African men are innately polygamous -by Rees Chikwendu

A Dutch female friend once shared her concerns on her boyfriend with me. She narrated something I considered normal worries that any woman in a relationship could have. She feared that her boyfriend in another country could be doing something… stupid. In my usual style of communication, which is not unlike a swing of the mighty Mjölnir, I bluntly told her that African men are natural born polygamists. With that statement, I added more weight to her worries or suspicions. She probed further to understand what I meant, and I bluntly told her what she expected to hear – that is, we African men are naturally born to cheat on our women. End of story!

Now, for some African haters out there or even some of my non-African audience, before you say that, aha! Do not think I am adding more arrows in your quiver to shoot at an African brother at any moment. That would not be my intention. What you are reading is my personal opinion based on certain observations and thoughts, it is not hinged on any core data or scientific studies. Nonetheless, I believe that the elaboration likelihood for an African male to cheat on his woman is high, but I will expound on it after narrating the whole short story with my Dutch female friend.

In my attempt not to be utterly unfair to my African brother, I did ask her if there was any reason not to trust this guy in question. She responded in affirmation to a thought I had in my head about her, and she told me that her boyfriend hasn’t given her any reason to doubt his fidelity. At that moment, I decided to jump in the pool without swimming floats. I questioned her to know if her concern was borne out of her desperate needs and excuse to cheat on him, especially since he was far away in another country at that moment. Well, we laughed at it… but I knew that wasn’t far from the truth.

Few times I have had to put up with mild arguments with some Caucasian females either dating an African brother or nursing the intention. Most often, they assume that African men are always on the prowl with their penises to cheat on their partners. Even though there is the propensity for an African male to cheat given the opportunity, there are more reasons to counter such an argument, because I have seen it all; white, black, yellow, brown, chocolate, pink, etc. The truth is that there are as many white males’ cheats as there is black males’ cheats; also not only applicable to males. Otherwise, the breakups and divorces rampant in western societies are not because non-African males have no penises, but primarily because they stick these penises in the holes that do not belong to them, or through sexual ‘franchising’ and ‘licensing.’

However, I would like to believe that there is a high probability for an African male to cheat than a non-African male. Again, this is my personal opinion and assumption it is not based on any scientific studies. First, because most Africans have polygamous backgrounds, and it will be hard to not find an African without one of these: polygamous parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents. At least my maternal and paternal grandparents and great-grandparents were polygamists. Therefore, this could be leverage for an African male to respond to randy behavior, outside any moral compass or the scriptural principle to “stick to one wife.” I have often heard some African males use this as an excuse to cheat on their women, and say, “after all my great-grand parents practiced this.”

Second, African women are very generous and forgiving even at having knowledge of their men’s promiscuities. This gives African men the leeway to flagrantly engage in extra-vaginal activities. Furthermore, the cultural contempt and shame attached to breakups and divorces is bending African women too much to give to their men that which they don’t deserve. There is also this need in every African women that it is a must to be married, therefore when the suitor is not coming it’s as if she’s not a woman. Most African women want to be Mr. A or B’s wife or Mrs. When this doesn’t happen anything with a penis is a potential husband. It could also be because they value their families and would do anything to protect and save it from collapse, making their men to care less in being faithful to their women. Lastly, African women are too dependent on their men; what you get in male-dominated societies.

Having considered these notions about the propensity for African men to cheat on their women, I would like to say that there is no justification for such practices. It is something that should be abhorred by all. People in any society, whether male or female should not allow certain outlandish cultures to bend or squeeze them too hard to tolerate wrongs. Real men and women are not those that get easily bent by some old-fashioned cultures that cannot protect their women and children, they are those that find their way to rise above such cultures and give voices to that which is right.