Letters
Am closing in on 30 -when will i find Mr Right?
I was at the cinema the other day when i noticed this lady, despite the funny and interesting movie that was showing, her face was tight, i sensed she was disturbed and close to tears. For those of you who don’t know, the easiest way to get a disturbed lady cry her heart out to you(a stranger) is to show concern and be able to hit the actual disturbance on the head the moment you open your mouth to speak to her. That my friends, was exactly what i did.
After a short period, two minutes actually, i got to know that the next day was her birthday. She was entering “the ladies marked age(30)” with no fiance, no suitors, no boyfriend or whatsoever. Her parents kept freaking her out on this and hence, her resolve to come to the cinema to while away time before returning home.
“Please don’t ask what happened further because nothing happened further“.
I really can’t say what exactly pushed me to writing this, but i will let you know a few of the places where you ladies got it all wrong. Just the other day i was chatting with my friend about this lady in our group, without waiting to get the context, the next thing i heard was “bros no try am o, unless you won marry next week(my friend don’t try it unless you are willing to marry next week)”. Most ladies, at the age of 25 think their biological clock has started to tick too loud that their neighbours could hear. Because of this, they have the “i want to get married NOW” written all over their forehead, scaring every men away.
While some ladies search for the type of marriages or husbands they see on movies, the type filled with passion and excitements, others on the other hand set their focus in the wrong places.
Some look for a tall, handsome, funny, energetic, outgoing man who’s exciting and impulsive yet stable and dependable. Many others look out for the car driving types, the already established ones, those type that will facially claim to love but the moment they eat your cookies you will see them no more, and then you begin the process of searching and selecting all over again.
If i may, looking for a husband is not it. Looking for a husband is like looking for already baked bread in a wheat field. The best practice is to look for friendship that has a good possibility of blossoming. Take some time to re-look your standards to see if its actually realistic in today’s conventional society. Don’t make the game too hard or too easy for him, try to keep it balanced and periodically checked, do not be too quick in offering your cookies and most of all, know when the right hand is knocking at your door.
If you disagree with me or have more to add, please make your comment!
Ayo Obawura (@Meand9jer)
July 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm
It boils down to neglecting critical stage of life which you don’t have control on. In this part of the world ladies don’t toast men, when you try that, you are considered a whore. Most young ladies felt marriage is a switch that they can just press and activate the stage anytime they like. It is common to young ladies having suitor at their younger age but the youth exuberance has blindfolded them. At 22-24years old still a fresh graduate full of life, a whole chunk of them felt marriage is not the the next issue but forgotten that a marriage you wish to consummate in the next 3years have to start now. Because marriage is not boyfriend and girlfriend thing. It is a serious business. And a business that want to survive the next decade will start with a plan( which is called Business Plan). By the time they are ready,they get so desperate that they become an easy prey in the hand of every man they come across. Just because may be, some of them have made some cash, thinks a guy will just jump at them and rush into marriage. Everybody want a marriage they can enjoy not endure. And when you become desperate guys start ruining away from you. And has the clock is tinkling so also your day is passing, before you know it alas you are 30. Bottomline, have a plan for every stage of your life. Begin to plan when you want to get married even while you were still in school. It gives room for peace of mind to accept and rejects.
Jeff Okoroafor
July 8, 2012 at 8:20 pm
Mr Ayo, your comment has taking a very nice perspective in addressing the topic.
If women begin to plan on time, then they have a better chance of meeting their deadline, same is applicable to the men anyway.