BÒDÁ ODÚN Goes to School -By Kehinde Oluwatosin B.

Kehinde Oluwatosin

Dear Bòdá Odún how are you sir?

It has been some three days. Is it the mountain of your end that has blocked your view of my end? I know your schedules are very tight but notwithstanding you should have remembered me given that we both know the importance of people as the cloth and covering of humans. The last time I saw you was in the movie múfú olósà oko where you combined the elusiveness of Jet Li and the spotlessness of Steven Seagal to terrorize the people and the city. I covet your wizardry in the movie and I sometimes wish I am as elusive as you were in the movie.

I am writing to congratulate you on the occasion of your graduation from the prestigious university of Lagos. In millennial language all I can say is wow,’what a laudable achievement!’ you crisscrossed from movies into business, Ègbón you are versatile. Ègbón is what we call an elder statesman like you who do near impossibles of this kind in my culture.

I salute your audacity,not only did you go back to school, you went back to study a technical course in the mode of business administration, an evidence of your business passion and skill. Once again I say wow. But Ègbón you are smart o,you are a man who saw tomorrow even before it came, you are a very smart man sir, you knew it was beautiful to be called a graduate, you also knew that to have a certificate gives observers the impression you know what you are doing, however, you knew the certificate does not necessarily translate into wealth or even a good life,in fact you know and see a lot of graduates who ride okada and danfo on the street of Lagos, armed with this understanding you went into acting, honed your skill adequately knowing that success in that area gives you a harem of certificates; the ones you need and the ones you do not need. Ègbón your head is there o.

Bravo is all i can say to you for acting out the Nigerian script perfectly, you knew from the onset when your contemporaries struggled for admission into universities that it does not really worth the while, when they looked at you as not serious you knew for sure you were going to employ many of the so called serious in a future to come hence you did not budge.You knew by understanding that when you achieve your celebrity dream certificates would be placed freely before you even in the presence of your enemies. You knew with your celebrity status to attend all the class might not be necessary, 75% attendance would not be applicable to you, students whom those rules apply to would even beg to write your assignments for you probably in exchange for a selfie. When your lecturers asked about you, you told them you were in location,your lecturers excused you because they are aware that it’s because of the fun they derive from your movies that has kept their bodies and spirits alive, for to think of the incessant strikes, delayed payment of salaries, unpaid bonuses, decayed infrastructures is to die before one’s time if not mixed with a little fun. That is why you are given academic immunity as a commander in chief of fun republic to have your certificate on your own terms.

Wow Bòdá Odún you are a genius,I really covet your smartness, if I was as smart as you as a young boy back then I would have quit schooling since I learnt how to read and write in primary five, I shouldn’t even have attempted the common entrance, I shouldn’t have borne the burden of seeking admission in my early years through a rigorous pre-degree instead I should have focused on other things, my talents, I should have been smart enough to know that the certificate was easy to get when you become rich, the education shouldn’t have come first, but rather the fame and the money.

Bòdá Odún I want to thank you once again on your achievement as a movie guru and a business administration graduate, you have done the brotherhood proud, we pray that you have more success in all your endeavours. Ègbón I like to crave your indulgence on a final note, if you have any of your friends bearing a name similar to mine and are willing to go back to school please inform them that my certificates are up for grabs, it’s cheaper they get it from me than from UNILAG.

Thank you sir and God bless.

Kehinde Oluwatosin is a prolific writer, public speaker and finance expert from Abeokuta Ogun-State.

E-mail: kehindeobabatunde@gmail.com

Twitter: @tqatqa