Celebrity marriages: why they last longer than the life of a mosquito!

Filed under: Global Issues |


Is has always been a tradition that celebrity marriages don’t last. Whenever I hear famous wedding bells, I spit on the sand with assurance that there will be divorce news before the saliva dries up. If you doubt – try it for yourself. I know this ‘valid life choice’ is a thing for Hollywood stars but in these modern days, Nollywood celebrity marriages are beginning to make my saliva dry up faster. So it’s better to know why these marriages are compared with the life span of a mosquito.

According to Sherry Gaba, a life coach on Celebrity Rehab, “In general, stars have a great degree of narcissism. They always have the public eye on them and they want to look good in the public, so it makes them targets because everyone’s watching them all the time.”

I stopped reading when I saw Narcissism. Just in case you’re wondering what it means, it’s a sickness rich and famous people suffer from – You don’t believe me, checkout the rich people in Lagos city. Celebrities are assets, brands and they are obsessed about themselves (for the record, I love celebrities) but let’s face fact. They act everything like it’s a movie even their marriage life.

The only reason why Nollywood marriages haven’t turned into the alarming record of ‘keeping up with the kardashians’ is SIMPLE! A Nollywood star can never marry a fellow star because two self-centered, selfish, egotistical megalomaniacs apparently cannot live together in the same house for very long. As it is said, two captains can ruin a ship but cannot run a ship.

Okay I have to cut off some slack. Not all celebrity marriages crash. It’s definitely not rock and science because if that were the case, divorce should obviously have a G-mat exam before you can proceed. So this brings me to the part where I’m supposed to give out marriage seminars on a constructive, long lasting celebrity marriage but who am I kidding – I really don’t care.

I don’t care whether a marriage is captioned “celebrity marriage” or not, marriage is marriage and i beleive every marriage has the survivability potential if the person or people involved choose to make it so. Celebrity marriage like any other marriage can survive if the celebrities themselves can(am emphasizing this), lower their pretend standard and obey the SUBMISSIVE teachings of the scripture. A vast majority of these people think that maybe because they are celebrity and perhaps beautiful, that they can on a snap of the finger, grab themselves another mate, well let me explain something to them as well as those THINKING divorce right now.

When you are not in a good place either in your relationship or marriage, two things are bound to happen, 1) you wan’t out -that is divorce and 2) you try to give it another shot by doing something a little more crazy to fix your relationship, or marriage. Most celebrities never go for the second option, the first is their best bet. However, if you pick the first option, that is divorce, you have an unpredictable chains of event that in some ways, could be catastrophic or good!

If you’d get divorced, it will take at least six months to go through the five stages of grieve -denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. For the sake of argument, let us optimistically agree that it takes approximately six months to find a compartible mate. Tracks on another twelve months for courtship and additional twelve months for attempting procreation. You can see how the stacks are starched up if you decide to put it out on a graph.

The truth is, at times in a relationship or marriage, you find yourselve LOST. At that stage of your life as man and wife, you need to take out some days or even weeks and do some of those things you do while you were single, live life and at the end of the day, you can better decide whether you guys wan’t to work it out or pack up your shop and go home. This last statement in reality is for the ordinary people, celebrity case is different, they often want the quicker action -divorce. Aside the above listed stages of grieve you pass through when you divorce, one thing you never get out from is the “LOOK”!
Allow me to kalistrate. For a divorced celebrity, whenever any man or even your fellow woman sees you, the first thing they trash you out with is the LOOK. For them, it might just be a simple innocent look but for you, its a LOOK of JUDGEMENT, a LOOK of PITY and a LOOK of SHAME. This is one thing you never get out from and hey, not too many men would want to do business(marry) with you because they all LOOK at you like a second hand material. So, if you don’t want to pass through this agonizing stages in your life as a celebrity, lower your pretend standard and re-organize yourself for your home.