Dino Goes To Bourdillon and the Other Nigerian Story -By Bunmi Olaniyan

So the latest in this sustained circadian episode involves the flamboyant and larger-than-life king of bling, ‘Distinguished Honourable Senator’ Dino Melaye venturing into the Bourdillon Road lair of the Lion, Jagaban okunrin ogun (man of war) in the aftermath of the entertaining verbal jousting with Lady Jagaban, Remi Tinubu.

My instinctive reaction to this latest offering was that of puzzled dismay, mostly borne out of the animated interest this seemingly innocuous incident has garnered amidst a cross-section of Nigerians, until I quickly situated myself in our unique political clime and the reality of our collective narrative. Yet this latest incident in our comedy of errors invariably elicited several questions which require some sort of coherent response.

Hence, I asked myself why elected lawmakers would jettison all vestiges of common sense to indulge in a disgraceful spectacle of self-mocking pantomime.

Then, I wondered at the enthusiastic response of many of their own constituents, sentient humanoids with full agency of thoughts and actions, yet who seem quite content to celebrate the odious anomaly.

And then it hit me square in the face.

I have just come to a realisation about our Nigeria, the challenge we are confronted with is not the faulty narrative actively promoted and sustained by the morally challenged political class, but rather the infinite depth of officially sanctioned mediocrity the average Nigerian is prepared to condone from them without complaint or rancour of any sort.

Think about it for a mili-second: politicians in foreign climes regularly make fools of themselves, however unlike the average Nigerian, these sporadic comedic accoutrement they are so often caught indulging in is neither endorsed nor condoned at the expense of discourses bordering upon nation building.

It is distinctively different when a collective are fed up of the metaphoric shit storm raining down on them from the rear orifice of the rarefied stratosphere of Nigerian political elites, in that case a unified response can be garnered and even sustained for a prolonged period till a top to bottom political renaissance is achieved. But there is little one can do to disabuse the minds of a lethargic demographic who are resolutely invested in sustaining the status quo: one simply just “Gba fun olorun” (leaves it to God) and hopes for the best.

And so in the midst of an economic instability teetering the nation on the precipice, a palpable sense of insecurity amidst home grown genocide, which has heralded in its wake unimaginable incidents of wanton bloodshed requiring the direct input and participation of our lawmakers, amidst other equally potent challenges confronting us as a nation, we are instead regaled with interludes of successive episodes of Baba Suwe, Mr Ibu and the Osuofian comedic pantomime.

As thousands of Nigerian children, through no fault of theirs, other than an accident of birth are exchanged for bags of food in a worrying throwback to pre-Dickensian periods, while others are caught in the crossfire of the multifarious domestic conflicts threatening to drown us in rivers of blood, the overriding priority of the presidency is caught up in the planning and hosting of a state dinner to mark the graduation of the first children and their calls to bar, with several high ranking Government officials as guests, resplendent in their expensive attires. The same government officials who have given the victims of Benue, Jos and Kaduna massacres a wide berth without courtesy of a single solidarity visit, are now visitors to the first children’s graduation dinner.

At the risk of sounding like an individual consumed by the green eyed maleficence of envy, I daresay I have never witnessed such elaborate celebration of first degree acquisitions, prompting me to conclude that the first children are probably the first set to acquire a full degree in that direct lineage.

What informs the average Nigerian leader’s audacity of lawlessness?

What informs the abject lack of empathy for their constituents?

The truth of the matter is that both the Tinubu dynasty, Dino Melaye etc. microcosm of the Nigerian political class as a whole, steeped in a sublime sense of entitlement, are in seamless sync with their audience; they know that in spite of their catalogue of misdeeds and arrogant posturing without let, the spate of distractions and comedic interludes will provide adequate protection from addressing pertinent issues which require their official input.

They know how to perpetually sustain this self-referential pantomimes; for we are an enthusiastic audience of residual simpletons fully immersed in the whole experience, hence we are forced to even applaud the reverberating sonic booms of stupidity.

Bunmi Olaniyan writes from the West Midlands in the UK.