Domestic Vio-Lense -By Issa Ahmed Babatunde

Unsurprisingly, there’s been a plethora of female reactions to the recent thread of domestic abuse but what many have failed to do is to give a proper account of this act of violence.

Being domestically violated doesn’t just mean getting hit; it might be emotional,verbal, psychological, financial abuse or the prominent one which is the physical abuse.

This act of intimidating or abusing a partner or a member of the family stirs fear in the abused person.

Domestic violence is not and should not be gender-based as many have justified because it is a situation or a gradual process by which an individual (male or female) makes consistent efforts to play god in a relationship, taking full control over the other.

Anyone can be a victim regardless of your gender, age, religion,social status or ethnicity.

There’s no justification for domestic abuse but no one in their right senses will pounce on their partner for no reason, when a woman hits a man first, what is she expecting? a standing ovation… though it might be appalling to most women that men indulge more in the act of abuse forgetting that most women can be verbally violent.

Generally verbal abuse comes before physical abuse for a person who is domestically violent the partner must seen traits or witness them committing bad behavior towards others like their younger siblings. Commonsense should tell us that it’s only a matter of time for them to have the same reaction towards us when things go wrong between us.

Before you assume a particular gender is a thrash or none of them are good, how well mannered have you been?, abuse in most cases is an action that comes from a reaction so before you get committed to someone, take your time to know them, not everyone has to be with someone or deserved to be with, just because you can’t be with someone doesn’t mean everyone has to be single.
Essentially no one is “stuck” with anyone! Everyone of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

Each of us (chooses) who we spend our time with.

Without an iota of gender sentiments, the males abuse more but that does not take anything away from the females who does the act as well either emotionally,financially or verbally, ending an abused relationship doesn’t come easy.

Departure of a partner doesn’t guarantee safety of the abused as many have blamed those who refused to opt-out; instead it intensifies because the abuser feels loss of control over the abused.

Without subjecting domestic abuse to physical reactions, the abuser who has been feeling insecure and mentally unstable will come up with threats, frequently monitors and stalk the abused even after fleeing the relationship.

Those single ladies who are chanting situationship and blaming people for being committed to an abused relationship are yet to come to this reality and does not know the peak of fear the abused is griped in, accompanied with love and tenderness presented by the abuser.

Though domestic abuse doesn’t surface at the beginning of relationships in most cases, it is a gradual process borne out of love as many have claimed but with an element of doubt and jealousy.

Anyone who is “unhappy” in a relationship and (chooses) to stay is (choosing) to be “unhappy”. There’s no way around that.When (we change) our circumstances change!

There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have, the later is dangerous because abuse could lead to death of the abused or the abuser when the abused retaliates.

Though the present generation are more concerned about the glamour of their proposal and wedding other than putting more efforts in work to make their relationship a success, prioritizing glitters over morality and Godliness,most times we often look at the wrong things.