Fitting In To Normative Values -By Fatika Zainab

No man is an island on his own, so says the wise man that left us in a grave where he was buried alone. Perhaps, the wisdom here is that, people often cannot live alone in isolation except in death. In death, however, one is no longer needed with the living and thus shedding him apart to live alone and rotten. The normative existence of every person deals with association, which basically keeps them alive in addition of course to the basic necessaries of life.

For a lifetime existence, people have been depending on each other to sustain life as it is, whether such sustenance is good or bad. In either ways, man thinks whichever way he gets affects him positively. Bad people think doing bad things as a means of sustenance affects their life positively and as such, hindering any change that may be welcomed. Fitting in to the norms in a society differs as societal norms exist in every decent society. Now, people, while growing up are considered and expected to fit in certain categories which shape their whole attitudes towards growing up.

Consequently, in a bid to fit in – people are expected to put in mind where exactly they belong, as the saying goes “cut your coat according to your cloth”. The nerds are expected to mingle with a bunch of nerds every day; the extroverts are socially active and most times will not entertain and welcome the introverted nerds whom they consider boring. The bourgeois class is often seen hanging out together while the proletariats peep with envy and admiration.

Societal norms involve behaviors that are necessary in order to fit and conform to a particular group. Mostly, deviation from these norms attracts ridicule and scorn. People are most especially influenced by their peer groups; they conform to what other people are doing so that they can be accepted and avoid absurdity. Men like telling tales of their household to their friends. For instance, a man tells his friend about how he beats his recalcitrant wife who considers the friend a coward, and in order to impress his friends goes home to beat his poor wife. Women tell their friends how to treat the husband whether negatively or positively. People think fitting in to certain standards makes them have an exerting influence on people. It makes them conform to certain values in order to be liked and accepted.

Apparently, conflict arises where hierarchy of norms are created for people to follow thus causing inferiority and superiority complex respectively in a society. Inferiority complex continues to be a malignancy in the society because, in trying to fit in, the fear of not measuring up to a certain standard in the society causes low self esteem. Every day we see people who are bitter about their lives when they do not get the necessary attention from people – where they always feel like they are behind the scenes in their own existence. Perhaps, the simple advice is that people should be their own identity exclusively and they do not need a society to identify with them and fix them in a particular norm.