Growing Into Independence; Parents Support From Childhood To Teen -By Edwin Alivionote

Edwin Alivionote

The clamour for independence in human relationship helps facilitate the expression of our optimal potential. Countries have had to request for the right to self rule and governance, to enable them develop according to their contrived interest. The child grows from total dependence into becoming independent. The independence status of a growing child has little to do with age but more to do with the capacity to act unguided, with the chance of maximizing the free will of self governance.

Freedom comes with a price, which is the risk of misguiding ones path and opportunities. The reason a child is born to a parent or guardian is to provide a support system for the child. The grooming of a child has to do with nourishment for the body, to grow the flesh and develop the biological support frameworks. The mind is also a very vital aspect of a being, which is open to nourishment for a better function of our personality. The spirit part of our persona is the one that direct us towards some gateway that cannot be perceived in the physical and is not obvious to the sensory system.

Most parents are very protective of their children and teenagers, such that they fight their cause at the slightest chance of perceiving their gullibility. The child who grows with a pampering hand hardly learns how to confront the challenges of life. The child who is suppose to learn better from experience is averted from doing or experiencing how to deal with any of problems, social relationships and other daily challenges. The child who gets help at the slightest trial on issues will continue to experience hibernation of potentials. The child who is not strained to discovering himself or herself will grow up into early adulthood with potentials and traits unexpressed. The child may live the rest of his/her adult years on social/career support from those who are well expressed.

The reason why some persons will serve the role of consultants for others in matters concerning their lifestyle and business is partly due to professional capability and partly due to potential maximization by virtue of experience. Parents should create allowance for their kids and teenagers to experience some vital aspect of life so they can be shaped into balanced beings. The life we live is not all sweet or all bitter, it has the good-the bad and the ugly. All these aspects of life synchronize the personality of a person making the person better in dealing with affairs of life.

More often, we are fond of protecting our children from things that build them. The protection of children from discipline, from free socialization, from experiencing periodic lack, from being responsible for some domestic choice and lots more is a red flag for missing out on personality modelling. We cannot compare our kids with others because all kids are unique in a unique dimension. We should not judge the kids by what they express rather guide them to better options.

If we want our kids to become independent for the future, we have to make them grow with little interference in the core areas of exploring their personality. When a child grows into teenage and yet cannot express a defined personality then, the teenager stage will be unsettled, since the child has a diffused personality. Most a times, the child is guided on what to eat, wear, who to make friends with, where to visit, ideologies to imbibe. The truth remains, the child should lead and the guardian should guide.

The stage of adulthood is saddled with certain elements that the child/teenager must acquire as he/she grows; these traits are self awareness, confidence, communication skills, economic viability and lots more. Independence is not a state one should achieve with too much help rather, with much personal effort. Independence once achieved becomes a burden if it cannot be sustained.