Jeff’s Common Laws of Relationship.

Every serious and lasting relationship is built on the bone of intimacy. By intimacy am not referring to sex. Intimacy is about trusting someone enough to share your innermost secret with them. Your partner can’t know what your needs are unless they know who you are. Common laws of relationship allows you to understand that one of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder when you are coming home at night, it explains that for you to be in a meaningful relationship, you have to be self-actualize. It makes you to understand that everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding about ourselves. Relationship is a hard work, it takes a lot of time. Take some people years to realize what exactly they are into. Most couples get to the breakage point because what held them on isn’t intimate emotional feelings but physical attractions.

I always tell partners who come running to me that if either of them can’t be a good example of what a true relationship should be, then they’ll have to be a horrible warning for other people who intend to go into such union. What that means is, to him that watches, everything is revealed. For eons, humans have struggled to find less destructive ways to live together, the only reason they haven’t been able to do so is because they haven’t found an easy way to communicate.

Just like life principle of growth, you need to have a long time goal about your relationship from the very day you walk into it. Where you want it to be in 2 years time, 5 years time and so on. If your relationship don’t lead you to where you want it to in 5 years time, then you are rolling on a leaking boat.

Relationship is a process, complaining and blaming each other will never stop until you start communicating. When you stop blaming each other, real communication sets in. Once real communication sets in, relationship will then have a better chance of surviving. What many today calls romance is “deceiving others”. That, is one of the major reasons aside communication.

In relationships, in a real relationship, we do things we don’t necessarily like, for the people we love. Technically its called the self-presentation, we hide who we really are in order to be loved and accepted. The first you should do when you think your partner is cheating on you, is to ask yourself, why you are feeling that way? Has your partner done something in the past that sets in distrust in your present? Do you feel so because you’ve undervalued yourself? Remember, that when we undervalue ourselves, then we allow others to undervalue us.

Most people kill the romance in their relationships because they overlook those little things that ignites the fun every relationship should carry. Once in a while, take your partner out on a date, enjoy each others company, allow your partner see the courageous and romantic man she married.

For some people, its very hard to make ourselves vulnerable, by saying sorry, by asking how you can make things right, even though you are not at fault. Now some of us get mad when we offer our trust to our partner and they betray that trust, we want to burn them back by doing something more worst than what they did to us, but we could choose to play the game, choose to be the bigger man, and trying to control the situation.

In all my dealings, i understand that a large chunk of relationships ends not because the partners want it to, but because they can’t figure out how best to talk to each other without quarrelling. When a problem occurs in your relationship, don’t rush into it by trying to fight in, take some time to clear your head, think things through, be the decider by handling it firmly, no matter the anger bottling up inside of you, try listening to your partner, on what her view of the issue is, if you can, say you are sorry. That, will give her(if she also want the relationship to survive) the sensibility to be the one to play the role of “vulnerable” when next another problem occurs.

Jeff’s common law of relationship is intimacy through communication.

Let us know the common law(s) you’ve applied to better your relationship with your partner by dropping your comments.