Suicidal! -By Isa Eneye Mubarak

A woman who attempted suicide in Lagos 3rd Mainland Bridge

In 2016, a female student of the Bayero University Kano, (BUK), Sarah Imoleaya Ighidabo, committed suicide by drinking a poisonous insecticide suspected to be Sniper.

Last Sunday, 35-year- old medical doctor, Allwell Orji, jumped into the Lagos Lagoon and died. Last Saturday, a 500-level student of Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH), Ogbomosho, Adesoji Adediran, hanged himself inside his hostel room. In January this year, a 19-year-old student of Babcock University in Ilishan-Remo, Ogun State, Verishima Unokyur, also committed suicide and so on.

These are just some of the few cases that caught the public’s eye, there are still rumors and speculation and as to why they committed suicides ranging from depression, mental illness, hopelessness, loneliness and even some ‘spiritual’. While some leaves a suicide note for their loved ones, some didn’t feel the need to or might have committed suicide out of impulse.

Suicides used to be a very rare thing in Nigeria, for a country ranked as the 20th saddest Nation (Forbes). Nigerians are fond of always seeing light at the end of the tunnel. As Fela Kuti would put it ‘suffering and smiling’. But with the rising cases of suicides or attempted suicides in Nigeria, it begs the question of why is this now a trend.

As Nigerians, we typically don’t talk about “I’m depressed”. Many people with depression may not consider themselves depressed: Africans are mostly in denial about depression, we have the belief that depression is ‘white people’ disease, so we deny it existence and hence the havoc it causes, though not all suicides are as a result of depression, however, it is deeply connected. Suicide is not an issue to be made light of. It’s typically linked to depression which is not only a mental condition; it is also physical.

We make suicides jokes, we even call them cowards who couldn’t confront their challenges, but everything seems funny as long as its happening to someone else. Let’s pray we don’t face such circumstances that makes us suicidal or even contemplate suicide. In reality, nobody really wants to die, even those who commit suicides dont want to die, they just want to be ‘free’ of whatever their facing. Even some of the world’s greats once had suicidal thoughts, Eminem who tried to end his life by overdosing on Tylenol, Oprah while pregnant at 14 she considered ending things, even drinking detergent in an attempt to get rid of her baby.

I’ve only been able to guess at the devastation these people have experienced. Pain mixed with guilt, anger, and regret makes for a bitter drink, the taste of which I’ve seen take many months or even years to wash out of some mouths. The one question everyone has asked without exception, that they ache to have answered more than any other, is simply: why? Why did their friend, child, parent, spouse, or sibling take their own life? Even when a note explaining the reasons is found, lingering questions usually remain: yes, they felt enough despair to want to die, but why did they feel that? A person’s suicide often takes the people it leaves behind by surprise (only accentuating survivor’s guilt for failing to see it coming).

People who’ve survived suicide attempts have reported wanting not so much to die as to stop living, a strange dichotomy but a valid one nevertheless. If some in-between state existed, some other alternative to death. They’re not as intuitive as most think. These are people who were confused about what happened next, who felt so much shame that they couldn’t talk about what had happened to them, people who felt misunderstood and alone.

Some might be depressed. This is without question the most common reason people commit suicide. Severe depression is always accompanied by a pervasive sense of suffering as well as the belief that escape from it is hopeless.

Maybe crying out for help , and don’t know how else to get it. These people don’t usually want to die but do want to alert those around them that something is seriously wrong.

A suicidal person may not ask for help, but that doesn’t mean that help isn’t wanted. Reach out to them, listen to them and check their safety. People who take their lives don’t want to die—they just want to stop hurting. Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously. If you think a friend or family
member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject. But talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life.

Isa Eneye Mubarak
isamubarak66@yahoo.com
Tweets @IsaMubi3