Teenage Relationships And It’s Aftermath On Career Choices -By Kareem Itunu Azeez & Aminat Buhari

Nowadays its a natural instincts for teenagers, now when i say teenager i am accepting the definition of (Cambridge dictionary which concludes this are persons between the ages of 13-19, either male or females) they curiously want to feel the urge of what they call love, and even importantly take on adventures in which they will often be regarded as been matured or full of experience in the sacred streets of love, and relationship of which tragically they aren’t even prepared for.

However globally, relationship stage is determine by the environment we found ourselves in, things such as prom queen, and the rest in advanced country is part of what usually determine the level of experience one has, a situation whereby a 15years old girl is been taken on a night party even in the presence of her guardian or parents, such children or teenagers are open to the understanding of certain phenomenon when it comes to the journey of selecting who’s right and who’s befitting, because in every home, sex education has already being taught to this kids,and even their learning space gives them the various psychological experience needed to understand life at such tender age.

We can’t use that to judge or determine our own way of life in this part of the world, because the amenities to fact check what is right is only by experience, and by that, most times it never ends well, or by following the words of the old, which today’s generation children don’t follow anymore.

In this part of the world, now making a case study for the same teenagers, I tell you it usually would be difficult. Each facets of life comes with its own tradition, culture and believe system, however ironically enough, this is also the same part of the world where such children without father, nor mothers are dominantly beyond the labour force, dominant because not that the fathers or mothers are usually dead, but because most pregnancy comes from unwanted family hood, unprotected sex, the feel to know what sex is about irrespective of age or gender. Then of what use is the culture which we have failed to use leading to such plethora of errors, where instead if increase in Knowledge rather we mathematically increase in lower moral value and excesses and unwanted kids with student mothers.

It is usually a natural belief among the Yoruba nation, when it comes to women, how a virgin she’s expected to be before marriage, now to the young man, it usually expected to know Tue number of farm he has, especially among our Igbo brothers, all this have been sent into oblivion in the name of civilization, yet this civilization we haven’t really followed it thoroughly, now am not generalizing, am being careful with my words, because there are places and people whose personality is of topnotch, people the Yoruba’s would say, (Won bi, o tun tunre bi), they were born and raise, however they also decided to raise themselves uprightly.

Therefore even though we are somewhat confuse and standing in between two endless diversity of staying with our culture and delving into the foreign norms, many future are wasting away into the lower echelon of life. But am glad you haven’t fallen into this cadre, I just have the believe.

As a student teacher and a campus journalist, though coincidence have brought us together to pioneer this piece, but the truth is, each would come with the quota that matches each stand point of view. We have seen situation whereby secondary school children are already nursing babies, at an age they are even yet to understand what is right from what is wrong, a period where nothing should matter to them except for the sole aim of why they are in school, however with giving room for the unequal fingers across each family’s border, but yet that’s not enough reason to sell our value for a cheap price -the females fall well below this category. Whatever amount a man spends on you thats because he’s quite more than that, he can get as much as that, but remember you can’t get your body back.

Why do teenagers even engage in such practices, against the will of the many churches and mosques who’s ideologies they have decided to follow, against all the various advices from mothers and fathers, in whose hands we grew, or even against those who have become our mentors and who have decided to shape our lives for good, why do we still make that mistakes? perhaps calling it a mistake is drawing a quick conclusion, why then do we delve quickly into what we aren’t psychologically prepare for?

The answers are nearer than the question, with various interactions among various people, some actually came to the conclusion that, the love not found at home, in family, is being found outside, either at work or in school, and unfortunately it usually come from the opposite sex, and the only way to keep such happiness is to give it what it takes, sex, relationship, sacrifice, forgetting quickly its only a mirage of lifetime.

Another group believes that in most occasions the family in which these teenagers find themselves in becomes the reason they indulge in such act. A family whereby the father comes home with his concubine whenever the mother is not around and bribes the children to keep mute about it of course such child will also feel he/she is also entitled to behave the way they pleases, or in a family where the first child of the family is the result of the unwanted pregnancy, the two parties might not really care if their child fall prey to such indecency after all they also did this during their time, in their days of ignorance. They however conclude that most of the causes of such mentality is mainly from the root, The Yorubas will say (“Ile lati keso ròde”) everything begins at home.

Some are of the opinion that, peer groups determine such decisions most children and youths today make. A child who sojourn in the midst of the opposing way of life, far from responsible to being irresponsible, in particularly this bad influence are even higher in our society today, and they quite however dominate the spheres of life, “The bad are more than the good”, and in such scenarios there’s every tendency that you make the wrong decision, an adage says, ” You are as good as those around you”.

Some other groups are of the opinion of poverty, this particular group, I actually would to some certain degree go with them, Let us take into consideration, a young pretty Lady born with no silver spoon, in today’s Nigeria, she’s sent to secondary school with a token of perhaps #200, to feed and till dusk before she’s entitled to another meal at home, she’ sees her friend with what they are stuck with food-wise, she see them how they are well kitted with various gadgets which isn’t fortunate to get, then there comes this stranger showering her lots of gifts for free without asking her for anything in return in the process, sooner or later she begins to question the authority at home, and in a short time she get use to what she’s not ready for, and when the giver one day seeks for something in return, her guide is already loose, that way she’s stuck in a relationship not base on love, but base on necessity, this is only an example judging by the low moral value imbibe in today’s children, “Money over everything”. However let us not think this is happening to all, but at most the percentages are not in the favor we want to read about.

But to our own perception, without trying to be innocent, the various reasons above aren’t all genuine enough to fall prey to the hungry sharks of the world, however there’s room for complacency in matters like this, today’s world is all about survival of the fittest. In one of the days while teaching some of my students in secondary school, I had publicly states wish confidence in my tone that, more than 95% of the girls here are already sexually active, and none could defend such statement, at first I thought timidity wouldn’t permit them to voice out, but my assessment was given a finality of truth within, as one or two begin to see me privately and discus how they could get free from such harmful relationship which already is part of their life. This are girls between the ages of 15-18, at maximum.

Now in today’s world, while our counterparts across the world seems breaking grounds and creating innovations in a world where idea rules the world, our own kits and kin are loitering the world of creativity around blaming the government, while they hide under the cloak of bad society, meanwhile misplaced priorities have eaten deep into the functioning part of their tender lives. Now to conclude, we believe quite well that irrespective of the number of hours one uses to advise and talk to an individual, the reality is they still do what they will do, so away with bad parents, poor governmental structures, or even bad peer group, everyone understand what’s good from what is bad, and we are what we think we are.

The decision to be different solely lies in the hands of everyone, irrespective of age, race, gender but still let the family do its part and a better world where the Nigerian population would be a blessing and not a curse we see.