The Role Of Political Spouses In Our Evolving Democratic Space -By Erelu ’Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi

Being the paper by H.E. Erelu ’Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi, UN Women Goodwill Ambassador, Co-Founder, African Women’s Development Fund (AWDF) at the Women’s celebration in honour of Mama H.I.D. Awolowo, Monday, November 23, 2015, Lagos, Nigeria.

Protocols

It gives me great pleasure to be here this morning, as part of celebrations of the life of one of the greatest women this country has ever known, Chief Mrs. Hannah Idowu Dideolu Awolowo, fondly known as Mama H.I.D. Last week, when the funeral rites began, there was a comment I read online. In response to the coverage of the activities in Ibadan, someone said “I wonder what all the fuss is about. After all she was ‘only the wife of a Premier’. As distasteful as the comment might sound, such sentiments should not come as a surprise. We live in times when there is a deficit of so many things in our society- knowledge of history, respect for each other, regard for elders and humility to acknowledge the things we do not know or understand. Yes, Mama was the Wife of late Chief Obafemi Awolowo, former Premier of the Western Region of Nigeria. Chief Obafemi Awolowo is a legend, and our history as a country is never complete without reference to his ideals, perspectives and searing vision. However, no one can call Mama ‘only a wife’.

The task I have today is not to eulogise Mama Awolowo, more qualified people have done that. I have been asked to reflect on the place of women such as her in our political and social landscape. I thought the reference to Mama as ‘only’ will be a good place to start. ‘Only’ in this context conjures up words such as ‘ordinary’, ‘insignificant’, ‘mere’, ‘unnecessary’, ‘meaningless’ and so on. I am going to make some brief remarks on the role of political spouses in our political landscape. Even though I will be using the word ‘spouse’ a lot, I will be referring mainly to political wives because they are still in the vast majority.

With an increase in the number of women in decision making at all levels, we can no longer think and talk about political spaces as being dominated by men only. Hopefully we will get to a point when the conversations about spouses are genuinely about male and female partners and not almost exclusively about wives.

The wives of political leaders in Nigeria are often treated with suspicion and disdain. This is mostly because the track record of some political spouses has left a lot to be desired and has turned people against the idea of them being visible. I however believe that a lot of vituperation against political spouses is less about their actual or potential misdeeds, but more about the perceived place of wives. Wives are supposed to stay at home, looking after the home front, firmly under the control of their husbands. When they start roaming the landscape, regardless of how innocuous their activities are, they might become targets. I have often heard reference made to certain spouses of earlier Heads of State in Nigeria, who were either almost anonymous or practically invisible. People speak fondly of those times when political wives knew their place and were not seen in public, appearing to ‘rule’ alongside their husbands. And then Mrs. Maryam Babangida came along and changed the rules with her ‘Better Life for Nigerian Women’. Since then, we have had many debates about the roles of political spouses, the danger they present for democratic spaces through their back door manipulations, their use of informal authority for personal gain, their lust for illegal power, and the drain they pose on tax payers’ resources. While most of these concerns might be valid, I would like to have a look at the other side of the story.

The political wife, over time, has to become all things to all people. She is a mother to the family and community, entrepreneur,prayer warrior, professional, adviser, friend, negotiator, peace maker, hostess, ambassador, administrator, campaigner, opinion leader, role model, mentor, politician, mobilizer, advocate, pace-setter, philanthropist. To be able to accomplish all this she has to be an effective strategist, administrator, multi-tasker, networker and much more. A political wife is more than ‘just’ or ‘only’ a wife. There is no substitute for a politician’s wife, no personal aide, women leader or political appointee can take the place of a spouse.

There are different strategies that political spouses use and they are all valid. Some establish projects, some don’t, that is fine. Some play most of the roles mentioned above, some are just comfortable with one or two. That is alright too.They should not be condemned if they do or don’t.

All these roles are not only valid and part of the unwritten job description; any political leader without a spouse who can help perform these responsibilities will be at a serious disadvantage. However, with all these expectations also comes the understanding that wives will have the following character traits-empathy, humility, courtesy, grace, diplomacy, discretion, tact, restraint, generosity. It is understood that to whom much is given, much is expected, and so wives are required to carry out their various assignments with all the dignity and grace they can muster at all times, and be above board in all things.