The tribe we all need… -By Chukwuneta Oby

When a lady that I met recently told me how old her marriage was, despite a particular odd,

She got my attention.

Her husband and the mum don’t get along.

According to her, the husband has a very wrong impression of the mother.

Probably because the woman is the type that hardly talks when you want her to.

Somehow, the husband concluded that the mum doesn’t scold the daughter when she errs.

What the man doesn’t know yet is that the marriage has lasted that long because of a home truth that the mother once told the daughter.

According to the lady, She went to the mum one morning, (at the peak of their issues) to inform her that she’d really had it with the marriage and was quitting… due to what she termed as the husband’s ‘impossible attitude’.

The mum waited for her rants to be over before calmly releasing these next words to her:

“Hang in there. Your husband is better than your father.”

To think that she had always idealised her parents’ marriage!

She told me that those words from the mother marked a turning point in her life…as she began to make efforts to see ‘not always’ the husband’s faults but mostly his efforts in their marriage.

While ‘gisting with’ (talking to) an older friend, he told me that he almost made a mistake that he would have lived to regret… but for the wise counsel of a policeman.

According to him, his pregnant wife (back in her university days) called him one evening – while crying.

As he engaged her further as to the cause of her distress, she told him that a particular course mate of hers slapped her because she couldn’t leave the classroom fast enough for him to lock up.

He told me that all he wanted to do at that point was to teach “the silly boy” the lesson of his life.

Being a well placed individual in the community, he placed a call straight to the commissioner of police –requesting for an urgent action.

He told me that the policeman asked to see him instead and when he got there, the policeman told him that experience had taught him that the first to report a misunderstanding was not always the innocent one. And he advised him to reach out to the ‘boy’…for his own side of the story – as a father.

He did as he was advised and it turned out that it was actually his wife that did the slapping.

He said that other students that witnessed the hullabaloo confirmed the boy’s account of the issue.

So, it turned out the boy’s offence was notifying the pregnant woman (and her ‘gist’ companions) that it was time for him to lock up the classroom and return the keys to the department office…as ‘the class representative.’

He explained that she ignored him at first and when he approached her again, she slapped him.

Not just once but twice…while yelling “I dare you to try any rubbish with me” at him.

Yet the ‘boy’ walked away…without retaliating.

In my books, there are people that should not be found missing in one’s space,

…if you cherish rationality.

They are people who are handy with a truth that is akin to an uncomfortable pill.

Not minding that they may gain more (e.g. the policeman) from telling us what we want to hear.

They just go ahead and tell us that truth, anyway!

I refer to them as the ‘tribe’ that everyone should have in their vibe.

They are the people who make you look at the other side of the coin in situations.

Folks who point us to that uncomfortable (but necessary) truth that we just NEED to hear.