What Traditional African Men Think About Women And Work -By Segun Ogunlade

In the mind of traditional African men, who like others before them are chauvinistic about their physiology and accept the societal description of what the person of women should be, there is nothing like a woman being rich and independent when there is a man that could take care of her needs as they believe that most of her needs are monetary. This is so because of the old societal belief which holds that women should be identified with their husbands. As it has always been believed, men are superior to women in every meaning of the word.

Traditional African men and the society haven’t come to the full realization of the changing times that we are in and a long list of things that have changed with it. Many women are no longer comfortable with being materials for the living room, the kitchen and the other room when they could do more than like their counterparts in other climes that is replete with many women doing better than most of the men around them, many of whom had hitherto been thought to be stronger and better. The way women are breaking frontiers has proven that no gender is better than another and that strength and greatness are things of the mind.

Despite this, traditional African men who are steeped in tradition don’t believe it is ideal for a woman to be rich and independent. For one, they feel intimidated by women that are doing better than them. Again, they believe the protection and responsibilities for a woman have been placed in their minds by the society that preaches about their being stronger than women. A divergent from this means their ego is being messed with. But apart from these, there are other reasons traditional African men don’t want their wives to work.

Traditional African men believe a woman that is working tends to earn better and eventually get richer than they are. The richer a woman becomes, the more she would want to be independent. When she is independent, she would not be the easy to control. A woman that defiles the control of her husband is believed to be the worst of women. These are the beliefs of a traditional African man. Besides, traditional African men are egoistic like men in other parts of the world. A woman that is working and getting her own money is a threat to their ego. When a woman could boast of a considerable amount of money, she would want to call some of their decisions and authority to question. It is sacrilegious to a traditional African man to have his authority questioned by women that he was brought up to believe he is stronger than. And when a woman opts to share responsibilities for the family with a traditional African man because she doesn’t want to overburden him, he sees as it an unwelcoming behaviour that could challenge his manliness. Women being responsibilities of the men is the status quo. No matter how rich a woman is, she is still to be looked after by a man. This is why a traditional African man would feel his position as the head of the house is being usurped by his wife when he is out of job and the wife is the one sustaining the family. So that a woman would not grow out of control because she arms her own money, the traditional African man would try to prevent his wife from working. And when she is allowed to work, a traditional African man feels threatened when his wife earns more because of the fear that she would be too independent than is usual and would not be able to fit in to the description of the ideal wife he has in his head.

Also, traditional African men believe that the higher a woman climbs in her career ladder, the more she is exposed to other men. By being encouraged to a number of men aside her husband, the possibility of her being promiscuous is certain. When a woman is promiscuous, she poses a danger to her husband. This type of thinking is what lay at the heart of the traditional African men. Their reasons are not farfetched. One, a promiscuous woman would no longer enjoy the company of her husband especially when some of the men she is exposed to treats her in a way the traditional African man isn’t. Two, the husband of a promiscuous woman could be a subject of attack from the outside parties that want the woman to be all theirs. Thus, preventing their wife from working and thereby not being exposed to different type of men is a good way traditional African men believe their wives would remain faithful to them. After all, prevention is better than cure. Besides, the executioner wouldn’t want the sword get near his own head. Men that philanders don’t want their wives near other men. Seeing their wives flirt with other men is totally unacceptable and could lead to a myriad of problems. This is in the same way men believe they could marry more than one wife and women could not have more than a husband at a time. As the Yoruba popular musician, Pasuma, aptly puts it in one of his songs, men could marry as many women as they could take care of because there is nothing bad in it; a woman that is wife to more than a man at the same time is a prostitute. Thus, so a woman wouldn’t turn a prostitute when she is working and rising high in her career, traditional African men believe she should be stopped from working altogether. Every man, whether they be faithful in marriage or not, traditional or not, wants his wife to be his alone. The pride of a woman is for her back to know only a bed throughout her married life.

Traditional African men would do anything to make this be the case of their wives.

The belief that women are susceptible to moral compromise holds true in the present as it held in the past. Tradition as well as religion favours the emotional superiority of males over females. But it is largely untrue that women are prone to being promiscuous when they have too many men around them the same way it is untrue to say that every man loves football. As a matter of fact, it is the insecurity of the traditional African men that want them to make their wives function only in the living room, the kitchen and the other room. In the same vein, the belief that women that work and earn more than their husbands would grow to be uncontrollable is rather stereotypical than it is the truth. Whether she works or not, whether she earns more or not, a respectful woman would always be one. A woman that wants to be promiscuous would always be whether she is exposed to men through her job or not allowed to work so she could be watched. Yet, promiscuity is not exclusive to women. Men themselves are promiscuous. It is not one’s work or exposure to people of opposite sex that propels promiscuity. Rather, it is lack of self-discipline and respect for one’s body that makes them feel comfortable going to bed with anyone they so wish.

In this age, I consider him pusillanimous any man that wouldn’t allow his wife work or pursue her dream because of his own cowardice and gender bias. Moral uprightness as I have said is not exclusive to any gender. As it is among men so it is among women. As many men could be high-handed when they amassed a considerable amount of money and influence, so does women. Chasing one’s dream, earning big and being promiscuous are not concatenate and exclusive to womenfolk. The earlier the society begins to live above its description of what the person of a woman should be, the better for us all as no gender is superior to another. It is only a matter of perspective.

Segun Ogunlade writes from University of Ibadan, Ibadan. He is a final year student of the department of Religious Studies. He could be reached via email at ogunlade02@gmail.com and his phone number +2348085851773