A Love Letter To Our Wives From The Global Association Of Married Men (GAMM) -By Azuka Onwuka

At the massively attended 2022 Conference of the Global Association of Married Men (GAMM), held in Menanpolisia on Friday, February 11, issues relating to the welfare of marriage and family as well as the wellbeing and continued existence of men in a speedily changing world were extensively discussed and analyzed. At the end, this love letter of 30 points was raised for the attention of all wives to help strengthen marriages and make marriages happier:

1. Do not disrespect us with your words and actions and still claim to love us. We want to feel respected even with our imperfections. Correct us with respect. We are your husbands, not your servants. Even servants deserve respect as human beings.
2. Mind and control your tongue. It’s not everything that comes to your mouth that you must say and say exactly the way it came. Words can kill. Words can destroy a marriage or make it tasteless.
3. Even though you are not our maid, ensure the house is clean when you are there. We shall do that too when we are at home. We don’t like coming home to a dirty house, or welcoming our guests in an unkempt house. If you are too busy, instruct the children to tidy up the house. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
4. Be hospitable. How you receive our friends and family members matters to us. Make them feel welcome by coming out to greet them and being cheerful when you see them, just as you treat your family members and friends. Serve them water if there is no drink.
5. Dress neatly and smart always. Look good for us. We feel proud and happy when you look good and get complimented by others.
6. We know you work hard. We know it is not easy. We know your body has experienced the stress of bearing many children. But please try to slim down, no matter how hard it is. When we married you, we saw women of different sizes and chose you the way you were. We don’t like it when people think you are our mother or aunty, even though we are older than you. Where there is a will, there is a way. We are ready to help you lose weight because we love you.
7. Treat us like a king. Make us feel important and we shall treat you back as our queens. We can’t be belittled by outsiders and get belittled also at home. Our home is our kingdom.
8. Do not always claim to be right. There is no award from the United Nations or World Bank on the Most Right Person of the Year. If you accept that you are wrong, you won’t lose your height or shape! When you notice that you are wrong, stop jumping from one point to the other in justification. Just apologize sincerely and we move on.
9. Be polite always. It costs nothing. Sarcasm is not a virtue, neither is it a mark of creativity.
10. Be quick to say “I am sorry”. It is not too hard to say and does not reduce people’s height or beauty!
11. Do not delay us when we have to go out together. Start getting ready well ahead of time and don’t keep us waiting because we can be very impatient. When we attend appointments late always, we are seen as unserious people. We don’t like it.
12. We don’t like tension. Make us smile and laugh around you and we will want to hang around. Don’t turn every discussion into a quarrel. That will make us keep away from you.
13. Forget what anybody will tell you: We love to eat good food at home. If you have to go to a catering school to make us eat well, please do. We will appreciate it.
14. We do not like nagging. When you make your request, believe in us to do it in our own time. No amount of nagging can change us. If you nag too much, we simply keep away from you.
15. Do not compare us directly or indirectly to other men: whether your father, brother, friend or neighbour. We hate it! Stop it please!
16. If there are issues that need to be addressed, find a quiet time when both of us can talk. Not necessarily in the middle of the night when you’re most likely going to disturb our sleep.
17. Do not prioritize others ahead of us: not even the children, your friends, your family, your career, your religion, your religious leader or anything or anybody in the world. If you want us to treat you like our queen, make us your number one which we are supposed to be.
18. We can love so passionately. Never use it as a bargaining chip.
19. Be disciplined and wise in spending. You don’t need 50 sets of shoes, bags, clothes and necklaces that match to be beautiful.
20. Don’t turn the home into a house of contest. We are not competitors. We are partners. Nobody should win or lose.
21. We can be jealous. Do not get flirty with the opposite sex in real life or social media. It does not matter whether there is nothing between both of you. Show us respect and also show yourself respect as a married woman.
22. Do not paint us bad to the children. Help them love and appreciate us. There is no competition between the love they have for you and us. We know they usually love you more. Don’t use your words and actions to make them hate us. They are OUR children, not only yours.
23. Do not leave the home and children unattended. These days are evil.
24. Accept and relate well with our family members the same way you do to your own family. Our family members are now your relatives too.
25. Assist us in paying the bills, if you earn well. We are partners, not beast of burden.
26. Do not try to pry too much by reading our mails and responding to messages meant for us without our consent. Stop snooping and stalking us on the social media. We didn’t marry a Sherlock Holmes or Snoop Dog. Stop being unnecessarily suspicious of our female colleagues. We are not criminals.
27. Don’t use the marital bed or your body as a bargaining tool. We did not marry a sex worker. You are our wife and partner.
28. Smile always, even when you are exhausted from taking care of the home. We know it is not easy. We appreciate your labour of love. But constantly being moody scares us. We don’t like an unhappy environment. Don’t subject us to high blood pressure. We don’t want to die early.
29. If you need our help, ASK. We cannot read your minds. We are not wizards. But we will do our best to take care of our home.
30. Stop asking to know how we spend every dime and making us feel that we are irresponsible and unable to manage funds. Just trust us and all will be well.

Lots of love.💖🥰

Wishing our wives a fantastic Valentine’s Day in advance!