A Young Man Once Asked Me How He Could Know The Real Character Of The Lady He Intended To Marry. Here’s What I Told Him -By Joe Dauda

To know the real character of the lady you want to stay with for the rest of your life, watch the way she treats others. And by others, I do not mean your mother or your father or your sisters and cousins and nephews and people in that group: not even your friends. She is not stupid (except she is a special case) and will never allow you to see her true nature while relating with people she knows you care about. You can only get an opportunity to perceive her real nature by the way she treats people she believes have no stake in your life. This will be the waiters or waitresses in restaurants; security men in public or private buildings, other motorists (when you are driving with her), and persons you encounter while together. For maximum understanding of her nature and character, it is when any of these people are slow/dull, or insolent, or rude, or annoying in any number of ways, that you can learn. Does she curse drivers that drive roughly? Beware! Does she insult waitresses and make them feel inferior for trying to earn a living by serving food and drinks to patrons of a restaurant? Does she particularly criticize people she just met once the opportunity presents itself? If the woman you want to get married to goes out of her way to treat waitresses nicely, calms you down when the other driver is clearly the one at fault, respects and even greets security men she knows you can employ without stress, and generally manifests human sympathy, that is one of the safest qualities you can find in a woman. This is because, after the wedding and after every possible marriage excitement has waned, you need a merciful woman around. Except a woman has the milk of human sympathy in her bosom, you are in big trouble. I’m married and I know that, at the end of the day, simple mercy is what carries the day in marriage. It is mercy that will make your wife forgive you when you malfunction; it is mercy that will pull her through dry seasons because merciful people find selfishness a bit difficult since their absolute selfishness may hurt someone else; it is mercy that will give her the courage to take care of you especially, if, heaven forbid, something drastic like ill health or an accident happens; it is mercy that will enable her make the painful sacrifices that children require for them to get the best of their parents; it is mercy that will enable her go the extra mile in the marriage because her heart is larger than her mind. Talking about the mind, most men (especially highly intelligent men) are naturally drawn to intelligent women. This can be so serious to the extent that it beclouds consideration for the usual feminine attributes. But intelligence is not the same thing as mercy. And you ought to give this a minute’s thought because, of the groups of people that will make it to heaven, one of them is described as possessing mercy. And from the lips of the Master Himself we hear these words:

Matthew 5:7

“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy”.

The secret in the above words is in Matthew 6:14

“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you”. 

It is mercy that enables true forgiveness. The thing is that, if you forgive others, our Heavenly Father will also forgive you. And what would happen to a person who our Heavenly Father forgives? That’s a valid visa to the kingdom of God.

So being merciful is a big deal and a truly merciful person will have all the love qualities listed in 1 Corinthians 13. That person will manifest the perfect love Jesus Christ said must be in the heart of true children of God; the love that is nice to friends and enemies alike. Please endeavour to read Matthew 5:43-48. You will be shocked if you have never read that portion before.

In summary, the power of the love of the God that made heaven and earth (and the difference between Christianity and others) is in the treatment of enemies. The love of God in your heart (same as mercy) will cause you to give water to your enemy when he is thirsty. I have experienced this love. It is not natural. And you sense it in the little things. 

So young man, do not be carried away by a “loyal” lady who is ready to devour other human beings in the name of protecting you. Rather beware. She treats them that way because she feels she has no use for them. The danger in tying your life up with her is that, the day she feels (for any reason or group of reasons) that she has no use for you, you will be treated in the same manner those people were treated. So watch how a person treats the person that is weaker, poorer, less endowed, less experienced, less traveled, and even less spiritual, to know their real character.

This post is dedicated to my little bro, Ezra. He was the young man that asked me that very important question and I pray that God will arm him with wisdom and the resources to get into this institution, even as we await the second coming of Jesus Christ. 

May God have mercy on all of us.

Please I don’t want to receive chats from my little sisters asking me how they (as ladies) can know the real character of the men that are approaching them for marriage. The case for the ladies is not that different from men. Watch how the young man treats others to know who he really is. 

NB

By the way, this is why some little courtship (no matter how brief) is not a bad idea. But it is possible for divine guidance to lead a man to his future wife, like in the case of Isaac and Rebecca. My point is that, in the absence of such divine leading, courtship is great.

Messages like this are available on my Youtube Channel. Just click on the link below:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo6UXQjlfG4FWFT5mSnjCkQ/videos

For further information on this and other Biblical topics, please write to therepeatedsecondangelmessage@gmail.com