‘After All, Lagbaja Saw This Coming’ -By Oniororo Oladele Orepo

You see, after the made a speech about easing the lockdown, I felt relieved that at last ‘The lazy Nigerian youth and their families would finally head out to find something to eat by themselves, after the government had painstakingly fed almost the whole nation leaving only the disciplined and hardworking proletariat work force, who lived sustainably, but the bourgeois, Ah ! They were helplessly on the streets because they had no one to exploit and extort. It was the only time our long awaited reality check happened. They couldn’t even exploit the situation. I laugh in hahaha, LMAO and LOL. Those people are funny.

On Monday of the eased lockdown, come and see those well paid bourgeois who live ostentatious lifestyles storm the streets. After all the more than enough, weekly, and constant stimulus packages they get from the FGN. They are just so full of ingratitude. I don’t see any government that can do beyond what the federal government of Nigeria is doing for its citizens. Why Nigeria is the giant of Africa is not far from this.

So, on this Monday, I saw the money heisters we call bourgeois, with masks again, they are the ones who burgled houses night and day during the lockdown, despite having too much to eat at home. They couldn’t even afford the one-time-usable surgical masks. They mostly wear Ankara masks. Ankara! I am not joking, Lagbaja saw this coming. They even have the ones that have a cap come with it. They are people of fashion and style. That’s all they spend their money on, since they don’t work. I almost forgot to mention a groundbreaking innovation of one of our first class products. It’s a lady from one of our prestigious universities who designed a face mask made of bead. I know you are awed. The western world that colonized us too were utterly sorry for granting us our independence. They so wished they could take the glory of solving the aeration problem of face masks. Well, I am really very proud of us right now.

I would also want to correct the misconception of the public about the deaths recorded in Kano. It is wrong and disrespectful to say those large number of sudden losses stemmed from Corona Virus. How possible?

Have we forgotten that HIV/AIDS is a communicable disease? Our people should look out for symptoms first, before making this kind of generalization. Or better still, get autopsies done. I am really tired of saying things on and on to those informed people. Flu, pneumonia, cough, finding it difficult to breathe are symptoms of other diseases. I am not going to say this again. Please, let this stick.

Lastly, the “so help me God at the end of the National Pledge should really be sang loudly by the graduates who get automatic jobs after their study. We have really been helped, especially through the kind of leaders we have, who have planned well to secure the lives of youth and the leaders of tomorrow. We should be grateful to our leaders by changing it to “So help our leaders lord”. We have been helped enough. Don’t be selfish. 

Oniororo Oladele Orepo is a final year student of philosophy, studying at Olabisi Onabanjo Unisersity, Ago-Iwoye Ijebu, Ogun State. He is a passionate Human rights activist through policy policy agitation. A Pan-Africanist in deed.

Contact: obaorepo@gmail.com08068091787