[JUST IN] Envy, betrayals, jilting: World of Calabar lesbians

Recently, a major leisure outfit along the Murtala Mohammed Highway way Calabar, the Cross River State capital was swarmed by a deluge of female guests. Every room was taken up by these “guests” who frolicked in the swimming pool, bars, and barbecue spots.

Many residents of the city were taken aback by the presence of these ladies of all shades and colour who besieged the city. It did not take long before credible sources on the grapevine revealed that the visitors were lesbians who came from across the country for a three-day conference.

Some days ago as  churches held vigil prayer sessions to welcome the last month of the year before the Christmas month, in one of those churches, while worship and praise was going on, a tall fair complexioned lady walked into the church auditorium and took the back seat. After several minutes, one of the worshippers looked back and upon sighting the new entrant seated at the back, she breached all caution and dashed to the back.

The two were locked in a long embrace and other worshippers had to wonder what the two were doing. Not long after the embrace, they strolled out of the church.

Those are regular scenes in the streets of Calabar, schools, work places, homes as woman to woman love birds engage in show of open affection.

Narrating her experience and escapades as a lesbian, Ekaiquo, a dark skinned vocal lady said she was initiated into the practice by a senior secondary  school mate. “I attended an all female secondary school in Calabar. Though the school had boarding facilities, I went to school from the house. Sometimes on foot and sometimes I took taxi. One weekend, while in JSS3, a senior student invited me to her birthday party. I got there late.

People where eating and some  drinking when I got there. When the girl celebrating the birthday saw me as I stepped into the parlour, she was very excited. She rushed and embraced me tightly. She took me straight into her room. The bed was covered in clean sheets, flowers placed all over the room and bed. She brought me food and shortly after I finished eating, the girl came close to me, made me lie on the bed and gently robbed her hands all over my body.

She touched my sensitive parts and I did not resist. I felt she must have added something to the juice I drank. My head was floating above my body and as I began to respond, she tore off  my pants and with her fingers and tongue went after my breast and private part. This went on for a long time and people in the parlour started wondering what we were doing inside the room. They came to knock but she did not open. We were there till about 8.00 pm when she opened the door. I laid in bed and couldn’t move.

She had to call one of her father’s drivers to take me home. She gave me some money. For days, I couldn’t go out of the house. My mom asked why I was walking clumsily but I did not tell her. I treated my body of the bruises with warm water. After that , our meeting became fairly regular until she saw me with another lady and she stopped calling me.

“When word goes round the lesbian circle your abilities in the use of the tongue and fingers, you become hot cake and married women, girls, ladies would start calling your number”.

She said she was into lesbianism for years until she finished school before getting engaged in male- female relationships

“At first I did not enjoy the male – female act but was forced into it by the need to have children and also my mom was on my neck to get married”.

Another lesbian who calls herself Thelma said she was introduced into it by her sisters and their friends. “We would go out to have some drinks, get back to the house and tore at one another for hours. I did this for a long time until I had a taste of the male- female act and it became more exciting and irresistible and had to abandon the woman- woman act”

One of the girls narrated to Saturday Vanguard how she got involved with one of the celebrity lesbians. “ For years, Queen’s image adorned the Carnival Calabar king-size banner which was placed on the Okoi Arikpo building, headquarters of the Carnival Calabar. She was so much in love with me but she was too possessive and overbearing so I had to leave her. Anytime she saw me talking with another lady she instantly became offended and wouldn’t mind picking a fight right there. When I left her she cried for months. Sent people to beg me with gifts but I was done with her. She left Calabar to Eket and I hear she is involved with one tomboy who is into sports. I careless”

The lesbian world is ruled by envy, cheating, snatching of mates, betrayals and all acts related to erotic relationships.

“There is hookup in female – female relationships as in male – female affairs. If you want hookup, you pay for it and if it is relationship you want since you are the one wooing me, all the bills are on you,” another lesbian said.

A business centre operator narrated her experience with his landlady’s daughter along Orok Orok street near the University of Calabar.

“ There is this beautiful girl, my landlady’s daughter where I operate a business centre. She is always bringing female friends to her room. I thought she is a female footballer but when I constantly heard moaning coming from her room,  I became curious. I asked a tenant in one of the rooms close to her room and he told me what she was into. My appetite for her died instantly and I stopped toasting her”

Relationships in the female -female arena are beset with envy, betrayals, jealousy,  jilting and snatching of others’ mates. They move in circles and sometimes form  colonies. Sometimes two “males” can share  one “female” based on some agreed terms. Most of the bills  during sit-outs, picnics  are taken care of by the “male” who is the seducer in most cases.

“If you want a cake, you have to bake or buy it. You won’t ask me to come to satisfy you if you can’t pay or take care of my needs. You have to pay my fees, get someone to write my assignments or other academic needs while I frolic with you” Jane, a student at one of the universities in Calabar said.

She said just like you have female-male hookups, there are female-female hookups. “Hookups are driven by cash and if you want me to satisfy you, I can take time off from from my mate and come meet you where you are but you have to pay me” She said with authority.

She said even pastors’ wives and wives of prominent politicians are involved in the act but most prefer hookups to avoid being detected by their husbands.

Speaking on the preponderance of lesbian practices in Calabar, Dr Kingsley Ekam ,a Calabar-based legal practitioner said the government of former President Goodluck Jonathan in spite of pressure mounted on him by some prominent foreign countries to recognize same-sex marriage passed a law outlawing any form of such relationships but some youths are openly engaged in such practices oblivious of the penalty imposed by the law. They are ignorant of the consequences they face by defying the law.

“The Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill signed into law on January 7, 2014, by former President Goodluck Jonathan criminalizes public displays of affection between same-sex couples and restricts the work of organizations defending gay people and their rights.

The law imposes a 14-year prison sentence on anyone who “[enters] into a same-sex marriage contract or civil union,” and a 10-year sentence on individuals or groups, including religious leaders, who “witness, abet, and aid the solemnization of a same-sex marriage or union.”  He said the law also  imposes a 10-year prison sentence  on those who “directly or indirectly make [a] public show of [a] same-sex amorous relationship” and anyone who “registers, operates, or participates in gay clubs, societies, and organizations,” including supporters of those group

He said the law attracted condemnation from some human rights groups and individuals who consider it “draconian and old fashioned”

Dr  Ekam stated that the failure to arrest or prosecute persons who “glaringly are known to have flouted  the law in the past and in the present has seemingly emboldened more people to practice homosexuality in the country”

According to him television series which air lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender characters in glamorous scenes on popular television stations have increased the rate at which young people see such acts as worth emulating without taking into consideration the consequences of such acts

“The television scenes don’t show the consequences of homosexuality like HIV Aids, drug abuse, marriage failure and frustrations which come with such acts and youths copy them hook line and sinker

“Anyone who does not engage in such practices is seen to be living in the past”

He advised  state governments across the country to internalize the law and act decisively on culprits who break the law

“I can tell you that it is not only in Calabar that the practice is widespread but many Nigerian cities” .

A director, of the Ministry of Social Welfare, Mrs Ironbar told Saturday Vanguard that the ministry has a counselling team that visits secondary schools to highlight the dangers of lesbianism and why young girls should avoid it.

“Most of these girls start in secondary schools and by the tine they get into the University, they have become adept in the practice. It is an imported social norm and we have to fight it with all we got to stop it”.

Dr Samson Okpokam of the department of psychology, University of Calabar attributes lesbianism to “perversion of the mind and a distortion of the erotic desires and complete departure from the right to the left of the human mind”.

A clergy, Rev Samuel Etekemi said the devil is “wreaking havoc in this generation by making people disobey God in every activity including well-ordained procreation acts which God has given man right from creation”.