Life gives second chances, plenty chances, take it… -By Swandy Banta

“Life is entrusted to man as a treasure which must not be squandered, as a talent which must be used well—Pope John Paul II

Robert Sylvester Kelly (R. Kelly) was born on the 8th January 1967. He’s an American singer, songwriter, record producer and former semi professional basketball player.

1. Kelly sings so well so that he is believed to have redefined R&B and hip-hop and is widely acclaimed to be the “King of R&B” and the “King of Pop Soul”. He has 12 solo albums in his music career kitty, has sold over 75 million records and is acclaimed to be one of the world’s best.
2. Kelly has won several Grammy, BET, Soul Train Music, Billboard Music, NAACP Image and American Music awards

My elder sister and I have always shared a special love for music. Back in the 90s and early 2000s Channel O was the next best thing after rice and stew. We particularly loved the R&B songs. That was how we got acquainted with R. Kelly’s music.

Wait…Before you say you don’t know the guy; do you remember the popular “I’m your Angel”? That was the guy who did the song with Celine Dion. What about “I Believe I Can Fly”? Yes that was the same guy. Remember, “If I Could Turn Back The Hands of Time”? Yes that was R. Kelly. I also remember he sang “Gotham City”. In fact he wrote Michael Jackson’s “You are not alone”.

The guy is versatile and damn good at what he’s gifted for.

But there’s just one little problem; R. Kelly has been in prison for some months and could be remanded in prison custody for another 20 years or so.

1. Kelly seems to have a thing for under aged girls. As far back as 1994, he helped falsify Aaliyah’s age (she was 15 at the time and his protégé) to 18 years of age and married her. After the marriage was eventually annulled he moved on with his life and went on to have serial weird relationships with minors, which led to several allegations being leveled against him.

Between the years 2000-2008 it was series of allegations and trials, which culminated in a ‘Not Guilty’ verdict for the popular singer.

So my friend shared with me an essay which stated that when he was acquitted in 2008, his brother Kerry Kelly called him on the phone and said, “Hey man, God has given you another chance” but R. Kelly responded, “No, God didn’t give me another chance. My money gave me another chance”

Oh how I wish he had listened to his brother and made a ‘U Turn’. Here we are finally, when his money could not save him from being convicted and sentenced to years in prison.

There is pain in not utilizing second chances.

As I thought through the history of the popular singer and his eventual downfall, I couldn’t help but take a peep into my own life and assess areas in my life where I have been given second, third and even numerous chances that I keep flunking.

Sometimes we think it must be that we are being pedophiles or doing some really crazy stuff like R. Kelly did. It’s not necessarily so.

Are you at a point in your life where you feel like you have messed up? Or you feel you have lost your way and have found yourself in a strange place in life? Look out for an opportunity to make a U turn and fully utilize it.

Do you feel like the life you are living now was not the original vision you had for your life when you started off? It’s never too late to pick up the eraser and rewrite your story

Are you in a wrong relationship? You are not a tree. Please move.

Doing a job you hate because deep down in your heart you know this is not where you had dreamed of doing? Retreat and do some candid soul searching. Click on the redirect button of your life. Swallow some pills of courage and bravery and make a move in the right direction.

Are you neck deep in debt? You made very poor financial decisions that have left you at loss as to how to ever regain your financial bearing? Trust me the most successful people you see around have been there too. Make the difficult decision to get out of debt and stay determined and focused. You will come out of it

Or you just had a baby for someone who doesn’t want you or even the child? Face your fears head on. The forces of nature will work in your favor.

You dropped out of school and your parents don’t even know it? Don’t be afraid to start all over again.

Or you’re smoking weed and taking some other hard stuff that the people who love you don’t know a thing about. They love you enough to support you through the process of coming clean.

What would have been different if R. Kelly had made a U turn from his old ways after the not guilty verdict? That was a clear opportunity for a second chance for him.

He did not take the opportunity and so 11 years later he was back before a jury who did not hesitate to slam the guilty verdict on him.

That’s how it is with us. Sometimes it may be a health challenge that we know was being caused by our own carelessness. The doctor sits us down and tells us the procedure performed has solved the problem but advices us to desist from our old habits. At that point the choice is ours to either resolve to becoming more disciplined or risk a return to status quo.

I have been in situations where I knew I was guilty and I deserved whatever punishment I got but in an amazing twist of events I didn’t get what I deserved. The relief in such situations was indescribable. All I could think of was how to “go and sin no more”

The sad reality is that sometimes when we escape retribution over circumstances we very well know we are guilty of, we think it’s because we are smart, intelligent or have our ways around issues. That’s faulty thinking.

The right and responsible thing to do when we get to crossroads in life where we are dealt the hand of mercy is to take total responsibility for our wrongdoing and immediately redirect our lives.

I think you should consider the fact that life was even kind enough to give you an opportunity for a second chance. Not everyone gets a second chance.

One of the worst feelings ever is the feeling that you missed your chance

When life gives you a second chance, give your best shot.

Swandy Banta is blue blooded, ask her what that means and she gladly tells you, she’s been through the tunnel of pain and she found illuminating light. She writes and coaches on the difficult subject of pain. Whether it’s national pain, community pain or the pain of loss and the hurts of life that makes us all ask why—she brings new perspectives. Swandy can be reached on swandy.banta@gmail.com