Marriage Are Not Made In Heaven! -By Jeph Oluwagbemiga

I stumbled on the first official picture myself and Ayo took in Nov 1992 at Rotiflex studio by University of Ibadan second gate, after she accepted to go into courtship with me and I was just pondering on how we made it till today and still loving each other genuinely.

It’s been a long way since 1997 when we got married and I will be lying if I said it’s been a bed of roses.

No, it’s been a combination of roses and thorns, a mixture of salt, pepper and water.

In all, its been God helping us with both of us ACTIVELY & PRACTICALLY involved and giving God the opportunity to help us.

It is possible that couples live their lives in a way that God becomes incapacitated to help them.
We’ve struggled through personal challenges, financial hardships, disappointment from relatives, friends and brethren, unmet expectations etc but we are better now and still standing.

We do regular review our lives together and currently planning the next phase of God’s plan for us in the ministry. We are on course.

One of the key things that worked for our marriage is NEVER to live a life of LIES and SELF DECIET.
We endeavor not to hide anything from each other from day one when she said YES in front of Block E, Queens Hall University of Ibadan in September 1992.

We have fought our battles as a team because it’s to our own advantage by doing so.

The Bible said one person will chase 1000 while two (in unity) has the capacity to defeat 10000.
What kind of arithmetic do you think that is?
Meaning that if you fight marital challenges on your own (OYO) both husband and wife will only be able to defeat just 2000. But humility and openness on the part of both couples will give them 8000 advantage.

Couples who keep to themselves, who keep unhealthy secrets, who fight their own silent battles alone will not last together because the pressure of their individual battles will frustrate them.

Under the facade of suits and tie, skirts and blouse, gele and lace lies the pains and hurts of people. The most suitable platform to get the succor, understanding, healing and rejuvenation we all desire is in our marriage.

Other escape platform like jobs, friends, social media, extended family etc DOES NOT offer you a lifetime guarantee.

The time invested in hiding under these mushroom shades could be invested into building your own marriage.

I need to share this widely because in my role as a Family Systems Enhancement coach/counsellor, Pastor and Therapist, I have tried to let people know that God has SPECIFIC roles He plays in Marriages and He’s not likely to go beyond His Advisory role.

He will not force you to marry who you do not like, he is not likely to stop your car on your wedding day to marry a monster or chain you to remain in abusive relationships.

Marriages are not made in heaven. There is a divine concept but the building is to be practically embarked upon by the two persons involved.
God has his roles to play but he will Never do what he has empowered and authorized you to do in your own life and marriage.

God didn’t build the Ark, Noah did by simply following the divine instructions.
God won’t build your marriage but he will offer you the instructions, advise and grace you need but you need to get your hands dirty to do the required hard & smart work if you really want it to be successful.

I’ve met a lot of Bible carrying believers whose marriages are in shambles.
They are erroneously “leaving everything in the hands of God” who has already given them the guidelines and blueprint in the same Bible they are clutching.

So many people I have had counselling sessions with are looking for quick fixes, they want magic or miracle prayer or prophetic missiles. They don’t want to go through the painstaking process of building but they want to use God to download and install plug and play solutions.

No, it doesn’t work like that. Marriage is not for lazy people.

Noah had a blueprint but he had the choice of building something else since he’s the one holding the hammer, logs, the nails and the brain to do whatever he wish to build.

Noah could have gone to the social media to download other versions of blueprint and God wouldn’t stop him or make his internet non functional.

No, he has given us the opportunity to be RESPONSIBLE for our lives and Marriages and he is not going to micro-manage your affairs.

In conclusion, let every man and woman stand up to the required responsibilities of love, relationship and ensure that you do the right things right and in the right time.

Selah
Jeph Oluwagbemiga (Jeph3:16)
House Of Torrential Grace Church, Abuja, Nigeria
+2347082788885 +2348034008444