The Pregnant Married Woman And Her Pastor Lover… -By Abdullahi O. Haruna

The Hausa man and the Igala man share something in common, they draw a thick line when it comes to their women- they are perilously protective and possessive. No matter your closeness to these tribesmen, you have your limit when it dwells on their women. Perhaps defined by Islam and culture, these two tribes stand shoulder above the others in this regard.

In real Igala home, a wife has no business keeping a male friend beside her husband, same way she limits all kinds of interaction with the opposite sex. So defined that, she incurs the wrath of nature when she takes money from other men without the knowledge of her husband- in fact, she is expected to report any kind of amorous advances to her husband. Failure to do this, wreck in certain calamities that may be loss of her first male child or eventual death of the man.

The Hausa man builds a fortress of protection against likely spousal invaders- the reason you are welcomed with a bold screaming notice of ‘Baa Shiga’ in the home of the Hausa man. It’s so defined that a male family member of the wife is not even permitted access to his married sister’s house without the consent of her husband. Until now, grown-up male children are even barred from going into the rooms of their mothers. This is motivated by a mix of Islamic and traditional orientations of the Hausa man. He sees his wife as a pearl that must be covered by a shell. She is seen like the chocolate wrapped in protective wrapper and a sacred ornament to be admired and adored only by him.

Feminists had come so hard on these but it is what works for them, a summation of their own rights too.

So, it wasn’t much of a surprise to see the video of a pastor and a pregnant housewife in a deadly compromised situation. This is a trend and it is allowed in some parts of our society where married women are allowed to have besties, to go in private excursions to confide with their pastors and alfas, etc. All of these are not necessarily bad but the burden that comes with it. How many people are able to define the limit of privacy? The law of attraction says, ‘ you are naturally attracted to someone the day your path crosses, for, it takes affection to share your friendship with anyone. Like the fish and the cat, a man and a woman defined in friendship end most times intimately. I may be wrong but search again.

Barriers have been broken because of technological opportunities, today, people are more easily sexually attracted than before- today, people get romantically indulged on phones even before meeting physically. Even while some wives are housed in fortified walls, they still explore the immoral lane using their phones. For the women and men who still live by the tenet of fidelity, rest of the minds is their harvest.

Until boundaries are drawn between women and men who do not share matrimonial affinity, expect to have the depressing incidence of the pregnant married woman and her pastor in a compromising romp.

Sadly musing