The Societal Norm Surrounding Masculinity -By Anuna Jefferson Odafe

What makes a man a man? Is it the way he dresses? The way he walks? Or the way he talks? A man is judged by every one of these factors.

As a growing boy, he should have the right to behave in whatsoever way he chooses.

People nowadays have the wrong mindset of how a boy should act.

During my early years, I can recall how I liked to paint my nails, put on lipstick, and even go as far as wearing my sister’s wig.

But does that make me gay?

The Christian brethren would question how a young boy would act in society, let alone the Muslim folk. It would be taboo to have their male children act in such a manner. Religion aside, society has set specific gender roles for both males and females. By doing so it has pushed a lot of young boys and girls to cling to a so-called Queer lifestyle, they believe they should be able to socialize freely with the rest of the world, acceptance is what they desire and that’s why they shield their self with the umbrella of the queer community.

These days we know of the slang LGBTQ(Lesbian, Gay, bisexual, transgender, queer)which is now commonly used as a joke. Society is to be blamed for this. How can a young man be forced to dress in a particular manner, play with particular toys, and so on? This pushes young boys to something else, if being at first they fancied the way they behaved, should it not be their choice to decide on what they want to become? I would not want my readers to get me wrong, I am not in support of the queer community in any way. As stated in the Bible Leviticus 18verse22:Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.

Another norm in our society today is how a man should express his emotions.

As a man who says he can not cry when experiencing loss, grief, and pain?  It is so normal for a woman to shed as many tears as she feels fit but as a man, I have to put off a strong face. This is one of the reasons some men are having low self-esteem and how other men are always violent with their spouses or children. Perhaps if the norm wasn’t to suppress your true emotions a man would not think to hit his wife. But we see cases of abuse here and there and we wonder what went wrong.

Also, Is it so wrong for a man to wear pink? After all, it is just ”a color”.But society would see this as a step toward being gay.

To round off, let me shed a little light on the norm used the most in our society.

Which is non other than Billing.

Most Nigerians believe the male is supposed to take up the job of paying the bills. This is one of the silliest abnormalities. As a man, I should have the liberty of paying bills the way I see fit. It should not be what the world thinks a man should do. We have women who claim gender equality and yet they offload all the bills to the man because he is ”the man”. Isn’t that funny?

We have women who say ”I will not be with a man who does not have a car a house or a good job”. Meanwhile, they can not afford to pay their rent which is due.

These norms are what is turning the world into a marketplace, I urge all to lessen the burden of what and what, not a man is supposed to do or behave in society at large.

Anuna Jefferson Odafe writes from Lagos State University, Department of English Language.