The Wailing Souls of Nigeria -By Loretta Oduware Ogboro-Okor

The first time I watched her soulful cry, I remember I said to myself, this is a cry from the soul. Then I watched her again and each time, I felt a bit uneasy – but I never quite knew why. Then one day, I decided that this soulful cry would become my alarm…. looking back now, I could not at the time, explain why I made the choice but reflecting on it again, I have come to the realisation that it may have been because I found the deep cry very hurtful. So hurtful, that it left me unable to snooze my alarm and sleep a notch more any time it went off. Since she died, the hurt has intensified every morning. However, I am still unable to change my alarm tune – this time, my fear is that of “least I forget”. Yes. I have a deep-seated fear of the fear that I may become what many of my fellow Nigerians are. It appears we are a nation, where the majority of people have very short memories. Our recall abilities are stunted on individual, community, and national levels.

When Osinachi Nwachukwu died, Nigerians went vibrant, decrying all forms of domestic abuse. The many versions of the events leading up to her death are laced with domestic violence interwoven with multiple forms of abuse. Whether her death was a direct result of physical assault, or the by-product of holistic abuse remains to be ascertained as the proceedings are still on-going in court. What remains a constant is how our society sets the stage for abuse of all kinds and at all levels to be the norm and then forgets. Our tripod societal tools of choice to facilitate this constant are: “What will people say”, “It is well” and “Let God’s will be done”.

“What will people say” is the reason a lot of us will see fire and make ourselves the firewood. I am 36 years old and not married. The man or woman I am dating is displaying characteristics that do not tick my box nonetheless, I will manage him or her and must marry. If another year rolls by and I do not marry, … what will people say? I have a master’s degree. I am getting married, the cake is not 4 tiers, the venue is not a marquee, the wedding dress or suit is not designer, a cow has not lost its life and I am not feeding the multitude… what will people say? What will people say …my wife is working, and I have no job. I am a local government chairperson still living in my old house. I did not build a new mansion … what will people say? Will they not think that I am a foolish person?

“It is well” is synonymous with our long suffering and satisfaction with the status quo. This is very different from an understanding of delayed gratification and tenacity that is determined to change the status quo. “It is well” is why we neither deeply reflect for change at individual level nor interrogate our societal norms to institute positive interventions for change at national level. I am the lead chorister in my church or a deacon in the church and I am in an abusive marriage however, I should not speak up … “it is well”. My husband impregnated the house help. I have procured an abortion for the young girl and sent her packing. There is no need to speak up … “it is well”. I am a state Governor in Nigeria, the hospitals in my state are moribund and cannot save me if (God forbid) I collapse with a catastrophic brain bleed … “it is well”. I have no permanent voters’ card (PVC), I have never voted, yet I cry daily on WhatsApp groups, Facebook, and side discussions on the street that the government of the day is incompetent. There is no need for me to engage, beyond my mere ranting, complaining, and criticism of the democratic process of my nation because what will be will be. “It is well”.

“Let God’s will be done” is the greatest catalyst for forgetfulness from this tripod. You are a female Professor, and a young male student has come to complain to you that your colleague is sexually harassing him. He failed her course … what do you say to him? “Let God’s will be done”. A young child has died from bone marrow cancer after he/she has been treated repeatedly over three months for drug resistant malaria. The healthcare providers and the child’s family are chorusing “Let God’s will be done”. Our Ministers for transport have for many years diverted monies meant for road construction and repairs to their private projects and pockets. Multiple accidents happen on the roads as the drivers attempt to avoid potholes and swerve away from craters of flood killing many Nigerians. As we mourn, the clarion saying of “Let God’s will be done” is whispered. Like parrots, we repeat it, consoling ourselves while subconsciously willing ourselves to be numb and to forget.

Let me remind us, that God made us in His image and likeness. This means there is an integral piece of God in us all. So, each time we hide in complacency, behind letting God’s will be done, we are forgetting that there is God in us, and that God does not come down himself. He uses men and women to change situations and correct societal ills. It therefore means that when we flip the “let God’s will be done” around, it is us that can also agitate, take action, and let “God’s will not be done”. Now, the critical question is how do we differentiate, to know when God’s will should and should not be done? Since there is a piece of God in each of us, there should be no difficulty deciphering this – or should there? In my opinion, it is simple; whatever we do not wish done to us should not be done by us. Is leaving our roads untarred God’s will? Is turning a blind eye to sexual abuse by one’s colleague allowing God’s will to be done or man’s lust to be fulfilled? When the laws in our country to stem abuse and other criminal acts only exist on paper and are not enacted, is that God’s will being done?

Osinachi Nwachukwu is one of the many wailing souls of Nigeria who fade into oblivion after an initial period of un-sustained hullaballoo from us. As a people, collectively and individually, there are certain actions we must take for the positive evolution of our society. One such is a disruption of the tripod constant explained above – a complete deconstruction of all three to allow for a paradigm shift in our thought processes, so our long-term memory is ignited to swap our complacency for action.  Did I hear you ask; am I government? How do I do this? How do we not forget? The answer is simply illustrated by Rosa Parks – in reviewing her actions, we will find ourselves.

Think about the famous story of how the Montgomery Bus Boycott Movement in Alabama started when Rosa Parks refused to get off her seat as requested by the Bus conductor and allow the white people who were standing take her seat. For many years, the Black community in Montgomery complained that the situation was unfair however, there was no action on their part because without knowing, they somehow became numb and forgetful about the injustice and inhumanity they were subjected to. On that fateful day, Rosa Louise McCauley Parks could have said any of the tripod constant to herself on that bus: First, What will people say – they will say this “sabi-sabi” (overzealous) woman has come again as we would say in Nigerian parlance, “I beg I no fit shout”. Second, It is well – this law has been in place for ages, and we have been suffering this discrimination, but it is well, even in this deep well and the glaring racism, I, Rosa, will keep calm and pray that God liberates us. Third, Let God’s will be done – What can I do to this Bus conductor and his white cohorts? Nothing! So let me quietly get up from this seat and let God’s will be done.

Rosa Louise McCauley Parks, instead, chose to exercise the God in her and “make her will, that which was done”. She refused to get up and give up her seat even when the other 3 black men sat next to her got up from their seats. She made it clear that “it was not well” because she was tired of taking injustice lying low. She did not care “what people would say or call her” because she was determined to make the cry of all those before her heard. History is clear and kind to Rosa because she demystified the tripod and made sure society did not forget.

In my own small way, I have refused to forget the wailing souls of the many Osinachis that litter our national tapestry. For starters, my alarm will continue to be her soulful cry of “Ekwueme” every morning. Furthermore, I am hopeful that many will read this and reflect on how much disruption of the tripod constant they can cause individually and collectively, to stimulate, simulate and situate the Rosa Park rebuttal of the tripod – just so we do not forget.

Loretta Oduware Ogboro-Okor is Author of the book My Father’s Daughter