We Are Not A Well People -By Sesugh Akume

Days ago a friend narrated how he paid and applied for his transcripts from his UK school to be sent to a school in the US which was not only promptly sent, he was given a tracking mechanism to confirm its movement till arrival at the desired destination. Not done, he was given contacts to engage if he has any questions or concerns. He didn’t have any human interface with the university officials at all. None whatsoever. All communication was by email. You won’t get the import of this until you’ve applied for transcripts from a Nigerian university, it’s a horror and trauma people go through, and in the end, sometimes they aren’t sent, after paying, that is. Many have lost admissions on this account. See, we’re not a well people. The first step is to acknowledge and admit this.

An acquaintance just bagged a first class Bachelor of Laws degree but isn’t going to law school this time, why? She’s required to show evidence of passing a certain o‘level subject before she can be admitted for this vocational study of the law. She didn’t ‘suffer a deficiency’ in her o‘level results, she has a degree which didn’t require her taking Government as a subject decades ago. Pray tell, what does passing an o‘level subject got to do with the practice of being a lawyer, especially having gotten a degree in law? Nigeria. In the US and UK it’s possible to become a licenced lawyer without first having a degree in law.

Meanwhile, a sister and friend just got admitted to study law in the UK, in a reputable school at that. Believe it or not, but all that was required is her willingness, paying the required fee, and having English language proficiency. She didn’t file one single piece of paper or show evidence of any schooling at all. They don’t require any exams to test the English language proficiency, they called her on phone and spoke. That was it. All is clear, school starts later this year 5 October. In fact, she forwarded me a mail her school recently sent her about a certain opening if she’s interested. They’re already addressing her as a student and referencing her matric number!

Two days ago or so I read about this brilliant fellow who applied for a master’s in computer science in numerous Nigerian universities, both public and private, but none would as much as respond to his application. He also applied to National Open University of Nigeria, the only ones who had the decency to tell him why he wasn’t offered the admission. His crime was he studied online for the first degree, according to the NOUN officials Nigeria’s constitution doesn’t recognise online degrees. I’m sure they gave this asinine response verbally not in writing. This is a distance learning university itself, telling the graduate of another distance learning programme that their degree is invalid on account of the distance learning system being online. I would’ve thought the issue should be that his US university is diploma mill churning out unaccredited degrees, or that the computer science department in that school isn’t accredited. None of those. Consider that Nigerians had been earning valid, globally-recognised degrees by distance learning for ages before University College Ibadan was set up 7 decades ago. As usual, the irony is lost on them. Online is a problem in the 21st century.

This fellow went on to apply to the top schools in that discipline in Europe, was admitted and had to make a choice on which to attend. He chose one in Italy whose department must be one of the mostly highly rated in that area; did extremely well, had a scholarship to do further research in a UK school, returned to bag a distinction 110/110 in his masters, the best graduating student. Everyone was scrambling to have him across Europe, this February he settled to do his PhD in a Norwegian school where he’s a research scholar presently.

I repeat, we’re not a well people. Chances are you may think another is the problem, it’s easy to do so. Days ago a friend posted pictures of medical students in lab coats writing an exam in a lecture hall, and was wondering what exactly was going on there. Trust Nigerians, we’re masters at defending the indefensible and lending ‘logic’ to every shade of nonsense. So came all sorts of excuses and justifications. He said but that’s his alma mater, it wasn’t so when he trained there as a doctor decades ago, what’s the point making students go through that stress? Is anyone considering the biosafety issues around wearing lab coats around at all? But the saddest part for me was where he said, when they were younger and in school things weren’t this way, but they always thought they could be better. His colleagues in school then have grown in the system and are in charge now sadly they’re rather taking us backwards making things worse.

One overarching philosophy driving mediocrity in Nigeria is ‘If it can be MADE difficult, why ALLOW it be easy?’ Others are simplifying their every process and activity, opening up the space for everyone. We’re retrogressing, setting up road blocks, complicating things, and proud of it.
Look very well. The person in the mirror could be the problem but would rather think it’s another. Messed up jungle we’re in, no doubt, but what if on an individual level we each chose to brighten our little corners?