Community Grooming For Children And Teenagers -By Edwin Alivionote

The In- class grooming exercise at a College

The habit of grooming children solely by parents, have become the prevailing practice among families. The days when children and young adults are believed to be collectively owned had been lost to time. The children in some families are even grooming themselves by themselves since the parents are hardly available to parent them. The 21st century parents who are hardly available to cater for the emotional needs of their family are scarcely thinking of the impact of their priority thrust on the business life. Most often, the family is the collateral for job success.

Children I must say are sophisticated to groom by just the knowledge and wisdom of the both parents, the man and the woman may be experienced in child nurturing for all they know, and so much of the need to holistically develop a child is best accumulated from several sources than from the linear source of the parents. The biological parents of the child may note some areas of needs for the child based on their vantage point of view. The community parenting becomes necessary to help in other aspects that the parents cannot see, either because they are protective, emotionally attached to the child or because the child has outsmarted them in that regard.

Most often the parents are not willing to allow other adult members of society assist in the child care and grooming. The fear is that the treatment and handling from other persons on their child may not suit their desired treatment for the child. We now leave in a society where adults go about children’s misconducts with disregards. The fear of confrontation with the parents of a child or teenager makes everyone mind their business instead of fixing a noticed anomaly in the life of these growing members of society. Some kids and teenagers have understood this fear in the adult public and are quick to utilize same for their defence. The slightest interference in their affair receives the threat of reporting your assault to the parents. To add more fuel to their guts, the parents quickly run into their defence as a show of care and love for the child.

Really, what does love for a child or teenager really entail?

A child who was supposed to be learning in the class during schooling hours, is found wondering around the street and no one cares to ask what he/she is doing loitering around. A child walks up to you to beg for money and you feel it is cool to give such child money because you are loving and caring towards children. These little ones needs to be asked questions and guided, not responded to swiftly as they present their demands. The era has come when children are found controlling the adult based on their awareness of certain lapses and weaknesses in the nurturing mentality of the adult guardians. We should be aware that we are limited in our knowledge of how best to handle children and lease some space out for others to support our efforts.

The earlier we can stop being over protective of children and teenagers the better it will be for them to learn in real terms the core values that will help them survive well in a complex modern world. There is a natural system of balance in communal parenting such that the extended parent is quite aware of his/her limitations and will not be too quick to extend it. The fear many parents hold in supporting this system is the fear of abuse. The parents thus, have the space of 1-6years to nurture the child with the relevant family values that will make the child fit into the wider society with the right expectation and socialization. I have come across kids who are very good with greeting adults but refuse gifts from the same adults; this is training from the parents. Our children are like the computer, they can be programmed to adopt safe socialization with the public without hazards.