Addressing Misconceptions About Malala’s Statements -By Muhammed-Bello Buhari

Not holding brief for Malala. But I deem it necessary to address the misconceptions about her opinion on marriage which many finds it to be hypocritical. For ease of reference, below are her statements which many finds it to be contradictory and hypocritical.

— “I still don’t understand why people have to get married. If you want to have a person in your life, why do you have sign marriage papers, why can’t it just be a PARTNERSHIP?” [July, 2021]

— “Today marks a precious day in my life, Asser and I tied the knot to be PARTNERS for life.” [November, 2021]

I see nothing contradictory about the two statements. Her emphasis is on PARTNERSHIP in both of the statements. The many who finds it hypocritical are same people who restricts the idea of FEMINISM to some western culture or ideology of ‘same-sex marriage’ or celibacy.

I think, generally, believing in a world where women are treated with dignity and respect — and merely addressing gender inbalance is FEMINISM. It’s all about having respect for a woman and promoting the interest of women. Even though these interests varies across religions, cultures, traditions, and beliefs.

Nevertheless, going back to her statements — she never implied that she is against marriage per se or promoting the practice of celibacy, because if that’s the case, what purpose will “PARTNERSHIP” serve in her first statement? And if at all the first statement is misleading, what about the second statement — a reasonable person would’ve used “Asser and I tied the knot to be PARTNERS for life” to understand what she meant in initially.

From her first statement, one can simply deduce that she is against what the idea of ‘marriage’ connotes these days where women are treated unfairly, unequally, and most importantly as INFERIOR — but a union where the husband and wife are PARTNERS and non is superior or inferior to the other.

This is also inline with the teachings of Islam as a religion. Islam teaches that men and women are equal before God. It grants women divinely sanctioned inheritance, property, social and marriage rights, including the right to reject the terms of a proposal and to initiate divorce. The Qur’an makes it clear that the sole basis for superiority of any person over another is piety and righteousness not gender, color, or nationality.

Accordingly, men and women have equal social, legal and moral status as human beings, Islam differentiates between their status, roles and responsibilities in a union or in a family system, based on EQUITY and justice. However, the true spirit of role differentiation is often [or deliberately] misunderstood by non Muslims as well as by less informed Muslims [and even some of the informed] as establishing the patriarchal system which endorses gender INEQUALITY and discrimination against women.

Herein — the term ‘EQUITY’ is used instead of the common expression ‘EQUALITY’ which is sometimes mistakenly or deliberately understood to mean absolute equality in each and every detailed item of comparison rather than the overall equality.

There are many Qur’anic verses that support the idea of PARTNERSHIP in a marriage where both husband and wife have an equal voice on all decisions in the relationship OR simply, where both partners feel like they can influence one another and there’s a spirit of equality in the marriage. Amongst others are Qur’an 4:1, 7:189, 2:187 etc.

But nowadays, learning to live as partners or remembering marriage is a partnership is a huge problem for a lot of couples. And unfortunately, in our society today, a lot of times one partner (the husband, mostly) doesn’t share power. Instead, they suck up all the power and act as dictators in a union where they should be acting as mates; they consider women as some property and not as companions; they want women to worship them and not give them comfort. This makes the other partner (the wife) feel voiceless, powerless, and disrespected. But simply standing up against this injustice and un-Islamic practice is what many here consider to be hypocrisy.

We must be able to understand that not all Feminists or Human Rights activists promotes same-sex marriage. And as well, not all Feminists agitate for celibacy. Just like not all who practice Islam as a religion are Shi’ites or Sunni or of the Tijjaniyya sect etc Or like not all Christians are Protestants or Catholics. We must stop generalizing and accept the fact that individuals should be categorized based on what they do individually not based on our subjective generalization or categorization.

Simply promoting the interest of women [even though these interests varies] is Feminism. As for the Nobel Peace Prize Laurette, Malala Yousafzai, we all know what interests she promotes — she is an activist for female education. Some Feminists promotes female participation in politics and some promotes the participation of women in STEM. While some advocates for digital inclusion. Others simply advocates for access to equal opportunities.

I can boldly say that, “I am a FEMINIST”. I’m convinced that all human beings are created and born equal. And all should have access to equal opportunities.

And as a reasonable person — whether man or woman, Muslim or not — it’s our collective and individual responsibility to believe in a world where women are treated with dignity and respect. And the fact that the story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organisation but to the collective efforts of all and sundry who care about human rights.

Notwithstanding all the above points which are important, the key point is that worrying about who does more is the wrong focus. And in the final analysis, whether the debate is about housework, childcare, finances — instead of arguing about what is fair — instead focus should be on outdoing the other in generosity.

Malala is a living legend. So many girls and women needs her now more than ever. May she never relent nor be dissuaded or intimidated.

Dear Malala Yousafzai, so many counts on your actions and inactions. Please, keep doing MORE for humanity.

Be that as it may, I wish Malala a blessed and a happy married life with her husband. And as Allah (S.W.A) said in Qur’an 2:187 “They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…” May you be like garments to each other — being present, having each other’s back. May you spend quality time and fulfill each other’s rights as PARTNERS.

— Muhammed-Bello Buhari is write and a political & public affairs analyst. He writes from Kaduna and can be reached via embbuhari@gmail.com