Boys Are Not Stones -By John Chizoba Vincent

When I saw a picture of a woman abusing a young boy sexually, I remembered how boyhood hurts for many of us. How we were planted in the hands of abusers; loosed sisters and uncles. How our parents thought we were old enough to man ourselves, to find our ways; so they gave us weak freedom. They gave us freedom to our doom. The freedom that would kill us later in life. Those pains still remain part of me. The pains of those BoyChild endangered in the hand of Auntie Amaka. Those boys tampered like broken glasses and they were strong enough to hold their shattered bodies, thoughts, feelings, and emotions together without breaking, Without telling their parents because the society stereotyped them. The society foisted a heroic names on them.

I wonder why parents always thought we are stronger when the other part of us seek for help and support. I wonder why they take much consideration in keeping the GIRLCHILD together and forgot that boys like us are also vulnerable and weak. Our parents took time to teach girls how to sit properly. They taught them how to rebuke a man that touches their body anyhow especially their privates. They taught them how to avoid premarital sex. They taught them how not to go to that boy’s house alone but, the BoyChild is neglected in that hole of self-confidence. In the hole of controlling and defending himself. We forget that those boys have feelings and weaknesses too.

We sing more of those girls from paradise than the boys from the ghetto school of hard knock. Remember, we are part of the struggles. We face the same thing that girls face in the lonely room. Auntie Marie still stroke our dick in the darkroom and tells us not to tell anyone. Uncle still makes us make him cum. Auntie Uche still shows us the hole between her thighs and tell us to touch it. She still tells us to scratch her erect nipples. She still asks us to plant a kiss on her lips and make us spend hours touching her here and there and watch her groan in an unknown tune. we didn’t tell anyone because if we do, she won’t buy us that Chrismas shoes she promised us.

We should be careful whom we send our boys to. Whom our boys go visit alone. We should be careful with home teachers, pastors in the church, Sunday school teachers, and those we leave our boys with. The BOYCHILD is also prey to sisters in Christ. The priests and those people who we trusted with our lives. They are not stones. Boys are not stones, why neglect them to be abused by those loosed sisters?

Boys are being raped too. Boys are being brutalised too. They get abused by women old enough to be their mother but they keep quiet because no one would believe their stories. Because we believe more in the abuse of the girlchild than the boychild, why?

Why does the hyena only cry in the cave of the GIRLCHILD? Lest we forget, the BOYS are not stones. Parents should take a look into our matters too. Let’s relate this with a family that has a boy and a girl. In the family diagram, the girl is much considered in so many things than the boy even though the girl may be older than him. They believe he is a man and can take good care of himself without knowing that in as much as he is a boy, he has a plight weighing him down but he won’t talk because the society taught him that talking makes him weaker as a man. He won’t cry either because crying will reduce him as a man. So, he has learned to swallow more bones than his spit.

And no one would respect him if he says his mind. This is where society also offend the boychild. The society stereotyped him to think he is a superhero. Superman who can take care of himself. Many crazy things happen to boys. We go through severe pains. The government will hear of this and nothing will be done. No imprisonment, no suspension. The priests hurt them. The pastors abuse them, their mothers hit them and their sisters hurt them morally and the house help used them also but no one is saying anything about this. Is there no hope for these boys? People don’t really care about what happens to these innocent boys. We say words like this: “if anything happens to my daughter”. “Please take care of your sister”. “Protect your sister”. Then, what about the boys? We are like pastors who pray for others but hope unto God for their deepest success.

I think that the BOYCHILD should be given a voice to speak among his peers, a voice to listen to, a voice of expression. I think they should be given the chance to explain themselves. The right to see themselves in themselves. They shouldn’t be stereotyped, they should be taught how weak they are and not a superhuman. Boys you are not superhumans! take note. Let no one deceive you into believing that.

In as much as they invade into our territories and want to have us by all means, we should also defend ourselves. You know when the tale is told, the world will doubt us by saying ‘Women cannot rape or sexually assault a boy’. “how can a boy be raped by a woman? ” so, you have to defend your territories. This thing is increasing day by day. And many people can’t see that.

I actually observe that parents, especially mothers are just concerned about the girl child losing her virginity and getting pregnant and not worried about the BOYCHILD losing his too. They are not worried on that tale that the boy told them about Uncle Ricky removing his pant. They are not moved by the stories they told them about the father touching them here and there. Maybe they believed that he was praying for them or maybe that Sunday school teacher that took Benny to the toilet and told him how big his manhood was was right saying that. why do we shy away from telling our boys some things?

Lots of little boys are suffering silently in the street. They can’t say a thing about the dangers they face every day. Even if they speak out, who will believe them? How many people believe boys can be raped too or sexually abused on any occasion. Maybe you will understand better when an adult male opens up to you about the horrors of their childhood. This has been my thought and will also be my message, the consciousness I resound, we should try not to repeat society’s mistake, raising one and neglecting another in the name of manhood. don’t raise a girl and the boy because you think he bold enough to stand alone.