Burying The Dead: A Bad Good -By Emmanuel Ndubueze

Every situation comes with unique revelations and mind-blowing realities, mine was not any different. As paradoxical as my title may sound, it actually pictures the best image of the ugly experience I had as well as the lesson I want the world to learn. This piece, (written in tears and excruciating pain) is born out of a true (personal) life experience I never imagined and regret to tell, I thought it only happen in Nollywood movies or a make-believe. I do not write to exert pity from anyone instead to address this ugly inclination and cause a positive adjustment in the minds of many especially those who place the culture of ‘burying the dead’ above ‘saving a life’.

It is a sad story of how I lost my mother to the cold hands of death under the very watchful eyes of ‘loving relations’, ‘caring friends’ and ‘prayerful church members’. It is funny or rather inhuman that people can travel miles to attend burials and spend lavishly therewith but can neither trudge a walkway to see a sick neighbour or a relation nor spend at least frugally to save a dying soul or even feed a hungry fellow. Is this ugly trend peculiar to Nigeria or is it just in consonance with the Igbo idioms of inwe mmadu n’ozu (associating with people only at death) and ebere a na-emere ozu (ostentatious pity for the dead)? Whatever the case may be, both idioms depict hypocrisy, fake love, eye-service, etc. This may also be an answer to the age-long question as to why people live hopeless and helpless in abject poverty and die in the most miserable ways possible only to get a ‘befitting burial’.

I grew up learning about father Abraham and his scarcest type of faith. I have in turn strived to live in faith so much so that I have never lost faith in any situation irrespective of the degree of uncertainty. But for the first time in my two and half decades of existence I lost the faith as I watched daily my mother’s deteriorating health condition, strength also failed me. I was very confident that ‘this is what money can do’ had there been help from even one among the many persons we cried to.

At first, we were afraid of calling anyone for help knowing what everyone was passing through attributable to the National Lockdown occasioned by the outbreak of Coronavirus disease in the country. But then knowing that some persons were still well-heeled even at such a time and as the situation worsened we voiced out and disappointedly, no one could help save our mother’s life.

Everything in-between my mother passed on, my whole world came to a paralytic halt, I didn’t know what to think. The only thought and worry became how to convey her remains home for burial. I can’t even explain how we were able to raise over N70,000 within the space of three hours after my mother’s death. Meanwhile, we didn’t need that much to get her quality medical care as experts recommended. At a point, we needed just about N20,000 to get her through some recommended medical diagnosis and get a few medications. The same good people who couldn’t afford anything to help save her life saw the need to give her a ‘befitting burial’, shortly we got enough money to convey her remains home (Anambra) all the way from Lagos.

To my utmost astonishment, a ‘befitting burial’ was planned within the space of six days, all relevant Igbo burial customs were observed as it befits Nwada. I dare not mention the humongous amount of money and resources that went into this – all coming from the generous contributions of the same ‘loving relations’, ‘caring friends’, and ‘prayerful church members’ and other unpredicted sources.

Sadly, the summary of this long tale is that it is beginning to appear that burying the dead is now more important than saving lives. Again I wonder, ‘do people deliberately wait for folks to die so they can attend burial?’ I am sure even scavengers do not watch their kind die (without lending a helping hand) simply because they love to feast, why then humans? This misplacement of priority must end now because it is a BAD GOOD!