Contemporary Discourse of Experienced and Experiencing Abuse, Childhood Trauma in Nigeria -By Caleb Onah

What comes to mind when you think back to your childhood? For me, memories can be fun to look back on. It’s like smiling while listening to your famous Nigerian singer or artist, or like playing outside in the rain, it melts your heart to an extent you often want to listen or play again and again. However, not everyone has a childhood that is accompanied by a smile. Some remember their childhood memories, their faces darken and their hearts in despair.

Had a contact with an abused lady and how she felt in the situation, she said, “At about 8 years old, I was introduced to sex by abuse by our house maid, and he must have been in his late twenties then. I had gone to my dad’s house for the holidays as we lived apart from each other and they had this house help hired by my stepmom. Can’t actually remember the exact point of how it all started, but it happened repeatedly and he would threaten to kill me if I told anyone.

Somehow, I believed him and couldn’t tell anyone, but remember that I would cry whenever I was to be left alone with him at home. My family members probably thought I was just throwing childish tantrums.

All my crying kind of added to his pleasure as he would dip my head in-between his thighs to make me suck on his manhood. It was as if he had a built-up fantasy and eagerly wanted to experiment. He made me do all sorts afterwards, I later resigned myself to my fate with him because I was then too weak – emotionally and physically to fight, and it continued till the end of my 2 months holiday.

I remember the fears I had and the helplessness of my feelings was second to none at a sight of him. My peers and family members never suspected anything was wrong. Years later, I still shiver whenever I remember my helplessness. Well, this experience was like a forerunner to others that followed”.

This is one of many experiences of practical abuse in our Nigerian society and the girl child is already at a disadvantage more or less the boy. In Nigeria or growing up as a Nigerian, all kinds of violence and abuse are experienced daily and only very few of the many Nigerian children receive help when going through difficult mental health or unpleasant experiences. Out of 10, 7 forms of violence or abuse are experienced by children. 1 in 4 are girls and 10% of boys are victims of sexual violence and 70% of Nigeria’s 13.2 million out-of-school children are traumatised.

The causes of violence and abuse can be said to be rooted in societal norms, including violent discipline, violence against women, girls, and societal beliefs about witchcraft increases children’s vulnerability to constant abuse.

On the other hand, children from less precarious backgrounds suffer more from structural and cultural discrimination or are victims of domestic and sexual violence leading to traumas afterward. In addition to political representation, many underprivileged children do not have sufficient access to appropriate psycho-education and human rights support.

Lack of access to this education makes it difficult to access quality healthcare, sexual and reproductive health and rights (SRHR) education, employment, make informed decisions, and maintain stable family relationships, which increases the level of childhood trauma. For example, according to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), only about 46% of Nigerian married or cohabiting women between the ages of 15 and 49 make their own SRHR decisions, which isn’t worth living a healthy life. A number of Nigerian trauma survivors have identified emotional risk as another leading cause of traumatic experiences in Nigerian adults, which comes also as a result of emotional suppression/or segregation.

“Some of us adults have desires and dreams, and when we get the opportunity to fulfill our dreams, we rejoice but majority of the time we are scared and feel inadequate to go alone”, a survivor of sexual abuse noted during one of his mental health counselling session in March, 2023. However, some results of these traumas in Nigeria as we can see in our everyday interaction includes:

• Inability to establish or maintain satisfactory interpersonal relationshipswith friends and colleagues;
• Inability to act or respond that cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or physical factors;
• Behaviour or feelings that are not normally appropriate; a common general mood of sadness or depression;
• Tendency to develop physical symptoms of mental disorders or fears related to personal problems and hyperactivity (short attention span, impulsivity);
• Aggressive/self-injurious behaviour (acting out, always fighting);
• Learning disorders (academic results below grade level).

Besides, the suffering of many Nigerian children is appalling, hence in helping our children; threats to the survival and well-being of Nigerian children must be addressed as key national issue as they affect survival, potential of becoming future leaders of our nation as well as hinder economic growths.

Many people/children of which are victims of endless conflicts, lose parents and guardians, and many face difficult living conditions hence, should be given optimal psychosocial support in schools, churches, mosques or by extended family members.

These psychosocial interventions should be targeted at children, mostly the vulnerable, especially in areas and communities of violence, and need to be strengthened where few exist already. Additional livelihood, nutrition and child protection programs are therefore needed to address the current challenges facing many Nigerian children in mostly Northern Nigeria states to help carter for national security as well.

The future of children in “at-risk” areas which seem uncertain, with appropriate responses and joint collaboration by citizens, government and non-governmental organisations, positive results can be achieved in eliminating abuse, reducing the level of trauma and punishing offenders or culprits of all forms of abuse. Also, rapidly addressing the various conflict issues in different parts of Nigeria communities according to cultural norms and principles will help prevent impacts of trauma and other mental health challenges.

Caleb Onah

A Digital therapist, content and academic writer with over 6 years of hand-on counselling services to individuals and groups. His research and writing focus around healthcare, mental health and service delivery among adolescents, adults and the vulnerable. He has written for a couple of publications and he is a regular writer for Psychreg, United Kingdom.

calebandonah@gmail.com