National Issues
Death The Harbinger and Mortal Imperative -By Tony Osakpamwan Agbons
As painful as the exit of this unassuming personae is, invaluable life lessons are there to behold. Our lives are fleeting flames that can quench from the slightest touch by the wind of death. As we often see in obituary, the gap between our ages (date of birth – date of death) is an opportunity bestowed on mortals by the Almighty creator. We don’t own it. We really do not own it. Family, friends, and associates may pull stunts at the passing to Elysium of a mortal but the tributes to Charles are not make-believe. The words are painstakingly true and honest.
According to the Britannica encyclopaedia, Elysium in Greek mythology, was originally the paradise to which heroes on whom the gods conferred immortality were sent. The Elysian Plain was a land of perfect happiness at the end of the Earth. Elysium was a place for the blessed dead, and entrance was gained by a righteous life. For men and women of my age, let us put sentiments and emotions aside. How many years do you think we got left to live on this earth? Twenty? Thirty? Fourty? Fifty Sixty? Can it be less? Could it be more? Stop thinking and come to reality. None of us will be alive on this planet by December, 2121. That is one hundred years from now. Please let that sink in! Truth is, none of us will be here forever. Certainly not on this planet earth. So why all the hassles, envy, animosity, bitterness, I am better than you, you are not my class ego we carry about. Why all the animosity we have towards our fellow human being? Why all the pride and arrogance we carry about? In the now common Nigerian parlance, “Na who all these things don help?” The painful shocking call to Elysium of my childhood pal, Charles last week has once again shown me that the greatest asset and legacy we can bestow on humanity is the memory of the life we live.
Rewind to Thursday August 26th, 2021, when I put a phone call across to Charles. I haven’t heard from him for a while. We belong to the same Alumni Association WhatsApp group. He was one that often also checked on me when he didn’t hear from me. He didn’t pick the call and as I often do, I left him a text message. “Bros how are you? Good morning. Abeg try call me when you get free chance”. True to his nature, Charles got back to me later that day. His words, “Agbons, I nor well o, thanks for checking on me”. “Haaa; Charles O, very sorry to hear that my brother”. “Where you dey?”, I asked. “I dey hospital”. Our conversation continued and I rounded up saying a short prayer for him. This was after I sought his permission to inform the Vice Chairman of our alumni group, about his ill health. He obliged me. I informed the Vice Chair moments after I hung up. “VC, our guy, Charles nor well o. He’s in hospital in Lagos. Abeg try call am go see am”. “Ah! I will go and see him”, our VC responded.
Few days later, the VC got back to me, “Agbons, I went to see Charles. We talked and talked”. Days later, I phoned Charles again, and sent text messages which he replied. My next message to Charles was 9th October 2021 at 5;21pm. “Charles O, good evening. I just wanted to check on you. I tried calling”. His response to me at 1:59pm the next day was, “Thank you my brother, I am getting better. You can call me at any time and thanks for checking on me”. Little did I know it was our final mortal exchange on this terraqueous. The curtains of his terrestrial habitation were drawn on Friday night, 26th November 2021.
The life this young man lived was one of integrity and compassion for humanity. Such a charitable good soul. Going back memory lane, our Alumni group had planned a REUNION for April 2020. Preparations were in top gear in 2019. On 5th September 2019 at 6:54am, Charles sent me a text message, “Good morning bro. I want to pledge One hundred thousand naira for the Reunion program. I wish to remain anonymous. I will make payment before end of December 2019”. I was dumbfounded and replied, “Good morning bro. Wow thank you very much. God greatly reward your purse Sir. It will be kept anonymous and assigned a code”.
Fast forward December 7th, 2019, our General Secretary informed me that Charles has paid the money into our group account for the Reunion. Again, I sent these words, “Our alumni General Secretary just told me of your wonderful contribution to our reunion. God bless you immensely Sir”. In his usual simplistic style, the reply was, “Thank God Bro. How you dey na?”. What a man of integrity! What a man of gentle mien.
On another occasion, one of our men in the alumni group needed some support. He was looking for a new job. I contacted Charles. I knew he could use his contacts and network to assist. Fast forward the following week, the dude looking for a job called me to say himself and Charles spoke. Charles promised to help out. Now the joker. Charles has requested for his bank details and phew!!! a bank alert of one hundred thousand naira hit his mobile phone the next day. What a generous heart! They didn’t even meet face to face!!! Charles was a giver. He gave not because he had too much. He was purely angelic! Charles had begged him not to tell anyone. He however appealed to Charles to tell me since I connected them. I did put a call to Charles. He was laughing. “I tell this guy make him nor tell anybody oo. But no wahala, na you be Chairman and na you tell me about am. It’s ok”. A river of tributes is flowing from all corners, far and near eulogising our departed colleague not dammed by one negative word or comment. Many would say that traditionally, tributes would follow when people die often sweetened with words to make it palatable for those left behind to view their departed, however not in the instance of Charles, every word written was the true perception of Charles.
As painful as the exit of this unassuming personae is, invaluable life lessons are there to behold. Our lives are fleeting flames that can quench from the slightest touch by the wind of death. As we often see in obituary, the gap between our ages (date of birth – date of death) is an opportunity bestowed on mortals by the Almighty creator. We don’t own it. We really do not own it. Family, friends, and associates may pull stunts at the passing to Elysium of a mortal but the tributes to Charles are not make-believe. The words are painstakingly true and honest.
Suffice it to say that, while we remain ‘oxygenated’ on this earth, we must regularly check on one another. My alumni group has reiterated this. Never ever assume. A one or two minutes phone call goes a long way. As people check on you, it behoves on you to also check on others. Keeping this cyclical pattern going is sacrosanct to deepening our relational currency. Let’s stop `forming busy`. It doesn’t cost a fortune to check on another. I am glad I was able to check on Charles on 26th August 2021. I never knew he will be gone to Zion on 26th November 2021. For those of us who always have tight schedules, as excuses for not checking on family and friends, we must know it is untenable. It is time to come off that crap! (Apologies for my language). There will always be a weekend, an off day from work, public holiday, or annual leave. The excuses are smokescreen that justify our relational inertia.
In the final analysis, let everyone understand that value for life and relationships are a divine call. Let us be quick to celebrate one another at birthdays and other special occasions for that is the eternity that outlasts. Let us give no room for unending disputes and fights. Let us continuously filter our minds, bear no grudges, and hold no grudges. Death indeed is a harbinger that each mortal on planetary earth will embrace at some point. No ifs, no buts. May the Almighty God comfort the family you left behind Charles. May your kind good soul rest in perfect Elysium.
Dr Agbons writes from the United Kingdom
