In Pursuit of Happiness -By Seun Elere

Growing up in the village, whenever a community member passed away, the villagers would gather to dig the grave and take care of all the burial activities. I often went with my Dad to the gravesite during these times, and I always noticed something strange. No matter the age of the deceased, the people digging the grave would be laughing and chatting as though they weren’t affected by the loss at all. I was puzzled by this, so one day, I asked my Dad why they seemed so carefree when someone had just passed away, especially when the person had often left this world too soon.

My Dad looked at me, smiled, and said, “People must find a way to make themselves happy, no matter the situation.”

I didn’t fully understand this at the time, but as I grew older, it began to make more sense. My first real wake-up call came when my Dad passed away. I realized that no matter how much I cried, he wasn’t coming back. The grief was immense, but I had to learn to find a way to be happy again, despite the pain.

Over the years, I’ve faced several storms in life. There have been times when I felt like people expected me to mourn deeply, to sob and to wallow in my sadness. But I’ve always found a way to smile and carry on. I’ve learned that as long as we’re alive, challenges will come, and life can be a tough opponent. But the key is in how you respond. Even when life knocks you down, the real strength comes in getting back up, dusting yourself off, and choosing to be happy.

Those who have known me for years know that no matter how serious the meeting, I always find a way to bring some humor into it. I believe that even in the most serious moments, we must try to find joy because that’s how we get the best out of life and the situations we face.

Recently, at my late wife’s burial, a friend and colleague came to me and said, “You’re a strong man.” I smiled and replied, “There’s no such thing as a strong man.” What I didn’t say was that, no matter how much pain I felt and will continue to feel, I had to find a way to make myself happy. Yes, I cried—but my tears were not for the world to see. They were in the quiet of my room, in my private space. After that, I wiped my tears, picked myself up, and reminded myself to keep moving forward.

Happiness is a choice, and no one who remains sorrowful for too long can truly grow or rise in life. Constant sadness is a form of ingratitude to the Almighty.

No matter what you’re facing today, always find a way to make yourself happy. The storms will pass, and you’ll find strength in your ability to keep choosing joy.

Seun Elere, PhD