Inadvisability Of Son Preference And Daughter Neglect In Nigeria -By Sandra Ijeoma Okoye

To say that spousal challenge which women are faced with are numerous cannot in anyway be pooh-poohed as its obviousness is crystal clear. It is so obvious to the extent that a telecommunication company years back leveraged on the advertising advantages that are inherent in it to create a television commercial aptly tagged ‘Mama na boy’ to promote its product. In the television commercial by the mobile telecommunication company, a man telephoned his mother in the village to tell her of his wife’s delivery of a baby boy. The excitement sparked off by the good news conveyed by the birth of the baby-boy was crystal clear from his body language. The commercial unarguably depicted the predominant favoritism accorded to the birth of male child in the traditional Nigerian society.

Dispassionately interpreted, the advert depicts the fact that not few Nigerians traditionally detest the arrival of a baby-girl into the family. Aptly put, it portrays the fact that parents and in-laws in this part of the world do not place value on the worth of a female child.

Without resort to overstate the fact in this perspective, preference for baby-boy in most households or rather communities still prevails, even among the educated and those that ought to have being in a position of enlightening a huge gamut of the population that are ignorant of the significance of the baby-girl, especially when educated, trained and empowered. In most nuclear families, not having a baby-boy suggests not having an ideal family setting as belief demands in most communities. When a woman is delivered of a baby, rather than ask after the mother’s health, the question that is usually asked is, “Wetin she born, boy or girl”?

In fact the jubilation that trails the arrival of a baby-boy into the family of newly married couple knows no bound as relatives from both families affiliated to the marriage see the couple as being miraculously blessed by God as if it would have being a curse if the baby were to be a girl. To Nigerian folks, the birth of a baby boy-signifies a bundle of joy, without prioritizing on thanking God for safe delivery as the mother carried the pregnancy for 9 months until delivery of the baby.

To come to grip with how baby-boy is valued, the press once reported a story that had it that a woman somewhere within Edo State alleged that her husband and in-laws were so infuriated when she delivered a baby girl, who came 10 years after marriage, thus culminated in torturing the mother physically, locking her in a room without electricity and food as if she is God that determine the sex of a baby.

In some cases, lecherous men take advantage of their wives’ helplessness to birth a baby-boy to marry a second wife as if the woman has power to determine the gender of baby that should be given birth to. Some go as far as going for a third wife all in the name of searching for baby-boy.

Not only that, instances abound where a woman that does not have a baby-boy for her late husband is together with her baby-girls denied the inheritances they struggled with husband and father to build and acquire. If this is a culture or tradition, or whatever they decide to call it from sociological standpoint, it is retrogressive from whichever way it is analyzed from.

In fact, there was also a situation where a woman that did not deliver baby-boy to ostensibly appease her husband and in-laws was abandoned at the hospital after her sixth child turned out to be female. The husband wanted a baby-boy as demonstrated by his body language. In a similar vein, instance where a woman become forlorn and depressed due to the results obtained from the Scan that the baby been expected would be baby-girl exists.

At this juncture, permit me to say that it is ridiculous to be seeing baby-girls as unwanted in the world, for crying out loud. It is unarguably a ridiculous comparison. To put it brusquely, boys are not more important than girls. Without either one we could not further the human race. Men have always been the risk takers in history but women are the stabilizers of the human race. Without them, there would be no human race. Research shows that while men and women often have different skills they are of equal intelligence and just as many women are leaders and rulers. Before you pooh-pooh the foregoing view, go and ask Dr. Okonjo Iweala and not fewer than six female managing directors that are breaking glass ceilings in Nigerian banking sector, then you will appreciate the value of the girl-child.

Again, it is expedient to say that our forefathers’ preference for a male child is quite understandable. Besides propagating the family lineage, they needed male warriors during war to defend their communities. They wanted strong hands on the farm as the size and produce from a man’s farm determines his social standing in those ancient days.

If I may ask, does the increasing rate at which wives are murdered by their husbands in the recent time in any way suggests that having male children is the ultimate symbol of a happy marriage? Are female child not growing up to become useful in the society?

At this juncture, it is expedient to say that gender discrimination starts from embryonic stage as can be deduced from the motives behind many a mother running helter-skelter to any laboratory in sight in order to through scan determine the sex or rather the gender of the baby been expected. If I may ask, “What is gender discrimination?” The answer is not farfetched as it is any unequal treatment, including privilege and priority, on the basis of gender.

It is discrimination on the basis of sex or gender causing one sex or gender to be routinely privileged or prioritized over another. To add to the foregoing, it is a fundamental human right and that right is violated by gender based discrimination. Gender disparity starts in childhood and are right now limiting the lifelong potential of children around the world, and disproportionately affecting girls.