No Perfect formula in marriage -By Ezih Dominic

Traditional marriage in Akwa Ibom

The Encarta dictionaries states that marriage is defined as a married relationship between two people or somebody’s relationship with his or her spouse. This is the ideal definition known by a vast majority of people as the definition of marriage. Marriage is a blessing to the society, because this is where the first unit of the society is formed. But, there has been a major canker in most marriages. This is as a result of the wrong foundation most marriages have been built upon, thus, most marriages end up not lasting long enough to nurture the first unit of the society.

Most couples have been looking for the perfect formula to make their marriage a worthwhile and such that the marriage could last long, thus, they end up taking the formula of another couple and inculcating it into their marriage. The major mistake here is that they inculcate formulas that cannot make their marriage work, simply put, they copy what is not needed into their marriages. This should not be the case. Take for instance you have couple A and coupe B. Couple A is having an ideal marriage and everything is going as planned, while couple B is not having the ideal marriage they wish for themselves. Everything is not going as planned for couple B. So, couple B decides to inculcate all what they see in couple A, so that they can be like them. But they copied all they could from couple A and still they are not having that ideal marriage they wished for themselves. This is the mistake most couples make. They look elsewhere and copy what is not needed into their marriage. At the end, they end up complicating their marriage. No marriage has the perfect formula. In fact, every marriage has that unique factor that binds them and strengthens them, but it is left on both parties to look out for that essential ingredient that will make them have the ideal marriage they desire.

If you need that perfect formula in marriage it should be love. Love is an essential element in any marriage. Without love that marriage will definitely crumble. With love, other elements in the marriage will be noticed and that ideal formula needed in a particular marriage will be brought out. Love will make you realise if what is needed in your marriage is communication, companionship, submission, humility, respect, obedience, prudence in spending, concern for the other, belief in the other etc. If there is no love, all these elements will not exist and couples looking for that ideal marriage will never get what they want.

The summation here is that looking at other marriage or marriages and comparing it with yours is not the ideal, because every marriage is like a football team that has their unique formation plan to follow. If this formation plan is faulty, you look for another, until you get the desired result you wish for your marriage. No marriage has it all. It is only a matter of looking inward and not outward and discovering the unique element that will spice up your marriage.