Sex Education; Parents Responsibility, Not The Media -By Abdulazeez Alhassan

Children are the most valuable assets in human life. They are active, dynamic and enthusiastic people who want to know what they see, hear and feel. The puberty stage changes their life. At that time, they will be curious about the changes in their body. They may be sexually harassed, open to domestic violence and intimidation. In this sense, there is need for a child to be guided, nurtured, honed, cared for, and counselled by his parents and teachers.

Islamically, sex education is more broadly understood as a set of wise rules that children/adult can use to protect themselves from the unacceptable such as adultery, masturbation, fornication, deviant sex, among others. It tends to explain the ethics, morals, religion, social and other knowledge needed by someone to be able to understand themselves as sexual beings. More so, Islam has set some rules guiding the association between men and women.

Humans as sexual beings have a fundamental need to continue regeneration. Since’ birth, humans have sex drive in themselves. Allah says in surah-Arrum, verse 21. “In the process of life, humans have had sexual desires from birth”. Children will experience stages of sexual maturity when they are in their early teens. They will experience hormonal changes that affect physical changes. This change is a stage that can not be denied to occur in every child before adolescence. So, parents should educate their children on the basic education of sex. A child should receive his first knowledge from his home, because the child is like a white cloth being shaped by his family.

Sex education in the western world is often associated with the understanding of sexual relationships between men and women to meet the needs of sex and regeneration. Several researches on sex education, ranging from the western countries, Asia, and some parts of Africa, have revealed that students in secondary schools, colleges, and tertiary institutions are more likely to be active in sex. So, there is need for them to be educated on sex. Schools in Africa, precisely Nigeria teach subjects like Biology which discusses some topics that are related to sex education, such as puberty stage, reproduction, sex organs, unwanted pregnancies, among others. But this is not enough to educate our younger ones on sex, owing to the fact that most of our younger ones are innocent and are at high risk of sexual harassment by disgruntle persons out there.

In the western countries, particularly America, it is believed that sex education has helped in reducing unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of diseases. Most of the Americans adhere closely to the Judeo-christian inheritance on human dignity, marriage, and often see sexuality as inseparable from this context. Sex is directed, and indeed limited to marriage. For them, sex education is directed only to mechanics-how to avoid the transmission of disease and pregnancy. And if it occurs, how to deal with it effectively. They also believe that human beings should not seek merely the inviting or pleasurable, which at the same time loses human dignity to the winds. Thus construed and misconstrued, sex ed norms cause personal harm, broken relationships and a jaded society at large. Jonathan Zimmerman notes that ” adolescents get most of their sexual ideas from the mass media”, while the reverse is the case in the US. Hence, parents and teachers overwhelmingly support sex education on a broad range of topics in American schools. In fact, adolescents in the US consistently cite their parents-not the media-as the most influence on their decisions about sex and relationship. This vividly points out that if parents eschew from educating their children on sex education, then the social media is there ready to help them, a situation which might not be favourable to them.

Parents and teachers should Instill a culture of shyness in children as early as possible. Children should be taught that Allah has ordered the keeping of aurat (parts of the female body not to be exposed) as a form of glory for Muslim women, as in the Qur’an surah- Annur, verse 31. More so, children(boys and girls) should not be allowed sleeping on the same bed, especially when they reach age 10. Parents should also teach their children that the spirit of masculinity is only to male while feminity to female. The prophet PBUH forbade men to resemble women and women to resemble men. Resemblance can be in manner of speaking, dressing, behaving and make ups. Similarly, parents should introduce the term “non-muharram” to their children, they should know that they are not allowed to expose themselves to illegitimate people (non-muharram). In addition, children (boys and girls) should be advised not to mingle freely without social etiquette, as well as not to seclude in a quiet place without caring about others.

More so, children should be educated on wet dreams experienced by boys as a sign of maturity. For girls, they often experience menstruation as a sign of maturity. In the tradition of Islamic law, children who have reached that stage are called “baaligh”.

In conclusion, the need for sex education is pertinent and imperative in this 21st century, for it has brought globalisation to our fore; such that children are exposed to internet, child abuse,  electronic gadgets and social media sexual harrasment which easily breed the moral decadence we experience today amongst the youths.  They lure the children and demean their parents' reputation as they result in unwanted pregnancies and depression. African countries, particularly Nigeria, should embrace sex education as subjects in Post-basic schools, Colleges and Tertiary institutions. Parents and teachers should do their best in educating their children on sex education. Topics like 'what children need to know about healthy relationships and the role of sex, puberty stage, sex organs, what hymen really is, contraception and proper use of contraceptive techniques, don't have sex to prove anything to anyone should be taught. This will really help the children to avoid being sexually harassed in schools, homes, markets, worship centers, etc.

Abdulazeez Alhassan is the President, Universal Writers and Authors, and can be reached through axeexx67@gmail.com