Malami's Agent, Yari Doctrine, Adoke Deadlock, And The Minister Of NCC -By Simon Kolawole

MALAMI’S AGENTS

President Muhammadu Buhari has, thankfully, upturned the decision of Mallam Abubakar Malami, Nigeria’s attorney-general, to engage consultants to demand an estimated $43 billion debt — being the backlog of Nigeria’s share from production sharing contracts since 2008 — from oil companies. The consultants were to pocket about $2.15 billion — or 5% — as commission.  Malami, however, thinks we should be grateful to him: he alleged that previous governments gave 30% commission. Very kind of you, Honourable Minister, but this is a job that should be done by the Department of Petroleum Resources and FIRS without collecting commission, not even 0.00001%. Regards.

THE YARI DOCTRINE

Do you still remember Alhaji Abdulaziz Yari, the great Zamfara governor-cum-scientist who discovered the link between fornication and meningitis? When meningitis killed hundreds of Zamfara citizens under his watch, he amazingly discovered that a virus called “fornication” caused the epidemic. He is back in the news after his exit from office. Despite pocketing N300 million as severance pay, he is miffed at the non-payment of his monthly N10 million “maintenance” token in a state that cannot pay the N30,000 minimum wage. I’m sure Zamfara citizens now know that fornication does not pay. Greed is more rewarding. Shikena!

ADOKE DEADLOCK

Mr Mohammed Bello Adoke, Nigeria’s former attorney-general, was recently arrested by Interpol in Dubai, UAE, based on a warrant of arrest issued by a Nigerian court. However, the warrant had been vacated by the court since October but the Nigerian government did not inform Interpol. Now, for Adoke to be released, Interpol wants the government to attest to the vacating order. Pardon my stupidity, but how can Interpol expect such attestation from the same government that wanted to arrest Adoke since 2015? Seriously? Am I missing something? If his case is political, as Adoke has been claiming all along, Interpol will have to wait till eternity for the attestation. Stalemate.

MINISTER OF NCC

I know Sheikh Isa Ali Ibrahim Pantami is the minister of communications and digital economy but, from the look of things, he would rather be the executive vice-chairman of the Nigerian Communication Commission (NCC). The way he has been dishing out instructions and orders to the telecom regulator is unprecedented. His admirers may be happy with his populist pronouncements that lack any scientific or economic basis, but they have to hope that he won’t wake up one day and give an order that will end up sinking the entire industry. He may also need a crash course on the difference between a regulator and a ministry. Usurpation.