Divorce: 3 Powerful Ways To Save Your Marriage or Build a Happy Marriage and Avoid a Divorce -By Ilyas Hameedat

Am I taking the right step? Should I try a reconciliation?

A lot of unanswered questions ran through her mind. She was still in thought when she felt a light tap on her shoulder and she jerked.

Hello Madam, you’ve been standing here since, hope no problem? Queried a concerned passer-by.

Oh! No, there’s no problem, thanks, replied Mrs Tammy with a fake smile.

That’s when she remembered where she was, and felt embarrassed. What could be the problem that made her forgot herself standing?

Mrs Tammy, a 35 years old housewife with two kids, was having issues with her marriage. She believed her husband, Mr Mark, was no longer performing his roles as husband.

After giving it a thought, she opted for divorce. She was on her way to meet her lawyer when she saw a young couple having a nice time together, and that’s why she’s in dilemma; could my marriage also be like this? She asked herself.

Are you also in Mrs Tammy’s shoe, or you think your marriage is heading towards that direction?

If yes, then these three powerful ways are for you.

¶ Communication:

A relationship without proper communication is heading to highway already. Your spouse should be your gist partner, adviser, and confidant.

The first thing to do is to understand what type of communication your spouse wants.

Judge Lynn Toler, in one of her divorce cases, said, “the less I say, the more my husband hears.”

If your spouse is like that, then you shouldn’t turn yourself to a parrot.

Talk to your spouse about his/her changes in behavior. Assumption has no business with your marriage except to destroy it; challenge your spouse about it, and listen to his/her response. Beware of suspicion!

¶ Counseling:

If you fear you can’t still handle it all alone, then you can consult licensed therapist, marriage and family therapist; it can involve only you or both of you. It is to strengthen your partnership and gain a better understanding of each other.

Marriage counseling helps with marital issues like communication problems, sexual difficulties; conflicts about child rearing or blended families, substance abuse; anger, and infidelity.

You should check whether the therapist would be fit for you, or you and your spouse if it involves both of you, before any appointment.

Some questions you can ask include education and experience, logistics; treatment plan, and fees and insurance.

¶ Separation:

Separation and divorce are two different terms; separation does not mean divorce, but divorce does.

Separation is just a time of forgiveness and renewed commitment, but it should be for three months, and there should be no form of intimacy.

This is the period to sacrifice a lot for your marriage. Check yourself and look for where the problem lies; when you find it, try and make adjustment. Commit yourself only to your marriage during this period.

The next is to think about your offspring because your decision will affect them the most. Divorce will only destroy your children, physically and emotionally.

Research has it that children from divorced homes are most subjected to molestation, lack of self-confidence, and difficulties in choosing a lifetime partner/finding their better half.

Divorce is not the only way out to marriage troubles. Make sure you try all of these ways before you make that decision; it may take time, but remember slow and steady wins the race.

I wish you the best in your marriage.