Gamophobia And Anuptaphobia On A Collision Course? -By Isaac Asabor

Having read an article that I authored and published on the online platform of opinionnigeria newspaper, a professional colleague called me on phone urging me to do a follow-up article on those who rushed into marriage; even when they are not in the least loved by their chosen partners. For the sake of clarity, the title of the article which is still presently trending online is: “Who Wants to Remain a Gamophobic?”

I instantly assured him that I will write the article in line with his request. As common sense told me, I knew he wants me to write the article ostensibly to serve as a consolatory purpose since he is a Gamophobic in every sense of the word.

Against the foregoing backdrop, it is expedient to say that while some persons are afraid of getting married on account of suffering from Gamophobia, some persons on the other hand are concerned that they will never get married, and as such marry anyone that comes their way. These ones are no doubt suffering from Anuptaphobia.

Reiteratively put, concerning anyone that marries whoever comes to his or her way, there is no denying the fact that such person is suffering from Anuptaphobia, which is the fear of staying single or the fear of remaining unmarried in his or her entire life. So, he or she is desperate to get married.

In as much as Gamophobic person may remain “happily unmarried” in his or her entire lifetime, Anuptaphobic person on the other hand, in his or her frantic desperation to get married, usually end up getting married to the wrong person since he or she is desperate or in a hurry to get married. An Anuptaphobic person may choose a partner on his or her whim without considering the consequences.

Without any iota of exaggeration, these categories of people abound in the society, and unfortunately, not many people know what they are suffering from.

In as much as being Gamophobic is condemnable, marriage, no doubt, is not as simple as saying “I do,” it requires effort, time, and commitment. The need for rushing into marriage before one’s educational career is completed as an Anuptaphobia would do is equally condemnable as it will in the long run lead to an inevitable downfall and heartbreak.

There is no denying the fact that marrying at a relatively young age is no more in vogue except for those born into affluent families. To those who are born into average families, the vogue has decreased significantly since Nigeria began to experience economic hardship over the years. It still remains to be a prominent option for the young generations. With the constant pressures from social media, family, friends, and society, rushing into marriage may seem attractive, however, it has never been the best decision to take.

Marriage may seem appealing to those who see it as a big achievement, however, observation over the years others have shown that the earlier one marries, the more likely for divorce.

Young people are looking for their “soul mates” or for a glorified version of what marriage might be, but many fail to realize that marriage is a complicated journey and commitment made to symbolize forever. It is not a game or a financial stability guarantee. Marriage is a genuine act of love that deserves respect.

Unfortunately, for those who succumb to these shallow commitments, securing that stability is not enough of a reason to rush into the process of marriage. The lack of life experience and trying to make mature decisions might lead to conflict and a realization that marriage might have not been the best option for a stable future.

With little life experience, the future can be uncertain. Unemployment and unpalatable economic milieu can be some factors that might strain relationships. Waiting to consider marriage until the late twenties or early thirties allows time for a person to gain the independent stability and sufficient emotional maturity needed to be in a long-term committed relationship.

Millennials are waiting to have children for the same reasons they are waiting to get married: stability and finding the right one. In fact, being a young adult is a time to explore experiences that might never arise again. It can be shared with a significant order, but it should not be plagued by the pressure of marriage and children.

New jobs and business opportunities, promotions, moving, college, and other hardships might be necessary in order to realize what you want out of life. Marriage can put your life on hold, or only make things more complicated. Engaging oneself in marriage as an experienced person might even make it harder.

The young ones should avoid the possibility of marrying young but not late. The option of marriage will still be there in a few years. The concept of rushing such a significant component of adulthood needs to stop for the betterment of everyone involved.

Young ones fall within the prime age of young adult that settle down too fast. They should worry about getting their degree, not the size of a ring.

At this juncture, it is expedient to ask “Between Gamophobia and Anuptaphobia, which marriage phobia is more shattering?” It cannot convincingly be answered as both of them have their individual advantages and disadvantages.
Without any scintilla of hyperbole, both fears or rather phobias that are related to marriage are condemnable from all sides of their manifestations as they are not healthy when looked at from psychological perspective. They are challenges that need to be boldly confronted.