Jesus And Me -By Rev. Father Oluoma

JESUS: “How happy are you who are poor:yours is the
kingdom of God” LK 6:20

ME: hmmmm, Lord no vex o, this kind message doesn’t trend
in Nigeria o.

JESUS: it doesn’t matter whether it trends or not, you must
preach it.

ME: Seriously Lord, you may not understand, but permit me to tell you a funny joke that might help. According to one 9ja comedian, Obasanjo and Oshiomhole were in church one day when the pastor said: “turn to the person sitting by your side and say neighbour you are beautiful or handsome, you look good. Obj turned and saw Oshiomhole, looked at him three times, laughed and went to the pastor and said to the man of God,’ pastor, come and tell him by yourself, i don’t want to lie in church’.

JESUS: so what are you saying in essence?

ME: my Lord, Goodnews for Nigerians are ‘ poverty is not your portion, you will make it by fire by force, receive the anointing for generational wealth, every spirit of poverty die by fire, God will establish you in mega wealth, poverty is a curse and i release you from that curse now in the name of Jesus Christ, rapapapamotomotoshandalosa.

JESUS: what kind of gospel is that?

ME: It is the kind made in Nigeria for Nigerians. its the kind that attracts numbers to a church or ministry, it is the kind our people love to hear.

JESUS: i and my apostles never preached that kind of Gospel, i didnt even inspire the writing of such gospel

ME: Sir, in 9ja it doesnt matter what you preached, the preachers of such gospel use your name and your scripture to preach them, and they are making it big. they are flourishing in wealth and fame, in fact they are larger than life. Some go further with: IF YOU ARE SUFFERING CHECK YOUR OFFERING, IF YOU DON’T PAY YOUR TITHE THINGS WILL BE TIGHT, SOW SEED AND SEE SIGNS.

JESUS: Things have changed

ME: yes o, ah this wasn’t your time when you rode to Jerusalem on a donkey and they hailed you like king. today ‘men of God’ roll in Rolls Royce and walk on red carpet. We fly to Jerusalem on jets. everything has changed, so that your gospel of ‘blessed are the poor for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ has been updated to suit our time. it now means ‘poverty is not my portion’ and its variants. The ministers that preach your version are regarded as old fashioned, uninspiring, unanointed and powerless.

JESUS: Well, the gospel never changes to suit people’s cravings. The gospel wasn’t given to make people rich or famous or solve their problems, it was given for salvation. I wasn’t rich, John the Baptist wasn’t, the apostles weren’t.

ME: Trust me when i say these people don’t want to see those facts. You may have to look for another Virgin and enter her womb and be born again, then preach like you did, try to go to every country, select your apostles, only this time they may be more than 12. my fear is that the Judases will not betray you this time, they will just kidnap you and be demanding for ransome upandan

JESUS: Get serious please. my second coming will not be to die again. However, before then, you must preach the goodnews, welcomed or not, insist on it. Don’t think that rejection of the true gospel is peculiar to your generation. i too had it in JOHN 6. When i multiplied loaves and fish to feed them, the multitude were ready to even make me king by force, the moment i preached the gospel of eternal life through the holy Eucharist, everybody left. yes, people rush to where they are promised miracles and would always prefer preaching that feeds them with such gospels. This tendency shouldn’t stop the preaching of the true gospel. so, you go and preach it.
ME: Chai, Lord you no want make i buy private jet be that, issorite, wetin man go do.
BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN SPIRIT FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF GOD. BLESSED ARE THE POOR FOR THE KINGDOM IS THEIRS.

Una hear am?
make i escort Jesus to junction where him go find taxi biko, i dey come