Not My Type; Looking For Perfect -By Shem Godwins

All relationships are emotionally abusive. The good thing about relationships is that in the end we forget how they started. It reaches a point where you get pissed off that all that your heart laments for is freedom. The sweet and motivating agonies that transcribe lyrical dirges in your heart gives your eyes a view of a mythical world of possibilities-from the disappointments of love. These are the days when people define better based on their unfortunate experience from the relationships they want to quit, oblivious of the deceptive options.
Flashback.

My nerves were so sharp and itching in melodies of pain when I met Bella, my present love. Mine wasn’t a heartbreak but a massacre. Yes, my emotions had been squeezed in a chimney and set on fire after letting my ego drive me in and out of relationships as I tried to find the perfect partner. And, there she was with a smile that offered a stability and sanity, a soothing bomb to my hell scorched soul. The first time my arms held her, I made her my favorite person and wished we could stay a thousand years then die at exact same time, to let our souls find each other on the other side soon after and fall in love again. I never realized then I shouldn’t have, but I started to believe she was my life. I trusted her and gave up on all other connections. They say beauty sings. Hers took my heart and chained it in her romantic dungeon, but love is like a football match, substitution is lurking.

Fast forward, my view is based on my experiences from my first and subsequent relationships. I believe that the main cause of break ups is infidelity. There follows a passive aggressive behavior or personality from the partner that feels betrayed giving them a hard time on deciding, especially after experiencing frustration, anger and sometimes conscious or unconscious depression, which might eventually push one to commit suicide or murder. It is always traumatizing trying to comprehend what is going on that resulted to a rejection and betrayal but after a chain of thoughts, disintegration of the relationship becomes a top option.

All is always an illusion and people always try fighting their own rejection of truth by opting out believing if they find a someone, they’ll punish the offender. What if people would always sit and talk?

Walking away will never solve a relationship problem. From what I have experienced, it is just like changing glasses of a window, which in turn only provides a different view with the same structures. All relationships go through hell, but real ones get through it. Allowing assumptions into your relationship is like tolerating an invasion of termites into your wooden house believing it happens to every house, and that you will eventually respond like others did. My point is, no one is perfect. It is good women realized all men are the same. If so, why the heck would they walk out only to settle for another man, creating a sequence of men in their lives and eventually end unmarried, in some cases, with children from different men? Or what is the point of a man changing women when they have clearly acknowledged the wickedness of all women? Pride and arrogance should never be allowed in a relationship. A relationship that does not face physical aggression or violence in my case, should never end. People always come back to their ex-lovers after realizing that they just missed to understand a reaction, in which case could have been solved by seating down and refreshing on the similar efforts that both used to win and keep one another. What a waste of time!

It is not always easy to let go. Yes, I therefore feel people should always bank on the moments of their relationship rather than situations in order to fight. Starting over is never easy. Imagine building up trust from the suspicions of a previous betrayal. A waste of time and self-worth. This only intensifies bitterness, breeding a beast of a person who will always find happiness on vengeance as a way to veil their fear of committing to a relationship. A relationship is an avenue of two people. Stop looking for expert opinions and solve your issues as a couple. Be open, free and always willing to express politely, what you feel is not right. Moving from one relationship to the next is out fashioned. You loved, has loved and can still find reasons to continue loving. Let us not be too much expectant to the extent of finding easy ways of responding to our problems. To make it short, I have learned the importance of making things right a million times, with the same person all the time. I t is always safe around the devil you know than with the imposter of an angel from the darkest corners of hell.