Social Media Is Not The Messiah! -By Chukwuneta Oby

I followed the story of the young man that went on a sharing spree of the nude pictures of his erstwhile lovers, recently.

On matters of this nature, I will always address the women (whose shoes I can afford to imagine myself in).

According to his victims (widows and single mothers), they met him on Facebook and WhatsApp chat groups for singles.

One said that he was spoiling her silly with money and gifts until things went awry between them.

Apparently, while he was spoiling them silly, he was also being tantalised with their nude pictures, which eventually became a weapon in his hands against them.

Despite paying back (through blackmail) all he spent on them, he still shared their nude pictures on social media.

One of his victims said she attempted to commit suicide twice!

Once money is involved, most women become blind to even the most glaring signs of a mentally unstable man.

I acknowledge the hardship of the times and the desperation for economic survival. But a woman who loves herself and her peace of mind knows that the best thing she can do for herself these days is not belonging to every social media platform in search of love, but pouring all that energy into becoming empowered.

It is when you can put food on your table and pay your bills that you can afford to diligently assess a potential lover. Otherwise, desperation (for survival) makes it very difficult to miss the red flags…so much!

Yes, there are times we still end up touching the dust (even) with all the diligence observed but, in such instances, you don’t go too deep before finding your way out of that hole.

When it is their lack and wants that are on the driver’s seat of a love quest, most women miss it.

When will people learn that social media is NOT the Messiah to their emotional issues?

As a matter of fact, it is the hiding place of most 21st-century twisted minds!

The average man that seeks your attention out there is turned down but you are quick to “connect” with a stranger behind the keyboard, probably because he appeals to your fantasy!

Gratefully accept the gifts of social media but know that love and economic survival happen more beautifully in the real world than the virtual world, if the effort you put in is sincere enough!

By the way, men of substance are not on every social media site “looking for love”.

I can understand a man’s presence on one or two social media sites but some men are on almost every social media site.

What time and energy does such a person have for his work and loved ones?

Following a match-making effort recently, the feedback from the lady was that the brother even “presses phone” while eating.

“Someone who could not put down the phone to have a conversation with you” was how she described him.

It reminded me of the experience that a lady once shared with me.

According to her, “pressing phone” was an addiction to the husband to the extent that he did not immediately understand what she was saying the day that her water broke and labour set in.

She also mentioned how he would often lose his cool each time the children disrupted his “phone pressing” with play.

Women are really complaining about:

Men, who are no longer listening.

Men, who have arm-chair lovers.

Men, who are no longer deep.

Men, who lack discipline and sincerity.

Men, who are letting laziness win.

When you are all over the place in pursuit of entertainment and pleasure, it’s not likely that the important things and persons in your life will have the best of you. And that is how your essence becomes diminished!