The Extinction Of Extended Families -By Ezih Dominic Chukwudubem

Extended family

The extended family is a more encompassing family unit that supersedes the nuclear family. It is commonly accepted that an extended family consists of the following father, mother, children, uncle, aunt, grandfather, grandmother, etc. This family unit is very complex. It is believed that extended families were prevalent in the earlier times before the advent of nuclear families in the 21st century. Hence, the up rise of nuclear families has led to the annihilation of the extended family for various reasons. This trend has really affected the brotherly and sisterly bond that was predominant then in the extended families. Most nuclear family which is a unit of family that consists of father, mother and children have made it a norm to cut ties from most members of their extended families for reasons such as:

Some members in the extended families unit only associate with members of the extended unit that is progressing and living a comfortable life. They frequent your homes; attend your functions if things are going on well for you. But if you are facing various setbacks, they tend to disassociate themselves from you, leaving you alone to your problems. Hence, families who have experienced such scenarios have made it a point of duty to cut off all family ties.

Also, it is believed that some members in the extended families harbor evil intentions. They always seek the downfall of another member in the extended family unit. Thus, they can go as far as using various diabolical means to bring down another member of the extended family.

Reasons such as these and more have made most family members distant themselves from their extended families. They have inculcated into each of their nuclear families the need to break every possible tie from their extended families. This brings about scenario’s where some children do not know their village; they do not know their uncles, aunts, cousins and so on. All these happen in the name of cutting all family ties. This norm is very harmful to our society at large, because it will only bring about an individualistic tendency in most of us and it brings into extinction the authentic communalistic nature that has been part of us from time immemorial. As a result of this trend, when problems occur in our immediate families, we find it difficult to seek help from our extended families, because of the ties we have cut off. The misconception that extended family ties should be cut off, so that we can remedy the ills in extended families is a misconception. Cutting off ties is not the remedy. This misconception should be changed if we really want the growth of our society, because the family is the microcosm of the society, hence, if the family circle is faulty, the society is doomed to fail. But for us to bring the bond and unite with our various extended families, the following acts can be practiced.

There should be strict sensitization among every member of the extended family letting them know that every member of the family is one. There should be no disparity, jealousy, hatred among members of the extended family unit, because characters such as these tend to bring disunity among the family members. For instance, if each member of the family is worried about the welfare of another member, why is a member in the family always coming home late? Why does a particular member of the family always get to his house drunk? This concern brings and fosters unity. When we show concern, most ills in our society will be remedied.

Furthermore, each member of the extended family unit should see it as a duty to be there for any member of the family in times of distress, suffering, pains, joblessness and so on. Each member should ease the burden of each other. If this is carried out effectively, we will realise much more progress in our larger society and we all will tend to have an ideal society.

In a nut shell, no member of the family is an island. We all need each other to progress and move forward, so that, we will experience progress and growth. We should remember that the family is the microcosm of the society and if we fail to make our families work, we are destroying our society. It is better for us all to ameliorate this misconception about the extended family.

Ezih Dominic Chukwudubem, 09021321989, STUDENT OF PHILOSOPHY AT TANSIAN UNIVERSITY