The Pain Of Love That Never Walked The Aisle -By Promise Eze

We say “I love you” too soon and too much but do our hearts agree with what spills forth from our mouths?
Relationship is a hot button issue and very many people do not understand what it means. A saying goes thus: when the purpose of a thing is unknown abuse is inevitable. You would agree with me that over 90% of young adults dive into relationships because of sex. If you rub off sex from many so–called relationships today, you will end up pulling many couples apart.

Many say “I love you” too often but I must confess that most times the objects of this love wrapped in shiny folds is not the person being spoken to but their private parts. A lot of young people go into relationship not because they understand its complexities or because they want to get married but because they want to have sex. As soon as they get tired of sex from their partners they’ll frog leap into another relationship leaving in their wake a trail of many broken and shattered hearts. Sex is not the point.

I have to be blunt here. I have to wield my sword without mercy. Take it or leave it, so many men woo women not because they love them or seek intimacy but because they want to deep their long member into the genitals of the ones they claim to love. So many women are into relationship they get nothing from except sex and money. This may be the trend in our world but it is an ungodly practice. Relationship is not bad but your intentions count. 

Why do you want to date?

Marshall Segal writes, “Your answer probably hangs on why you think you (or anyone else) should date in the first place. Anyone can see that the costs are often high — crushing breakups, sexual sin, shocking betrayal, sudden rejection, devastating heartbreak.”
If sexual intimacy is what you seek in a relationship they you are in the wrong path. You should date only when you are fully aware of both the benefits and the dangers of dating.

In his book Waiting and Dating Myles Munroe says, “Young people today  face great temptations and are under tremendous pressure from every quarter to jump immediately to the physical in a relationship. Physical attraction leads quickly to deep emotional involvement and the couple hasn’t even had a chance to find out whether or not they share similar interests, dreams, or views on life. By the time those things come out and they begin  to discover that they are not on similar levels spiritually  or intellectually, it is too late because they are already emotionally entangled, making it  extremely difficult to break off the relationship. Too often they simply plunge  ahead with their emotional connection, resulting in frustrated and unfulfilled life dreams.”

Wait to Date Until You Can Marry

The question is not are you physically matured to have a partner? The question is not will my mates laugh at me if I don’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend soon? The question is not should I get a partner to help satisfy my sexual urge?

The question is I’m I ready to get married? The question is do I have a purpose in life, will getting married help me fulfil my purpose? Will the relationship I’m into help me achieve where God wants me to achieve?

If you are not ready for marriage then I suggest you have nothing to do with relationship. If you don’t wait till you are ready you will have your life and heart shattered while jumping from one relationship to the other – relationships that will never lead you to say “I do”.

Promise Eze is a student at Usmanu Danfodiyo University, Sokoto. He can be reached via ezep645@gmail.com.