The Tonto Dike In All Of Us… -By Abdullahi O. Haruna

Let it be known that love alone is not a sufficient condition for marriage, besides the unexplained feelings, there are other potent sustaining ingredients that keeps marriage. That you are handsome or beautiful isn’t enough for your marriage to stay alive or even happens. You can’t meet a lady, promise her heavens and then create hell for her when you are married. Tonto Dike may not be totally wrong I think, Churchill lured her with the snag of Obasanjo’s greatness, her love for him increased because he was Obasanjo’s son. So imagine the realisation that he isn’t any son of Obasanjo! That day, Tonto’s love for Churchill took a downward slide.

The way you present yourself to a lady during courtship is the same way she sees you when you become couple. You have no right to change. You must sustain the template because you can’t date me as the son of Dangote only to become Buba Galadima’s son after marriage. It’s not gonna happen oh! Walahi I won’t take it. In fact kolewerk.

Some people think marriage is an easy task, it is the hardest profession, it is an endless school where you can never graduate with a distinction, in fact, being married is as difficult as governing Nigeria. Let, not the ephemeral testimonies you see on social media deceive you oh. The pre-wedding fads you see are all facades, they are beautifully choreographed pieces of false consciousness scripted and acted to get your applause, likes, wows, and comments.

We all have the Tonto Dikes in our marriages, her lack of restraint abi na emotional strength sef is the reason she is the focal point of reference today, she is not alone rara. Some of us are sane in our marriages is not because of perfections but the grace of God and the limits we defined for ourselves. Needless standards are the reason for the noise in marriages. When expectations are not met, resentments set it and feelings of regrets take centre stage and the end is the collapse of marriage.

If you spend N5million on your wedding and don’t have another N5mllion in your account to sustain you after marriage, my brother you are a fool! You can’t hire the best DJ, paid handsomely to decorate your wedding venue, popped all the best wines, lodged in the best hotel and retires to a one -bedroom apartment! I repeat you can’t do that. The money you spend to host your three-hour wedding can rent you a three bedroom apartment, with state of the art furniture where you can have an endless honeymoon. This has nothing to do with being stingy but sheer common sense. Nothing breeds resentment like discomfort in the house. Make your home a villa and see happiness in the house.

As for the sister, nothing weakens your marriage than the needless fight for rights and equality. The call for equal rights in marriage is an affront to natural justice, it wrecks the home and brew distrust and acrimony. The day you agreed to marry him, that day you submit your rights to yourselves, calling for artificial spell out of equality is vain modelling of western feminism. As long as you sleep naked and your husband sleeps naked before you copulate, my sister, the both of you are equal in body and soul. Submission is not equality or otherwise, it is merely sheer sacrifices between two consenting adults who prefer happiness than rancour in their homes.

As for Tonto Dike and Churchill, the sanctity of your son is more potent than your deflated egos, cut the crab, stop your infantile poohpooh and discard your past and begin a fresh start. Enough of your rants, jibes and scandals.

Gaskiyally musing