Mental And Emotional Servicing -By Sesugh Akume

A few years ago circa 2012 or so, I was at a psychiatric hospital to consult with a psychologist. I knew I wasn’t well and it wasn’t something drugs or herbal supplements could help with. The slight headache, dizziness, heart palpitations,  low energy, and so forth won’t just go. At the hospital everyone was looking at me in a certain manner. They kept asking if I wanted to see the doctor, I said no, it’s the psychologist I wanted to see. If it got to seeing a the doctor, I will.

I went through the process and ended in front of a psychiatrist. I asked the quack who ‘helped’ me with the process if he thought I didn’t know the difference between a shrink and a psychiatrist, or if I wasn’t clear enough all the while? Well,I did talk to the psychiatrist who then referred me to the shrink.

I had 3 hours with her the first time, the next week also, the following 2 or so hours, subsequently our sessions were fortnightly, then monthly, till the they were over. It helped. I’ve recommended seeing the shrink and advocated same. Those who do appreciate it.

During the sessions which involved a battery of tests, she kept asking me if I had suicidal thoughts at any time, I always gave her an emphatic NO. How could I? How’s suicide a solution? And on and on I’d go. Another time she’d ‘mistakenly’ ask me again, like I hadn’t answered before. I’d assure, and get a bit irritated that she didn’t psychoanalyse me adequately to know that my temperament and outlook couldn’t predispose me to consider that as an option. Years down the line, and in retrospect, I realised that I indeed had suicidal thoughts then. It had occurred to me at the time, but I wasn’t even conscious of it then. I was carrying thoughts I wasn’t conscious of, thoughts in my conscious state I’d reject and censure. I wasn’t well. Imagine for a second that something snapped then and I did the unthinkable. Imagine that I hadn’t the self-awareness to know I wasn’t well, and needed to see a shrink. Imagine that I thought it was shameful to go to a psychiatric hospital to see a shrink.

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In the wake of growing suicide reports everyone in this place has become a licenced psychologist and experienced psychotherapist analysing the causes of suicide and giving unsolicited advice. Please stop! I don’t know anyone who on a very good day thinks killing themselves is a solution to their problems, and that what they’re going through only a phase, tomorrow will be better.

Some are boasting that they won’t commit suicide, they can’t. This isn’t a matter for motivational talk and positive confession relying on self. It’s deeper than that.

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A young man unfortunately ended his life. Instead of soberly looking at it, and considering what could be the cause, and empathising with his family and other loved ones, I saw the religious people judging him. They said it’s because he was agnostic. No one who believes in God would do such, and on and on they went. Really?!

Shortly afterwards, a music minister in church did same, most sadly. Then came his suicide note. Then came some criticising a church organisation he was associated with. Then came the church distancing itself from him. Then came the smear campaign on his person. He isn’t here to defend himself and provide any context. It’s his fellow believers tearing apart his dignity in death and whatever name he had whilst alive. Shame on you, religious people.

The church could’ve simply stated in a short release that he wasn’t a pastor in their church, and that they were saddened on his passing, they’d miss him (seeing as they know him) and have prayed for comfort for his family and other loved ones, without necessarily going into which his church was, what he did there, whether his wedding was cancelled or whatever. The others, in order to counter those who called out this church went on overdrive demeaning him, in death. You all didn’t learn this from Christ. What do I know? In Nigeria religion is just that, religion. It’s a cultural thing. Not that adherents really care about the teachings and truly hope to understand and shape their lives according to them.

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It’s a shame that in a psych hospital I was being stigmatised for enrolling and wanting to seek mental health attention. My shrink told me I was the first ever, to come to see a shrink that she knows. No wonder there was no established procedure for seeing a psychologist. Only psychiatric cases are referred to them, not otherwise normal people coming to see them.

See consulting a shrink as taking your car for servicing every. The engine doesn’t have to knock before you do. You could simply change the oil here or there, replace this or that. Not that they’re damaged, but because their functionality is no more top notch. Your brain works 24/7. Don’t you think it needs servicing?

Stop judging. Stop shaming. Stop stigmatising. Show some empathy. See a shrink.