Surely, Not Few People Will Emerge As Champions In Competitive Slap Fight! -By Isaac Asabor

It is not an exaggeration to say that not few people, particularly sport lovers,  will be excited to watch, say, two men stand face to face and take turns slapping one another with bare hands without head protection, while the competitors take turns to slap one another hard around the face on the cheek with open hand. To anyone that is still quivering on how realistic such sport would be, and whether Nigeria would be able to get enough number of talents to represent her in international competitions in the bid to bring back Gold prize, it is expedient to ask such person to “calm down” as the reality of the game or rather sport that is popularly known as Slap Fight has literarily come to stay with us in Nigeria as it appears that not few Nigerians are talented in the fast emerging sport of Slap Fight.  

It is expedient to recall in this context that the promoters of the ‘Slap Fight’ in Nigeria last year assured Nigerians that the queer combat sport will make its debut in Nigeria last year, specifically in October, 2021.

Mr, Abdullrahman Orosanya, the Executive Director, TKK Sport, who is the promoter of Slap Fight Nigeria, made the disclosure in a statement in Lagos, and further assured Nigerians that plans were underway, and in top gear for the inaugural championship scheduled for Lagos same month, while the title fight would hold in December, 2021, also in Lagos. Permit me to say that this writer since then did not follow up the development of the story, until few days ago when the former First Lady of Anambra State, Ebele Obiano provoked Bianca Ojukwu who in turn landed her a “hot slap” during the inauguration of Prof. Charles Chukwuma Soludo, as the governor of the State.

Orosanya explained that Slap Fighting is a newly introduced sport in Nigeria, but had been modernized in Russia and had gained popularity in the U.S. and some European countries.

“Slap Fighting is a combat sport, or at least, a self-proclaimed combat sport.

“The origins of Slap Fighting are rather blurry, but the concept itself has been a long-time practice and has had its place in popular media.

“Slap Fight competitive style tournaments are much more modern. The era of modern Slap Fighting popularity was ushered in by Russian tournaments 2010 that pitted competitors against each other in competition.

“Presently, the championship is holding in the USA, Britain, Poland, Russia and South Africa with Nigeria been the newest bride.

“Plans are in top gear for the inaugural championship holding in Lagos state in October, while the title fight is slated for December, also in Lagos,” he said.

Orosanya said that the competition would be in four categories: Middleweight, Lightweight, Heavyweight and Super Heavyweight.

“The rules of the competition is simple. Fighters compete with each other on the principles of the knockout stage.

“Two men stand face to face and take turns slapping one another with bare hands without head protection, the competitors take turns to slap one another hard around the face on the cheek with open hand.

“The win is decided by a knock-out or a judge’s verdict,” he said.

Orosanya stated further that: “One of the principal rules is that only the upper part of the palm can be used to strike only the cheek, without touching the jaw, temple or ear of the opponent.

“The championship is open to all athletes’ world-class competitors, high-profile influencers, and smack-talking rivals give and take their best shot to settle beefs and win the hard way.

He assured that “There will be a virtual training for both athletes and official preceding the championship to build the capacity of participants on the rules, modern fighting techniques and other new development in the Slap Fight sport.

“The resource team will be led by J. T. Tilley form Slap Fight Championship supported by coaches, instructors and athletes from Slap Fight and World Slap Fight Alliance,” he said.

To buttress the view that the game has already gained global relevance, and that it is now in Nigeria, it is germane to recall that the famous Arnold Sports Festival founded by actor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently launched Slap Fighting Championship.

For the sake of clarity, the championship was held on Saturday, March 5, 2022, and was hosted by YouTube star and professional boxer Logan Paul. It was aired on streaming service Fanmio and Paul’s YouTube channel and Facebook page. It was gathered that on Paul’s YouTube channel that more than 28 lakh (one hundred thousand) people tuned in to watch the championship.

At this juncture, it is not bewildering to say that a reader of this piece would be marveling whether Nigeria stands the chance of parading enough talents for the game if officially adopted. Of course, Nigeria stands a very good chance as not few Nigerians have publicly displayed their dexterity in slapping or had experienced it; either as a “slapper” or as a “slappee”.

For instance, as earlier hinted in the forgoing, Mrs. Bianca Ojukwu and Mrs. Ebere Obiano, at the venue of Soludo’s inauguration engaged when Mrs.  Obiano walked up to Mrs Ojukwu where she was seated. Mrs. Ojukwu, wife of the late Igbo leader, Chief Emeka Odimegwu-Ojukwu, was later seen in a trending video slapping her before they were separated by guests at the venue.

It is germane to opine in this context that before the earthshattering fracas that highlighted the event for a bad reason that Nigerians had witnessed slaps publicly being administered on people whose actions were considered to be offensive by the slappers.

Still in the same nexus, Nigerians will never forget in a hurry how various social media platforms in June 2021 were littered with titbits of gossips on how the Grammy award winner, Burna Boy, was reportedly slapped and beaten by some “boys” loyal to the popular Nigerian footballer, Obafemi Martins. It can also be recalled that the beef between Burna Boy and Davido advanced to a physical commotion in Ghana which many allegedly led Burna Boy to slap Davido.

In a similar vein, Nigerians cannot forget in a hurry how former Ekiti state Governor, as a governor-elect in 2014, reportedly slapped a court judge, and then ordered thugs to beat him up because the judge was allegedly rude to him. The victim of the assault was Justice John Adeyeye. Sources at the time hinted that Fayose and about 20 People’s Democratic Party (PDP) thugs arrived the court premises in the morning, and began to terrorize Adeyeye where Fayose was said to have slapped him, and then the thugs beat him up.

Contrarily, it appears slapping someone is never a big deal as mouths were agape last year when a video footage on social media showed French President Emmanuel Macron been slapped in the face on an official visit to the south-east of France.

Without heavens falling down as it would have being in this part of the world, Macron’s bodyguards merely intervened and two people were detained afterward.

Be that as it may, it seems to slap someone in Nigeria is a big deal. For instance, reacting to the trolls that trailed the death of Pastor Temitope Joshua (TB Joshua) was the threat of the General Overseer of the Mountain of Holy Ghost Intervention and Deliverance Ministry in Anambra State, Prophet Chukwuemeka Ohanaemere aka Odumeje who launched a scathing attack on the renowned televangelist, Chris Okotie, over his controversial remarks on the late Founder of the Synagogue Church of Nations, Pastor Temitope Joshua.

Okotie, who is a Pastor of the Household of God Church International Ministries, had in a video described Joshua as a false prophet, sorcerer, and one who wanted to assume the place of God on earth, and also branded the late cleric a fake man of God.

The statements sparked angry reactions from many observers, including Odumeje who warned Okotie thus: “When I see you saying you want to rule Nigeria, I see that you are suffering from insanity. You need dirty slaps to correct your senses.”

To reiterate the phrasal aspect of the sentences he employed in berating Okotie in this context, Odumeje said, YOU NEED DIRTY SLAPS TO COLLECT YOUR SENSES (Emphasis mine).

The foregoing unarguably showed how slap is regarded as a humbler and leveler, and to a large extent as a way of cowering anyone that was seemingly overreaching himself or herself down.

At this juncture, it is expedient to conclude that whenever Sports authorities in Nigeria agree to adopt Slap Fight as one the games in which Nigeria would competitively field its athletes that not few people will emerge as champions in competitive slap fight!