The Head of Nigeria Is Not Correct! -By Simbo Olorunfemi

President Muhammadu Buhari

“You have people who are above 80 and are not writing their wills but instead are still thinking of how to steal.” – Bishop Timothy Yahaya

‘Ori Nigeria o pe! Nigeria’s head is not correct!’ It was the voice of the old man, as he walked into the anonymous arms of a frowning night that had only just descended upon us. It might have been a measured, somewhat belaboured pronouncement, but there was little doubt that it came from a deep place of frustration. It was unprovoked and unexpected, yet delivered with such magisterial finality that it could have only come from him. It was left to us to fumble in the dark for answers as the man graciously took his exit on the wings of old age. Was it to do with the sudden interruption in power supply? Was it the news headline on TV a moment ago? Could it be the newspaper headlines that might have caused offence? Is it the Senate report on SGF Babachir Lawal which he says is ‘balderdash’ or the rejection of Magu by the same Senate as EFCC Boss? Is it about the clearing of ‘invasive species’ at the IDP camp or the embarrassment brought upon the nation in the tardiness with which the matter of the Super Falcons was handled? The Head of Nigeria is definitely not correct.

Do we need to look far for answers? Is the evidence not all around us? Is it not here with us at the airport, the roads, worship centres, hospitals, the public and private sectors? Is it the way we engage with ourselves or use the environment? There is little about or around us that do not query the state of our head. This is what we woke up to this morning. In fact, this is an improvement on what we were woken up to meet, as the mountain of sand has been brought down as at the time of this shot. Now, this is a ‘close’, as we call it, in a residential estate of about 200 houses. The road is the only access point to the houses on this street, but one ‘big’ man thinks it proper to ensure that other residents are stuck behind their fences so that it can serve his own purpose. There is no thought or concern about a possible emergency. But, it didn’t start today. It has been on for months. The ‘big’ man had chosen to cordon a larger portion of the road as a construction corridor to service his site. Other ‘big’ men did not query him. They elected to grumble behind their tall fences, their voices drowned by grumpy generators. They tuned the other way as they were chauffeured past the heap of sand and bricks. The man finally decides to take over the road and neighbours suddenly found their voices this morning. Now, silence has descended, as they say the man in question is the vice president of the Residents Association. That settles it. He is a big man. It is the way we are.

Nigerians behave badly because it is Nigeria where you can get away with the consequences of bad judgement and irresponsible behaviour. It is Nigeria, and people are confident that they can get away with anything, because the head of Nigeria is not correct. There seems to be a proportional relationship between the height attained by the Nigerian, especially through crooked and illegitimate means, and the likelihood that his head will not be correct. The capacity to act decently and conduct oneself like a civilised being seems to diminish with the Nigerian the higher he gets, as he must live up to the billing of a big man. He is no longer able to carry out mundane tasks other beings, including presidents of other countries, are seen to routinely do in the face of the public. He is above the law, not to be seen obeying the traffic light or even carrying his own bag. He is now protected by security forces at public expense.

So we now have too many ‘big’ men. From the ‘big’ gateman, to the ‘big’ receptionist, the ‘big’ civil servant, the ‘big’ lecturer and the ‘big’ doctor at the hospital, and acting ‘big’ men on the road, we have become a nation of too many ‘big’ men too big to render services they are paid to offer and too conceited to consider the implications of their actions on others and the nation.

But then one is faced with the question – Is the head of Nigeria not correct because the head of the Nigerian is not correct or is the head of the Nigerian not correct because the head of Nigeria is not correct?

Perhaps it is the case that the head of Nigeria has gotten so big that it has become difficult for it to be correct. Did someone not say that the bigger the size of the head, the bigger the headache? It must be then the intensity of Nigeria’s headache has to do with the size of its head. It cannot be that easy carrying around a head full of so many accomplishments. She is the giant of Africa, the largest black nation on earth, the conqueror of apartheid in South Africa, motherland of the inventor of the internet, winner of the maiden edition of the Under-17 World Cup and a 10-time winner of the Africa Women Cup of Nations. Such a head must be so big that it is out of place to expect it to be correct. No wonder the country is floating in the air like a lost balloon.

Nigeria seems to be floating listlessly on the high sea, with the Captains taking on the challenge without the help of basic, new-age navigational aids that are readily available. There is so much about the convoluted political structure that neither speaks to the reality of the country nor seeks to rein in the excesses of an unaccountable presidential system. But where one would expect the Nigerian to lend his voice in support of an attempt to whittle down the power and influence of the system, he will rather side-track the main issue, burying himself in irrelevancies, fishing instead for the motive of the whistle-blower to use to hang him. So, the question asks itself again – Is it the country’s head that is not correct or is it that of the citizen?

To disrespect others and stand in the way of the community good has become the new norm. Stealing from the vulnerable, pensioners, internally displaced persons and the dead is no longer that repulsive, kidnapping has become another routine business. Whereas we should join hands to solve the communal problem, we will rather extravagantly expend enormous personal resources to take care of the portion that pertains to self in hallucination that the self can be immuned and secured from the rot that has eaten the whole to the bones. Our heads are only correct when it comes to weeding our side of the farm, but when it comes to taking care of the communal farmland, we lose our heads. Ori Nigeria o pe! Nigeria’s head is not correct!

Simbo Olorunfemi works for Hoofbeatdotcom, a Nigerian Communications Consultancy. Twitter: @simboolorunfemi