King Sunny Ade and Ayra Starr -By Adebayo Adekola

Last week, Ayra Starr experienced a social media tumult. However, the lessons, as usual, took a lot of work to decipher amid the babble of conversation. Sometimes social media turns into a courtroom, despite the lack of decorum and form typical of a law court. Also, there are no laws, judges, or lawyers. The laws are determined by the influencers, and the guilt or freedom of the accused is as large as the number of their followers. The observers are random social media users who are neither here nor there on any social media discussions.

King Sunny Ade, an international veteran singer considered one of the most influential musicians of all time, was favoured before the court. The sitting target was Ayra Starr, a Mavin Records signee. Ayra Starr received very fierce criticism for shaking hands with King Sunny Ade instead of genuflecting to greet him. In a quick response, Ayra Starr gave an insult to injury for an apology. She referred to the icon, old enough to be her grandfather, as an uncle.

The truth is that social media has a great influence on issues. However, popular opinions on social media do not necessarily mean the best. One also needs to be very wary of the inconsistencies in such popular opinions. Hence, one needs serious caution in reacting too. Mostly, the direction its voice would take is determined by the mindset and worldview of the influencers initiating the discussion. Subsequent dissents are usually not different either.

It was on the same social media that calling and disrespecting an elder statesman was considered commendable. One opinion that took centre stage then was that the world has moved from conventional decorum, respect, deference, and servility. Some of them attributed this to one of the reasons Africa is backward. Some alluded to the fact that these elders have lost the respect they deserve because of what they considered their heinous crimes.

Perhaps those who initiated this deliberation then are those considered ‘‘woke’’, and Ayra Starr would pass for a dyed-in-the-wool true blue patriot of them. I do not know Ayra Starr and I have not met her before.

However, I have met and interacted with King Sunny Ade closely. The elderly King is a genteel. He is smooth and frosh-woke slang. You would most likely genuflect without prompting upon meeting him closely. Except you have no regard for decorum, deference, or servility.

Upon close interaction, you would observe his simplicity. He would greet you warmly, most likely bowing his head, no matter your age. He listens, facing you without looking into your eyes, while at the same time having his hands either at his side or both hands at his back if standing.

He won’t be bothered by a young lady such as Ayra Starr not genuflecting to him or calling him an uncle. He is one of the few living favoured to have the world as his palace.

Likely, Ayra Starr’s handlers did not school her on greetings when meeting elders like King Sunny Ade in public and the influence such would have on her brand.

In my interactions, both privately and professionally, with many successful elites, there are two things I have learned. When they are meeting one another, the younger elite, approaches the older elite/the one with the most success, fame or reputation with enthusiasm and total reverence, even if they have differences!

Secondly, no matter any popular media opinions about an issue between two elites, they rarely succumb to media pressure to the extent of making further mistakes, as she did. If any of them is under fire for his or her actions or inactions towards another person, he or she will make a phone call to the other person. Laugh over it.

Then they would meet or follow with a visit to one another in person, have a drink or meal. They may not even talk about the incidents. I have seen this happen several times.

I strongly believe that everyone should be held responsible for their actions and inactions. However, it should not rob one of the natural privileges and respect that come with being elderly. Also, all commentators are observers They can be overwhelming and should not be mistaken for reality. Ayra Starr should, in my opinion, privately reach out to King Sunny Ade.

She has more to gain and learn doing this compared to a tweet and any other form of media post on the incident. As my generation dares to be different, this event again reinforces my conviction that we have a lot to learn from the older generations on decorum, respect, deference, servility, and how to handle differences and relationship.

Adebayo Adekola

Team Lead/Founder, Taitum Legal Practitioners

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