The nation’s stranded human capacity and its Generation Myspace – driving the growth that’s beyond government’s capacity by tact -By Jimi Bickersteth

This evening, at Oba-Onitsha, Anambra state, the starry heavens, a majestic sea of magnificence, with its fascinating beauty, grandeur, opulence in its quadrant and wide expanse witnessed quite a large number of audience. An audience teeming in accord with life on a grandiose ocassion. An occasion that was equally no less magnificent. The atmosphere was generally more of a smoggy sitcom in real life come alive.

The village came alive and none of the nouveau-riche were particularly good role models for this montage. This montage of an essay is of a people and ‘entrepreneurs grandees’ clearly suffering from delusions of grandeur and were bent on teaching grandmother’s how to suck eggs at a time the grandmother’s fate was in melting pot, and composed of many separate items put together.

Sitting here on the balcony of a three-storey building and peering through the lattice of tall reeds as the evening wore on, I felt a sudden lassitude descend on me, as I caught sight of the crowds that were practically flowing in the sea of excitement with carton loads of alomo bitters, power horse, tramadol packs and countless satchet of assorted brands of other canned alcoholic beverages.

I saw countless numbers of personalised plate numbers and their corresponding tinted glasses, least of all, the grandmother of marvels at the grand ocassion, was the tensed, near orchestrated and a massively malleable aggressive abuse of the nation’s currency – an abuse which, arguably, copiously, contravened the CBN Act of 2007. The Naira ‘paper’ was so degraded in such a way that proclaimed it, indeed, as “that cheap ‘thing”, cheaper than trampling on roses and it is cheaper than stepping on velvet cake”.

These “cheap ‘thing” description of the nation’s currency were expressed euphemisms, echoed by a participant at the ocassion. A participant who I gathered was into the republican pyramid selling scheme – a method of selling goods in which somebody pays for the right to sell goods and then sells part of that right. The ‘brilliance’ and essence of that line of euphemisms were simple, and, in essence, the nation have only one choice, which was, to go back to the basics.

The “cheap’thing” euphemisms was an effective riposte from roistering men waving bottles of wine to the nation on the state and value of its currency, but should not be taking lying low by anyone with a strong devotion to one’s own ‘nation’ with patriotic feelings and spirited efforts. Yes! admitted the currency have “lost value” and was ‘bad’, the further desecration in the process of remission with such disgusting aplomb, in my humble opinion, was equally in bad taste!

The Generation MySpace at the Oba-Onitsha jamboree, in spite, of the discomfits all around has expressed in its own ‘language’ that it has acquired and assumed, even, a hollow ritual with the lewd music and excessive roistering that was going on – experiences that appeared to be opening the door, spoiling the fun and risking the future of tomorrow today.

The fortuitous experiences @Oba-Onitsha has exposed the nation’s youths whose images I saw vividly in a shadowy negative film contorted by the heat of a midday sun and whose conducts this very moment triggered in me the ugly reminiscences of the reckless, riderless and ruderless willing horses in the orgy of violence of the #ENDSARS parade. I winced!

Well! Growing up in the sixties, ‘Lagosians” have a common, though, an infamous taunt, “ìkàn mí dà nínú òkú ìyá Àdèlé! Meaning, what’s my own in Adele’s mother’s burial, Adele, was a Lagos regent at the time. But again, the frivolity and wholesale, highwired exuberance displayed @Oba-Anambra and the resultant ‘show offs’, could not escape one’s critiques and assessment.

Although, the Yorubas would say, (”ẹnití ò yá ni l’ówó, tí ò yá ni l’áṣọ kì ípe ni lárungún”), one that has not borrowed one money or a dress should not address one of wastefulness. I don’t know if the translation did justice to the intents, depths of the celebration and the meaning laced in those wisecracks. However, let’s buy into that time-worn trite, ‘let the sleeping dog lie.” Afterall, the dead stay dumb.

Some issues can be corrected through teaching and leadership. But you can teach someone to care: if they don’t care, they’ll keep on polluting the environment of change. These were the same people that would attempt to break government’s resolve and rhythm with constant complaints and legalese. How ambivalent can people be, speaking from both sides of the mouth, warm on one side and hot on the other.

I can see why fear was making a whole lot of them, tax defaulting moneybags, hitherto, involved in illegality, sponsored links and attempts to control and or criticise government. At the @Oba-Onitsha shenanigans, all came away with sad impression of the Naira, the nation’s national symbol, as a currency whose colourful prints not only made its printing expensive and less beautiful, but also made its face value less than the intrinsic value.

The sour pictures of the taxes defaulters ‘crème de la crème’ of ‘society’ present at the bastardisation of the nation’s currency was like an assault on the nation’s group dynamics, civility and humility. Let me here finally, extricate, divorce and excuse the #Oba-Anambra in all its understandable elegaic elitism, exuberance, facts, figures, theorem and details and concentrate on the matters arising thereof, as it concerned the nation’s leadership offerings of the future.

At a time the government had admitted there were ‘problems’, that in itself was a slight euphemism, given the millions of people without food, water or shelter, and daily waking up to the worst economic crisis. The golden, palm-fringed gardens and exuberant tropical vegetations of the abode in which I was housed by now held little attraction for me, as I have my sights set on this milling and frolicking generation of people – a ‘Generation Myspace’, simply put, the nation’s future.

This generation of people consists of the young, the not-so-young, some married, some single-mothers, some merely boyfriend/girlfriend, some of them were results of fathers and mothers that have refused to shoulder paternal and maternal responsibilities, who either could no longer function as they have once done or crippled by the prevalent global economic meltdown, the covid-19 and the covid – Delta variation pandemics; all of them, practically surrounded and drowned by the sheer weight of the euphoric and reckless opulence on display.

The Oba-Onitsha scenarios left behind a picture of the livid bruises and excessive extravagance in the hearts of a damsel in distress – a lost nation, who, till date was in search of meaning, identity, direction, philosophy and synergy. Nonetheless, it had its headlands and prow juts out defiantly into the sea of the unknowns, looking for a way out from its effervescent and or fizzy third-rate leadership and a Third world debt its endowed with.

The nation, a leading Third world country with the fear of its
a) ‘minority components’ unassuaged,
b) unanswered choruses of marginalisation song all over,
c) the persistent threats of dismemberment from the southeast and southwest (both of whom should by now know that they cannot either singly or jointly by mob attack, emotional blackmail and propaganda stampede the nation to accede to their clamour for self-independence), and,
d) also in the throes of inability to proffer solutions to the numerous national questions because the nationals in the nation, particularly, ‘the big three’ would not convene a meeting and talk to one another, eyeball to eyeball.

The nation went on pretending that there was a duly elected NASS and a convoked parliament at that. The more reason it appeared to keep dilly dallying on the prospect of a national conference and or a constitutional amendment(s) by the 9th NASS – a NASS, that was in itself a microcosm of the nation and by inference, the failure, and remains of the Nigerian society; the remainder of the nation’s cadaver, in need of thorough autopsy, restructuring, and therein lies the problem of the nation state. These were indeed the background of the artistic sensibilities and picturesque thistles of the great nation.

Much as these pièce de résistance were wonderfully evocative of the nation’s life, it also gave the nation an impression of a sea that stood vigil over its harbour and the surrounding glassy sands and oysters, millions of them, some dead, some living, most of them were living dead amidst plenty and an embarrassment of riches. But were redeemable, and that should make anyone, in spite of the #Oba-Onitsha scenarios perspicacious enough to realise that things were soon going to change. How soon? That would be anyone’s conjectures.

The spirit of the time and general trend of thought, however, dictates that the nation really need to take a new look at the challenges confronting it as it open the door to radical creativity and national transformation. At this point, the pastor in me says, the Lord has pleasure in the prosperity of His servants. He is a present help in times of need. But He also wants you to succeed so that you can begin to meet the needs of others. I mean, there were far too many downtrodden even here in Oba-onitsha.

One of the numerous nouveau riche, while grandstanding, was reportedly said he was going to make available to 300 youths a sum of 1million naira each. That gladdens one’s heart, hope he’s true to his words. Money answers everything. Money build schools, church and hospitals. It eradicates poverty and illiteracy. It finances researchers that cure life threatening illnesses. But presently at Oba-Onitsha, I saw men, rich men that no longer see the nation’s streets that was filled with suffering and unmet needs, and that should be one’s greatest motivation for wanting stupendous wealth.

Having acquired that wealth, one should consider the good one can do as a successful person. Think of the non-selfish actions one could take, or the ministries and causes and or foundations one could influence and or support, if you had wealth beyond your needs. What morals did the nation picked up from the Oba-Onitsha week-long razzmatazz. A morally debased one, and that’s being charitable and mild. The wishy-washy showoffs, were undertaken by those who were merely guided by instincts and impulses, who do not possess the moral backbone, or who could stood up for what’s right.

The relaxed hurlyburly atmosphere and convivial jovial environment, the noisy friendliness of the crowd, the cow barbecues, the ‘Dorame anthem’ on wines and spirits and throwing blocks of Naira, contrasts a nation where hunger and lack and poverty was well advertised. It painted also, a picture of a peoples with little worries in a nation of affluence and an amazing embarrassment of riches in the sun. Bordering the nation’s beach of poverty and pervasive lack in my mind’s eye is a long stretch of unspoiled and unexplored coastline in a nation destined for greatness.

For the umpteenth time, let me say again that the montage of the focus here in this treatise composed many separate items put together, and was actually not going to solely be on the now notorious, nonetheless, infamous #Oba-Anambra extraordinary extravagance, but would merely, use the @Oba-Onitsha’s ocassion and its silly pictures of characters who the present global economic meltdown and its effects on the nation’s very poor and needy but struggling prospects meant very little as a pedestal.

The young, the poor, vulnerable and needy whom have been caged in a wooden toboggan and pushed to slide down hills covered by the snow of prosperity they could not enjoy. Oh! Blimey! That was a pretty long sentence. Well! Life’s Journey presents us with many choices and although the nation has failed to impress the army of youths and disappointed the wealth seeking conquistadors, it delights them, to them the nation is brimming with natural riches but has nothing to show for it. The laissez-faire approach inherent in its political and general administration, favoured a handful of the bourgeoisie with shady grove and deals. It in fact delights them. It gives credence to the perceived conspiracy of government and the bourgeois it wily nily created.

This evening the visitors who came to the Oba show off of wealth could see the luminescence of naira power, and marvel at the splendour all round. To my right, the trails of the African fish in their aquatic splendor light up in the dark waters in the giant aquarium like green shooting stars, and brought with it the memories of when swimmers take to the water, every movements they make can be seen in the dark side when they lift their arms out of the water, droplets fall off them like twinkling stars.

The party has on offer more than enough alcohol, shusha, weeds, brown, codeine, rev, cracks etc. To the teeming youths here at the party their experiences is like bathing in stars. Add to this experience, what orgies going on in other places, where they kept mixing enthusiasm with age and losing our sense of idealism. The old saying, “You’re only young once” is true, but you can be immature for a lifetime. Let’s go back home to roost. There and then, everything about the @Oba-Onitsha show off frizzled out of my mind, as soon as I realized that at any given moment, millions of our youths are online.

This ‘kids’ were as good as the intelligence open, accessible and available to them, except in severe, extreme cases and other extraneous factors out of their control, which should be the exception rather than the rules. Whether at home, at school, at a friend’s house, or – if they have internet access on a handheld device or cell phone – almost anywhere. If you are a parent; you are faced with a sobering reality. Your children are probably more comfortable in this new cyber world than you are, and may have kept you out of the several orgies at their joints and parties; and they may also know how to keep you in the dark about their online activities.

Meanwhile, as a parent, people – pressure run your life, friends, relatives, schedules, opportunities, other people’s opinions. Is this cause for concern? Absolutely! Is the situation hopelessly bad? By no means. It is how you exercise parental control that has been called to question. The level of restrictions and when to let go can be a confusing and may bring conflict that may bring out the best or the worst in the child.
True, it may seem that when it comes to the internet, your child is the native and you are the tourist. Still you can learn the lay of the land.
1) if giving children internet access in the privacy of their bedroom – is not the final word in safety.
2) the Web has been exploited by all manner of unscrupulous individual. Many Web sites feature explicit s3x, and these are easy for the unwary to stumble upon. A former FB executive has recently as last December 2017 admitted that he banned his children from using the site. Chamath Palihapitiya former VP user growth said, “app is ripping society apart.” Some have innocently and unintentionally encountered pornography online – in most cases while doing homework. The Web also provides easy access to sites that promote teen gambling and its highly addictive nature. Then there are the so-called pro-ana Web sites that glorify “the anorectic lifestyle”. Many pro-ana sites and organizations claim that they do not promote anorexia. Some of these however, present anorexia as a lifestyle choice rather than as a disorder.
(3) Predators commonly frequent rooms hoping to lure a child into an online or even a face to face s3xual encounter. -A friend posed online as a 15-year old. “Almost immediately “,she was invited by someone into a private chat room. She claimed she didn’t know how to get into it, and her helpful new friend ‘walked’ her through the process. Then he wanted to know if she wanted to have [online] sex. A parent may see a Webcam as an easy and inexpensive way for a child to communicate with friends, but a predator see it as an open window into a child’s bedroom and faculty.
(4) Instant messaging conversations can be distracting if your child is supposed to be studying or engaging in another activity that requires concentration. In addition, how can you be sure with whom your son or daughter is communicating? After all, you cannot hear the conversation.
(5) Online diaries or blogging gives one the opportunity to write about one’s thoughts, passions and activities. A blog is open to the public. Some youths carelessly reveal information that can be used to identify and trace their family, school, or home address. Another factor : Blogs can harm reputations, including the blogger’s own. For instance, employers do consult applicants blog when considering whether to hire them.

In this and allied issues, the wise Solomon enthused that, it appears the lips of a strange woman keeps dripping like a honeycomb, and her palate smoother than oil. But the aftereffects from her is as bitter as wormwood. A social networking site is like an online party, some very scary people and characters can show up. Furthermore, internet friendship like real life friendship can be superficial.

On their Web pages, some youths accumulate a good number of online contacts whom they have never met and may never meet face to face, simply to appear popular to others who visit their site. It boils down to judging a person’s social stock value merely by how many other people like him or her. The commodities trading style of relating reduces our children to non-human entities and places an inordinate amount of pressure on them to represent themselves in whatever way will gain them more friends.

Now, imagine you are walking along a dark path late one evening, as I was doing. Although the sun has long since set, you do not feel hopelessly lost, for you have in your hand a powerful flashlight. When you point it downward, you see clearly what is immediately in front of you. And when you point it forward, its piercing beam illuminates your path far into the distance. In some ways, parents are like such a flashlight. And they can help the teeming mass of this fun-seekers and Generation Myspace fill the space in their lives and deal squarely with what is immediately in front of them – day-to-day problems that we all face in this uncertain world, and also find a way to provide an illuminating view of the future viz a viz what society have become, therefore, enabling these millions of ‘babes’ to see and follow a path that leads to lasting happiness and contentment.

What are the worst problems facing humanity. Which ones are the most terrifying. Perhaps you think of warfare, pollution, crime, or corruption. But all of this world issues are perpetrated by people from homes which are the bedrock of society. Besides, parents have enough troubles in their hands, as it were, without adding worries about situations that hadn’t happened and probably wouldn’t happen. But again, are they indeed, threatening more than the pervasive moral bankruptcy in society, greed, dishonesty and the latest icing on the cake, alcoholism and drug addiction, as anxieties are pushing young men and women, boys and girls towards over-drinking. And to add in parentheses that the misuse of alcohol has been linked to serious health problems, broken and damaged relationships, and millions of untimely deaths that has left society broken and also left on its trail sordid stories of sorrow in most families.

As a parent, which situation would make you more nervous – knowing that your child had the keys to the family car or knowing that he or she as the case may be had unrestricted access to the internet or is engaged in orgies at parties with friends, inappropriate flirting and pornography. Both activities involve measure of danger. And require a level of responsibility. Of course, parents cannot like forever restrict their children from operating at a level of consciousness the world and society forced on them, or operating a vehicle, but they can make sure that their children do it guidedly and on-a-need-to-know basis. Watch the kinds of friends they keep, drive safely, parents should take similar approach to use of the internet.

Parents whose children have unlimited freedom and liberty in the type of friends they keep, and internet access need to have a basic understanding of what goes on in the minds of their children and also how the internet works and what their children are doing when instant messaging, browsing Web pages, or engaging in other online activities.

Parents shouldn’t conclude that they are too old or uneducated to learn. Keep up with the technology. Internet Service Providers (ISPS’) and software programs may offer parental controls that act as “railings” to block inappropriate pop-ups and access to harmful sites. Some programs can even help prevent children from revealing personal information, such as their names or address. It should be realized, however, that such parental control are not foolproof. Also, many older children who are computer literate learn how to bypass them. Decide when your child can use the internet, the length of time they can be online, and the type of sites they can and cannot visit. Discuss your guidelines with your children, and make sure that they understand them.

Of course, you cannot monitor your children when they are outside the home. It is important, therefore, to instill proper values on the child so that they will make wise decisions when they are not in your presence. Spell out clearly what the consequences will be if your rules regarding the internet and orgies at parties are broken. Then enforce those rules. Monitor your children’s use of the internet, and let them know that you will be doing so. This is not an invasion of privacy, their safety must be of great concern to you, and besides, the internet is another public forum; and it’s advisable for parents to maintain access to their ward’s online accounts and randomly check their emails and the websites that they have visitors.

Parents must note that monitoring and tracking will go only so far, the values you inculcate and teach – and the examples you set – will go a long way and much further in protecting your children. An open line of communication with your children is your best defence against all online and other societal dangers. Protecting your children from the dangers takes effort, immense efforts. But help you must your children to help them become the best they can be, in a world where our way of life has taken us to the depths of despair while hopelessly and helplessly going through the valley of deep shadows.

Meanwhile, society’s fascination with celebrity role models children and youths emulate has gone a little crazy. Millions idolise those who have achieved fame and fortune, yet stardom does not provide the satisfaction it advertises. Imagine a long, dark hallway with a series of doors on either sides. Written on each one is the name of an addiction such as alcohol, tobacco, drugs, pornography, gambling etc. Youths must walk this hallway on their journey to adulthood and our children’s temptation to open those doors will be great. They can hear the beat of the music, music with lewd and lasciviously vulgar lyrics and the raucous laughter of their friends echoing from inside.

The pressure to join in the laughter can be enormous. And it’s very difficult to convince a fun-loving adolescent that they should stay in the dark hallway, which seems so boring and embarrassing. Unfortunately, for a certain percentage of individuals who open one or more of these doors, a tragedy begins to unfold and unfurled. If a person is susceptible and gullible -and there’s no way to know in advance -he or she only has to crack the door an inch or two and a monster will run out and grab them. And some will be held in its grip for life and society equally held spellbound. If you care to talk to an addict about his or her addiction, you’ll learn that it probably began casually with no hint that life was about to take a tragic turn. It all started with opening a door.

Parents and guardians get it wrong and in a way influence and inflame the wanton ergo of the children and the Myspace generation by the knack and anxiety for a well turn out children. Angry outbursts are destructive in all relationships, especially in the home. Children are the most vulnerable to parental danger, and they mirror their parents’ behaviour. Your actions as parents are training your children, and in an attempt to correct, you must be careful not to fly into fits of rage. When you exhibit tantrum-like behaviour you are acting out of a selfish need to get what you want, when you want it, in the way you think you ought to have it. Please for your family’s sake -bstart acting like a true adult.

Children love the most simple, repititive kinds of activities more than the expensive toys or special events. That’s the way children think. The most meaningful activities within families are often those that focus on that which is spontaneous and personal. Busy and exhausted fathers and mothers, especially the affluent, sometimes appear to “payoff” their kids with toys, cars. It rarely works. What girls and boys want most is time spent with their parents in building things in the garage or singing in the car or hiking to an old fish pond. Not the expensive vacations or trips to Disney World. It was when parents’ would get down on the floor and wrestle with them. Where they could gang-tackle the “old man ” and laugh until their sides hurt.

That’s the way children think. Give them time. Not toy, to be played with alone, can ever compete with the enjoyment of such family moments. And those moments will be remembered for a lifetime. Anything outside of this leaves a vacuum and a vacant space and outlook to life and living thus filled by association that fueled bad manners and disposition. Get to encourage and strengthen the children. Encouragement can work miracles. In the movie Stand and Deliver, High School teacher Jaime Escarntante has two students in class named Johnny -one is a happy child and an excellent student ;the other spends his time messing around and getting into trouble.

When the Parent Teacher Association held its first meeting of the year, a mother came up to Jaime and asked, ‘How’s my son, Johnny getting along?” Jaime mistakenly assumed she was the mother of the better student, so he replied, ‘I can’t tell you how much I enjoy him. I’m so glad he’s in my class. The next day problem ‘Johnny ‘ came to Jaime and said, ‘My mummy told me what you said about me last night. I haven’t ever had a teacher who wanted me in his class.’ The result? He completed his assignments that day, and brought in his completed homework the next morning.

A few weeks later, he had become one of Jaime’s hardest working students -and one of his best students. His life had been turned around because of an accidental word of encouragement. It’s not a one-off thing. It works like this:When you look for good in a person and express it, you give them something to look up to. In other words, you motivate them to be better than they are. And here’s the great thing about encouragement, you don’t have to be rich, attractive, prominent or brilliant to give it, and its always appreciated.

So today encourage someone, encourage a child, a teenager, adolescent and even an adult for a better tomorrow. But exercise great resistant and utmost care when you hear the familiar, “Do you want to plan my life for me?” Because often when a person’s behavioural patterns are fully formed, The ability to change their hearts is above anyone’s pay grade, so don’t fall into that ego trap or you’ll fizzle like a wet firecracker.

As parents you know how when you’re in love, it shows on your face and expressed itself in your words. We love our children too much to let bad behaviour go unchecked. Down the road we know it will negatively affect their attitude toward authority, relationship, accountability and personal discipline. We care enough to love and guide them.

In the movie ‘Seabiscuits’, one of the main characters, Tom Smith was asked, why he kept a lame ageing horse. He replied, ‘You don’t throw away a whole life just because he’s banged up a little!” That old horse ended up leading a younger horse to a spectacular racing career. Thank God for motivators, (not “siddon-look”) who made the difference between a trip to the glue factory and winning a blue ribbon riband!

As I drove home in the middle of the night, just to get this piece to you, struggling with loneliness, my feelings are like majority of our good people, who felt like as if they were outside the departmental store of life looking in on everybody else. Of course, we all struggle at one point or another with problems of our own, but then, I realized we have to strive to attach ourselves more firmly to the finest of the fine, and make a decent list of activities that we could enjoy with others, so that we could form connections based on good values, even as we learn to see the good in others and to treat them as if that were all that we could see.

I kept pondering how pity parties keep us from savouring life’s sweetness. It was a powerful reminder of what our debased and flagrantly permissive society had become, and the failure of government and caregivers in their carelessness in feeding the nation’s with imagination and silence takes the emphasis off words where they are no longer necessary. Now, I feel like a parent running alongside a child who’s learning to ride a bike – for a child that’s now lacking in confidence, looking strange at age twenty, it’s like trying to, sit and watch a seed sprout. Now that I’m still trotting along beside him trying to prevent a wobbly ride. If you don’t know exactly what to do, don’t let it keep you from doing something. It is your duty to motivate the youths to get a life.

I’ll want to sign out with Badohsneh’s “WO-Omo Tika bo…” and a more recent “ojú mi logbo…, ṣè’dí bàlàbàlà, ṣè’dí bòlòbòlò…You may enjoy the songs, but their lyrics were something else.

Do have a truly nice day. #JimiBickersteth
Jimi Bickersteth is a blogger and a writer.
He can be reached on Twitter
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Email jimi.bickersteth@yahoo.co.uk