They Are Girls Not Brides -By Sanni Temitope Abigail

A general misconception. Some words instilled. Lived. Indulged. Acted. And Later become an unachieved dreams, cut short for a lifetime. Most girl child has gone astray as a result of parents’ misconceptions birthed by ignorance. Ever since a girl has had a first cry, what has been looked out for had been their beauty and how they could attract men if best used. Due to this, a female child has been forced to conform with societal and familial expectation. Thus they have been expected to talk, act, dress and live for men and not for themselves. Therefore we have female child marriage with the child in question spending a lifetime in anguish.

Child marriage is driven by gender inequality and the belief that female child are inferior, has no grand expectation like males.That is why the male child has alwaus been left free to pursue their goals while the females contained and meant to sell their beauty. This has destroyed and will continue to do so if care is not taken. Some of the misconceptions that has shaped the life of a female child and need to be addressed are;

1.Telling them to be beautiful to find a good husband. Tell her to be beautiful for who she is, what she is, and what she will become.

2. Being quick to judge her behaviour. Never tell her she is short tempered and will not find a good husband. Rather, tell her and show her how her behaviour would affect her future and her social life.

3. Telling her to eat less to prevent weight gain. If she enjoys eating, never call her a glutton. If she does not like eating much never call her sick. Never tell her she should do this to get a good husband. Tell her it’s for her health and well-being.

4. Never paint sex as a bad thing for her.Tell her sex is a wonderful thing created by God and if she indulged, she will have to be responsible for whatever consequences she encounters. If you paint sex as terror, she will be curious.

5. Never tell her to learn domestic attributes for her husband,

but to know it, so that she can grow up independently and be someone others would look up to.

6. Teach her to be realistic not materialistic.

Let her know that all that glitters are not gold. Even if she wants to be materialistic, urge the child to work for it. The girl child should be told to work like boys to achieve their dreams. Then their beauty could come in handy later. As there are some suckers for beauty with brains.

Many that has shaped the life of a girl child lie in what is uttered as parents. But the world of a girl child and the world in general could see a change and parents also have to do their part; by setting up a good foundation for the girl child, bringing them up to be theirselves, live for what they are, who they are and not the image that has been painted for them.