Good Night To My Mother-In-Law That Was A Biological Mother -By Isaac Asabor

On Boxing Day, on the 26th of December, 2022, my precious mother-in-law, Nse Duff (Nee Jackson) who lived from 1941 till she stepped away from her mortal body into glory and left behind. 6 children, and 4 in-laws that cut across sons-in-law and a daughter-in-law. Since the news of her death was broken to us (my wife and yours sincerely), I have found it to be emotionally tasking to have to write a tribute to my mother-in-law whom I regarded to be my biological mother throughout the period I knew her by virtue of the relationship that exists between me and my wife, Mrs. Roselyn Asabor. Mummy, as I fondly called her was close to me and my wife and children. We were together through thick and thin.

To not a few husbands, mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on son-in-law or daughter-in-law’s misery. Luckily for me, for over 20 years or so that I knew mummy till she departed on Monday, December 26, 2022, we never had cross words as she was throughout her life motherly and caring, and inspirational to me and my family. She made much impact in my life through her own life and through the life of her wonderful daughter, my wife whom she adoringly called by her native name, “Nwanyi”.

She gave me a precious woman, with whom to share my life, a woman I am proud to say has become a Proverbs 31 wife. When my wife busted into tears upon hearing the sad news on Monday evening, I consoled her by telling her that mama’s death was the home-going of one of God’s most precious Saints, a life marked by unusual selflessness.

No doubt, Mama, a devout Christian affiliated with Qua Iboe Church, affectionately called ‘Grandma’, by my children and their cousins has left a huge void, it seems, as those who love her are still struggling to get over her passing, and are still heaping praises upon a woman who, they say, had a great impact on them.

Without resorting to sounding hyperbolical in this context, mama, the people of Afaha Nsit, a community in Akwa Ibom State who witnessed your departure on that black Boxing Day, and the Qua Iboe Church family hail you today, a matriarch who has left footprints on the sands of time. You have been in my life for valuable years. You were not just my mother-in-law, you were a mother, my friend, my counselor, my mentor, and my celebrity. I won’t forget your counsel that “Make you and Mama Gloria nor fight oooo”.

From the very beginning, when I first saw mama, I was totally accepted. Mama made me feel right at home… In fact, I honestly cannot remember ever going through a stroppy switch from being a stranger to being the son-in-law. To explanatorily put it in this context, she welcomed me from the very first day she saw me.

Against the foregoing backdrop, permit me to say that my darling mother-in-law deserves garlands, not wreaths. Praises, not tears. Smiles, not sorrows. Happiness, not sadness. The reason for the foregoing cannot be farfetched as she had great strength, and was filled with wisdom…

In fact, she was my shining example of strength and compassion; honor, and love. I was grateful to call her “Mummy”, and her compassion for others was so deep!

She treated others with kindness and respect, even as many lives were blessed through her goodness. But even in grief, we know we are so lucky to have had this loving woman in our lives and, now, in our hearts forever.

She was unarguably a good mother-in-law that was a biological mother.

So long! Goodnight! The best mother-in-law!